Seemingly harsh sounding word depending on how it's used.....but in short clearly means something is being taken away, quickly and with intention of never being regained. Though I prefer this definition.....dismantled. I invision a piece of furniture that's been damaged and in bad need of repair. Each piece has to be carefully removed in order to protect the integrity of the wood, the hardware, the detail that was taken when first made. It sounds more gentle and forgiving, and that while the piece is still being stripped, there is purpose, reason, and a belief and hope that once the old has been taken away......the new can be revealed.
Of course I don't have the need to talk about refinishing furniture here...but it does allow me to see clearly how our lives do go through times where we feel as if we are being stripped naked. Where everything we have, think, or do needs to be transformed into something different, even if we have no clue as to exactly what they are, we do feel something is on it's way and we need to prepare. The problem most often is that we are not paying attention to those things that need to be stripped away, and caught off guard. You know......the hit by the truck .......the rug pulled out from under us.....run over by a train....run off into the ditch feelings. We've all been there at some point and time......some worse than others, and we either have to take a nose dive into the situation in search of our strength, or we bail.
Now I'm sure you ask yourself quite often when these things happen to you or to someone around you, WHY? And the first thing you want to do when it does happen is RUN, wanting no part at all. Will it help to know this is practiced most often? Of course more appropriately called, denial. Denial allows us to step away, buy a train ticket to another place, even though we have no destination in mind......just gone without a trace. I can testify to this practice, and for a long time it worked quite well for me, till the train stopped running........ran out of steam so to speak. This is in fact a very scary place to be......but is where the stripping comes into play. Yes indeedy, when you've used all your tickets to run, and there is no place else to hide, you feel like you're standing in the middle of the road naked....for all to see....completely vulnerable.
Now many of us still have the ability or luxury rather, to stay in that place of denial, usually because we've been hit with stuff in life, but nothing that forces us to our knees......nothing that demands one to relinquish the ticket to run. These abilities may seem like extraordinary coping skills, which granted many people have, and put to good use, but for many of us, it is exactly what it appears to be......running. The pain or loss may be too great to endure, and there is no other recourse. This is very hard to experience for self, and very sad and confusing to watch in those around us. I guess it depends on how well you know the person as to whether they are in denial or whether they are simply enduring what has stripped them to the core.
In my case, since I have been stripped to the core, with no tickets left to run, I have been forced for many years to allow God to "dismantle" me as He sees fit, and now am able to see it for what it is. Not a punishment, and for sure not something one can run from or deny, but rather see as something quite necessary in order to free myself from all things that no longer serve a purpose in my life. What are those things? Things that we hang onto that stand in the way of living a life of truth, integrity, and humility....as well as joy, peace, contentment, the ability to understand and forgive those around us, and realizing our God given gifts and talents.
So the next time I feel I'm being stripped, and have no train ticket, I'll try to sit still and allow God to show me in His time what needs to change.....and will grant those around me the grace in which to do the same.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
A Picture in Your Mind
I'm sure at some point most of us have had thoughts, dreams, and visions of being parked in a beach chair someplace exotic, allowing the woes and cares of the world to melt away with the suns warming rays. It's a good vision, for it brings, even if momentarily, a sense of relief from life's daily situations that can leave us so very depleated. And when you are forced to spend most of your time at home still and quiet, tucked away from the world, those visions can come in very handy indeed. You need a change of scenery from your "stuff", just as I need a change of scenery from my four walls.
Of course my challenge, keeping with the tone of the previous blog about the weave of life, and how to start visualizing how you see yourself in the world. is to step away from the "checking out of reality" scene that the beach brings, and really picturing yourself according to what your physical self experiences at any given moment. For instance.....you woke up with a headache, slept through your alarm for work, ran out of shampoo, and now your car won't start. I know.....a doozy of a morning. But for me, I see myself locked in a closet, naked and covered with soap suds, with no one even remotely closeby to answer my screams for help. In other words completely and totally helpless, with seemingly no way out.......the key word being helpless.
So for a moment I have taken time to connect my gut feelings of helplessness, to hopefully a way in which to find a way out of my predicament. Of course the end result will be not that I have a headache and late for work, but how I decide to be with all of that and not lose my mind, or turn it into a situation where I beat myself up for essentially being in the midst of things that simply go wrong in life....period.
Of course the worse case scenario in this situation, is getting fired for being late. The other things like a headache, running out of shampoo or a car not starting is just stuff........you know the "if it's not one thing it's another syndrome." Just the wheels of life moving along as they see fit. So back to the closet scene. The goal here is to accurately connect with the feelings of helplessness, where if you are feeling helpless in one area of your life, your likely to feel it in another. That can come later. But for now......you're in the closet.....you don't like the feeling obviously or what else it brings up about your life.......the trick is.......how to let go of that helplessness so you can simply get back to life and correct those things that are immediately wrong. Bottom line....you want to.....need to get to work, so some things will have to take place in order for that to happen, and focusing on your helplessness won't accomplish much.
And obviously, this is not really about having a headache, running out of shampoo, or being late for work, but being able to connect the dots from the situation at hand, to some really hard core feelings and emotions that it brings up about you and your life. Whew.........talk about going around to the back door to make a point. Well.....sometimes it takes as long as it takes.....but I eventually get there.
Since I learned to do this in my own life, I have gone from visions of being locked in a dark shed with my feet stuck in cement, to hanging on a telephone wire out in the middle of the desert.....or my most recent favorite, in a small boat out in the ocean with a small leak. My most immediate need, if I can't properly plug the leak, is to start throwing things overboard that I find I can live without. Of course in my mind, those things can be people, things, attitudes, behaviors....etc....that I have held onto for years and is starting to weigh me down. And of course weigh me down SO much that I am starting to sink. I either hang on to these things, or I save myself and start tossing things out.
I realize to many this may sound silly, or you believe there are better ways in which to cope with everyday little problems. But for me, I see it as a God given gift that helps me connect with my true feelings about self, others as well as the world around me. It reminds me of how He sees the world and how He doesn't want us to be weighed down with things that steal our happiness, peace and joy in life. I can pray that those things be taken away....those seemingly aggravating situations, big or small.......but then I won't have had the opportunity to dig a little deeper and learn the big lessons in life. The "what really matters" lessons.
Of course my challenge, keeping with the tone of the previous blog about the weave of life, and how to start visualizing how you see yourself in the world. is to step away from the "checking out of reality" scene that the beach brings, and really picturing yourself according to what your physical self experiences at any given moment. For instance.....you woke up with a headache, slept through your alarm for work, ran out of shampoo, and now your car won't start. I know.....a doozy of a morning. But for me, I see myself locked in a closet, naked and covered with soap suds, with no one even remotely closeby to answer my screams for help. In other words completely and totally helpless, with seemingly no way out.......the key word being helpless.
So for a moment I have taken time to connect my gut feelings of helplessness, to hopefully a way in which to find a way out of my predicament. Of course the end result will be not that I have a headache and late for work, but how I decide to be with all of that and not lose my mind, or turn it into a situation where I beat myself up for essentially being in the midst of things that simply go wrong in life....period.
Of course the worse case scenario in this situation, is getting fired for being late. The other things like a headache, running out of shampoo or a car not starting is just stuff........you know the "if it's not one thing it's another syndrome." Just the wheels of life moving along as they see fit. So back to the closet scene. The goal here is to accurately connect with the feelings of helplessness, where if you are feeling helpless in one area of your life, your likely to feel it in another. That can come later. But for now......you're in the closet.....you don't like the feeling obviously or what else it brings up about your life.......the trick is.......how to let go of that helplessness so you can simply get back to life and correct those things that are immediately wrong. Bottom line....you want to.....need to get to work, so some things will have to take place in order for that to happen, and focusing on your helplessness won't accomplish much.
And obviously, this is not really about having a headache, running out of shampoo, or being late for work, but being able to connect the dots from the situation at hand, to some really hard core feelings and emotions that it brings up about you and your life. Whew.........talk about going around to the back door to make a point. Well.....sometimes it takes as long as it takes.....but I eventually get there.
Since I learned to do this in my own life, I have gone from visions of being locked in a dark shed with my feet stuck in cement, to hanging on a telephone wire out in the middle of the desert.....or my most recent favorite, in a small boat out in the ocean with a small leak. My most immediate need, if I can't properly plug the leak, is to start throwing things overboard that I find I can live without. Of course in my mind, those things can be people, things, attitudes, behaviors....etc....that I have held onto for years and is starting to weigh me down. And of course weigh me down SO much that I am starting to sink. I either hang on to these things, or I save myself and start tossing things out.
I realize to many this may sound silly, or you believe there are better ways in which to cope with everyday little problems. But for me, I see it as a God given gift that helps me connect with my true feelings about self, others as well as the world around me. It reminds me of how He sees the world and how He doesn't want us to be weighed down with things that steal our happiness, peace and joy in life. I can pray that those things be taken away....those seemingly aggravating situations, big or small.......but then I won't have had the opportunity to dig a little deeper and learn the big lessons in life. The "what really matters" lessons.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Intricate Weave of Life
Ah yes.....when your mind ponders on the why's, what if's, should haves, or could haves, where do you find the answers? It's not as easy as going to the bookshelf and pulling down the Webster, flipping through the pages in search of a word you came across that you didn't fully understand, though it sure would be nice if it were. Though I suppose we could investigate the word weave, especially since that seems to stick in my mind lately. Like a song you keep singing or humming, but don't know why you can't get it out of your mind. So let's go to the Webster. Weave.........to construct in the mind or imagination....to make ones way....to be interlaced or intertwined. Of course you would find the literal definition....the interlacing of threads and yarns.....but I of course like to go further down the page to find the figurative meaning......that's the way I work....no apologizing, just plain fact.
I believe that God meant for us to dig deep and find meaning in life.....every aspect of life. Who knows....maybe I have too much time on my hands, or maybe it's my lifes work. I remember thinking as a child that in my adult years, I would be surrounded by books, words, colors, and patterns. But would also be dealing with the mind in some way........so I suppose thats what I'm doing in a sense. It's just not your typical everyday job with a desk and name on the door.....which I love. Who wants to be normal and everyday?
So we see that I don't have a problem with expressing myself through words, and of course you become what you read, so where does color and pattern come into play? Well...I do paint and draw, design cards, color in my Mandala book, which has beautiful drawings that you fill in with color, that allows you to slow down and meditate while you're discovering how all the colors interact and come together to make a beautiful picture. It's really amazing how it works, and I highly recommend for anyone who would love to learn how to be still and quiet, play with color and patterns, and just do something different and fun for a change. It also helps you get in touch with the child within you, for we all colored as a child, and this allows you to tap into that, which is very healthy for all of us. There are several books to choose from, and the best markers are Tombow markers, which you can find at Michaels or Dick Blick art supplies online. You can try other markers...but these you will absolutely love. So thats my plug for the day.
Now....stay with me on this. Along with the weaving color, patterns, drawing, etc, comes the most amazing part of the weave of life theory. It opens the door to a life of visualization. OK...so let's go to Webster again. I love this. Visualization....to form a mental picture. Now believe it or not...you would be surprised at how many people have never done this, nor do they understand how easy it is, nor how beneficial it can be to their everyday life. So if you've stuck with me this far, then you can maybe create a picture in your mind of how all of this comes together and forms an intricate weave of life. I know....it takes me a while. But this was a process for me, and will be for you as well....so it's well worth the time and effort to learn how to do.
In short.....in order to go deeper, or find more meaning and understanding of life, it helps to have a way in which to do that, so that you don't walk around just wondering what the heck is going on with your life.....but the meaning behind it. Is that important for us to know........well it's not so much about knowing....because none of us have a crystal ball.......though it wakes us up to the process.....being in the process of life and soaking up every moment that we can while we're here.
When you have too much, or you feel too much is going on in your life, that goes beyond the bizzare or any understanding at all, I believe God gave us ways in which to cope, and this weave of life is my way of coping in the midst of things in my life that just cannot be understood any other way. We are all in search of happiness, joy, meaning, understanding, and contenment in life, but looking in the wrong place and have no clue how easy it is to find. Am I saying all you have to do is buy a coloring book? No....but it could spark something most definitely, which in turn could bring understanding about another area of your life.
So......the weave of life and visualizing the weave of life. What does that mean? Well..oddly enough, I'm not going to finish explaining what that means. I'm going to allow for some space here for you to ponder. Think about the terms I've used here, and see what comes up for you. You either want to find deeper meaning, or you don't. It's your choice. But you won't be sorry if you at least dip your toe in the water.
I believe that God meant for us to dig deep and find meaning in life.....every aspect of life. Who knows....maybe I have too much time on my hands, or maybe it's my lifes work. I remember thinking as a child that in my adult years, I would be surrounded by books, words, colors, and patterns. But would also be dealing with the mind in some way........so I suppose thats what I'm doing in a sense. It's just not your typical everyday job with a desk and name on the door.....which I love. Who wants to be normal and everyday?
So we see that I don't have a problem with expressing myself through words, and of course you become what you read, so where does color and pattern come into play? Well...I do paint and draw, design cards, color in my Mandala book, which has beautiful drawings that you fill in with color, that allows you to slow down and meditate while you're discovering how all the colors interact and come together to make a beautiful picture. It's really amazing how it works, and I highly recommend for anyone who would love to learn how to be still and quiet, play with color and patterns, and just do something different and fun for a change. It also helps you get in touch with the child within you, for we all colored as a child, and this allows you to tap into that, which is very healthy for all of us. There are several books to choose from, and the best markers are Tombow markers, which you can find at Michaels or Dick Blick art supplies online. You can try other markers...but these you will absolutely love. So thats my plug for the day.
Now....stay with me on this. Along with the weaving color, patterns, drawing, etc, comes the most amazing part of the weave of life theory. It opens the door to a life of visualization. OK...so let's go to Webster again. I love this. Visualization....to form a mental picture. Now believe it or not...you would be surprised at how many people have never done this, nor do they understand how easy it is, nor how beneficial it can be to their everyday life. So if you've stuck with me this far, then you can maybe create a picture in your mind of how all of this comes together and forms an intricate weave of life. I know....it takes me a while. But this was a process for me, and will be for you as well....so it's well worth the time and effort to learn how to do.
In short.....in order to go deeper, or find more meaning and understanding of life, it helps to have a way in which to do that, so that you don't walk around just wondering what the heck is going on with your life.....but the meaning behind it. Is that important for us to know........well it's not so much about knowing....because none of us have a crystal ball.......though it wakes us up to the process.....being in the process of life and soaking up every moment that we can while we're here.
When you have too much, or you feel too much is going on in your life, that goes beyond the bizzare or any understanding at all, I believe God gave us ways in which to cope, and this weave of life is my way of coping in the midst of things in my life that just cannot be understood any other way. We are all in search of happiness, joy, meaning, understanding, and contenment in life, but looking in the wrong place and have no clue how easy it is to find. Am I saying all you have to do is buy a coloring book? No....but it could spark something most definitely, which in turn could bring understanding about another area of your life.
So......the weave of life and visualizing the weave of life. What does that mean? Well..oddly enough, I'm not going to finish explaining what that means. I'm going to allow for some space here for you to ponder. Think about the terms I've used here, and see what comes up for you. You either want to find deeper meaning, or you don't. It's your choice. But you won't be sorry if you at least dip your toe in the water.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
And Yet Another Day
As you can see, it's been a while since I've blogged. Life simply sent me a curve ball that required me to step away from my normal routine, think about my life, change and rearrange........ just like deciding that your life might be a bit more interesting and fun if you moved the living room furniture around. I know, maybe a silly analogy, but that's what I do. I use things, people, and situations to help express my thoughts and feelings. Makes them more real, and for the reader, it hopefully creates a palette where colors sort of come together to make a picture. I love that.
I think sometimes it is so very difficult to express to someone how you are really feeling about your life. What works, what doesn't, what hurts, what is overwhelmingly sad or happy, etc.....with knowing one thing.....you want to be known. You wake up, look around, take a deep breath, maybe smell the coffee brewing that you set up the night before, feel a nice cool breeze brush against your skin from an opened window, or notice your dog or cat stretching at your feet, where they'd been curled up all night......and then realize it's yet another day, and what will it bring. You hope that it will be filled with good things, happy moments, some good news, something that will make you feel at ease and at peace......but then you realize that you may have to endure something that is very painful and overwhelmingly sad as well.
The good things are easy to take in.....they offer freedom and an openness to fully experience life with peace and no fear. But the not so good things make us want to withdraw, pull the covers over our head and hope the alarm doesn't go off for another ten years. We rub our heads, curls our toes, and pray that somehow the strength and courage will be available to us before we ease out of bed......maybe realizing that we are not alone. There are in fact millions of people who are experiencing the same feelings, and actually experiencing things that we cannot even imagine having to go through......and then of course we remember they are in fact people who are close to our hearts.
Yes....a doze of reality as well as a different perspective in knowing that whatever it is we are going through....bad or good....that ours thoughts and feelings about life, ourselves, those around us, are felt, and felt deeply, and should be shared with someone. How else can we be known for who we are, and how we are experiencing our lives, or if we have something to offer someone else, unless we verbalize our thoughts. I want to be known, as well as fully know those around me and how they are really feeling at any given moment, especially if it's something painful and they simply need a witness to their pain. And as well......a moment of joy, that is simply magical and overwhelming......that could possibly bring a smile or joy to someone elses life for just a moment.......how could I or why would I not want to share that?
So.....see if you can open yourself up today and share something that is deeply felt, and you may be surprised to see that even if this is yet another day.....it is your day and worth sharing.
I think sometimes it is so very difficult to express to someone how you are really feeling about your life. What works, what doesn't, what hurts, what is overwhelmingly sad or happy, etc.....with knowing one thing.....you want to be known. You wake up, look around, take a deep breath, maybe smell the coffee brewing that you set up the night before, feel a nice cool breeze brush against your skin from an opened window, or notice your dog or cat stretching at your feet, where they'd been curled up all night......and then realize it's yet another day, and what will it bring. You hope that it will be filled with good things, happy moments, some good news, something that will make you feel at ease and at peace......but then you realize that you may have to endure something that is very painful and overwhelmingly sad as well.
The good things are easy to take in.....they offer freedom and an openness to fully experience life with peace and no fear. But the not so good things make us want to withdraw, pull the covers over our head and hope the alarm doesn't go off for another ten years. We rub our heads, curls our toes, and pray that somehow the strength and courage will be available to us before we ease out of bed......maybe realizing that we are not alone. There are in fact millions of people who are experiencing the same feelings, and actually experiencing things that we cannot even imagine having to go through......and then of course we remember they are in fact people who are close to our hearts.
Yes....a doze of reality as well as a different perspective in knowing that whatever it is we are going through....bad or good....that ours thoughts and feelings about life, ourselves, those around us, are felt, and felt deeply, and should be shared with someone. How else can we be known for who we are, and how we are experiencing our lives, or if we have something to offer someone else, unless we verbalize our thoughts. I want to be known, as well as fully know those around me and how they are really feeling at any given moment, especially if it's something painful and they simply need a witness to their pain. And as well......a moment of joy, that is simply magical and overwhelming......that could possibly bring a smile or joy to someone elses life for just a moment.......how could I or why would I not want to share that?
So.....see if you can open yourself up today and share something that is deeply felt, and you may be surprised to see that even if this is yet another day.....it is your day and worth sharing.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Finding moments of pure joy and peace
Do you ever experience moments where you felt true peace and joy? For me it's like a swirl of energy above my head, as if God is trying to download something....something very profound. Well....when you think about it, we are very similar to computers, with our outlets of mind, sight, hearing, feelings, that are constantly downloading information each day. Nowadays some of us crash, some of us start spinning like a computer being asked to multitask, with no capability, until we have no choice but to stop and wait until it slows down, gets it's little info bits lined up and in order so it can offer whatever it is we asked for. I think it's so interesting that we can demand and expect so much from a computer......and that despite our believing we could never live without one, we did in fact live without them not so long ago. Granted my computer offers me the ability to help others, connect with others, and hopefully come away with having done something that made a difference in the world...........I still believe the simplicity of life that was experienced when I was growing up is hardly available to anyone nowadays. Unless of course you search for that deeper meaning within yourself and find it. Oh it's still there.....just tucked away safely waiting to be pulled out and experienced. I suppose the problem is that we don't realize that we must choose simplicity. And of course when we do, then the moments of pure joy and peace come more often to our doorstep.
When I experience those passing moments of peace and joy, it's like catching a firefly.......oh ......wait....here it comes again......ok.....hangon.....hangon.....get the hands cupped and ready.....almost........gotcha! Then you watch it glow inside your hands for a few minutes, and then realize.....you must let it go. It was fun catching it, watching it glow, watching and wondering.....now how does he make that tail glow?.........but then you know if you don't let it go....it will die. So you open your hands and gently release it into the air and it flies away. Peace and joy are there.....you can experience anytime you like, but you have to stand still long enough to see that they are in fact there for the taking. You can't just sit around and wish that you would be lucky enough to experience it.....you just decide in your own mind what those things mean to you. What do they look like, feel like.......does something or someone bring with it peace and joy? Or, are you constantly in the expectation mode of thinking that someone owes you or you deserve them....thinking if you keep "trying" to find them....they will come. Oddly enough it's when you stop trying so hard and just allow them to land in your cupped hands.......so not such a hard task.
One thing I have learned most recently, is that peace and joy are gifts from God, freely available to me anytime I want them. Even if I think I don't deserve them, they are still available. I also realized that if I become a source for peace and joy for someone else in this world, then inturn it will come to me more often. We are such takers of this world and expect so much that it makes everything about us and want we want, need, get, or think we deserve, especially if we feel we've at some point been given the short end of the stick. So when we expect without giving, we are loosing our access to peace and joy, not understanding why it seems those around us have it......but we don't. Constantly asking ourselves, now I wonder why that person is so happy, content, and seems to be blessed and really enjoys their life, then most often again turning inward and feeling victimized or punished in some way.
We all want to be in control of our lives, pushing, expecting, demanding and constantly focused on the self. After all......everyone outside of us has fallen in place as far as what the world sees as normal. You are normal if you have this, wear that, and at least appear and act like anyone on television. I guess we don't realize whoever the man is inside the box at an given moment has control of our brains, and the download begins. I'm surprised there isn't a show called "If you want to be normal".....followed by a segment of downloading where all commercials that sell something that you don't need or can't afford are downloaded into your brain. Well who am I kidding......it goes on all day long.......doesn't need to be a specific show. Of course this is not about me bashing people who watch television, but again....there are choices to be made. This is another area of choice. You can choose to watch channels that are not trying to sell you something you don't need or can't afford but rather feed your mind and soul....give you something to think about other than spending money.
But I have gone astray with my thoughts about peace and joy.....but not too far. Maybe I should have titled this "Ten Ways to safely torch your computer and television". Well....maybe there can be some balance with those things, but seriously......wonder what would happen if you just took a half hour each day to get quiet and still and thought about how you could bring someone else in your life peace and joy? Just a half hour of not thinking about what you want, need or determined to get.......but to place those thoughts outward. As if you were more focused on catching the firefly for someone else to see instead of you catching it for yourself. At that moment you are opening the door to experience peace and joy.......and good grief.......who doesn't want to experience that? The trick is realizing that the world does not and never will revolve around you.....it was designed and set up by God for us to love......simply love.
So.....in keeping with my frequent challenges for the day.......I want to challenge you to stop and think outward when wondering where the peace and joy might be located this week. Repeat after me....it's not about me......it's not about me......it's not about me....and never was. There is no longer a need to TRY so hard to find them......they are floating around right in front of you......just stop and grab them.......you'll find they have a glow, will warm your heart, and you will want more than anything to release them so someone else can experience them as well. And just in case you're wondering........that is real love.
When I experience those passing moments of peace and joy, it's like catching a firefly.......oh ......wait....here it comes again......ok.....hangon.....hangon.....get the hands cupped and ready.....almost........gotcha! Then you watch it glow inside your hands for a few minutes, and then realize.....you must let it go. It was fun catching it, watching it glow, watching and wondering.....now how does he make that tail glow?.........but then you know if you don't let it go....it will die. So you open your hands and gently release it into the air and it flies away. Peace and joy are there.....you can experience anytime you like, but you have to stand still long enough to see that they are in fact there for the taking. You can't just sit around and wish that you would be lucky enough to experience it.....you just decide in your own mind what those things mean to you. What do they look like, feel like.......does something or someone bring with it peace and joy? Or, are you constantly in the expectation mode of thinking that someone owes you or you deserve them....thinking if you keep "trying" to find them....they will come. Oddly enough it's when you stop trying so hard and just allow them to land in your cupped hands.......so not such a hard task.
One thing I have learned most recently, is that peace and joy are gifts from God, freely available to me anytime I want them. Even if I think I don't deserve them, they are still available. I also realized that if I become a source for peace and joy for someone else in this world, then inturn it will come to me more often. We are such takers of this world and expect so much that it makes everything about us and want we want, need, get, or think we deserve, especially if we feel we've at some point been given the short end of the stick. So when we expect without giving, we are loosing our access to peace and joy, not understanding why it seems those around us have it......but we don't. Constantly asking ourselves, now I wonder why that person is so happy, content, and seems to be blessed and really enjoys their life, then most often again turning inward and feeling victimized or punished in some way.
We all want to be in control of our lives, pushing, expecting, demanding and constantly focused on the self. After all......everyone outside of us has fallen in place as far as what the world sees as normal. You are normal if you have this, wear that, and at least appear and act like anyone on television. I guess we don't realize whoever the man is inside the box at an given moment has control of our brains, and the download begins. I'm surprised there isn't a show called "If you want to be normal".....followed by a segment of downloading where all commercials that sell something that you don't need or can't afford are downloaded into your brain. Well who am I kidding......it goes on all day long.......doesn't need to be a specific show. Of course this is not about me bashing people who watch television, but again....there are choices to be made. This is another area of choice. You can choose to watch channels that are not trying to sell you something you don't need or can't afford but rather feed your mind and soul....give you something to think about other than spending money.
But I have gone astray with my thoughts about peace and joy.....but not too far. Maybe I should have titled this "Ten Ways to safely torch your computer and television". Well....maybe there can be some balance with those things, but seriously......wonder what would happen if you just took a half hour each day to get quiet and still and thought about how you could bring someone else in your life peace and joy? Just a half hour of not thinking about what you want, need or determined to get.......but to place those thoughts outward. As if you were more focused on catching the firefly for someone else to see instead of you catching it for yourself. At that moment you are opening the door to experience peace and joy.......and good grief.......who doesn't want to experience that? The trick is realizing that the world does not and never will revolve around you.....it was designed and set up by God for us to love......simply love.
So.....in keeping with my frequent challenges for the day.......I want to challenge you to stop and think outward when wondering where the peace and joy might be located this week. Repeat after me....it's not about me......it's not about me......it's not about me....and never was. There is no longer a need to TRY so hard to find them......they are floating around right in front of you......just stop and grab them.......you'll find they have a glow, will warm your heart, and you will want more than anything to release them so someone else can experience them as well. And just in case you're wondering........that is real love.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Are We Ever Really Satisfied?
The answer to that question is probably no. Even when we have thought, prayed for, wished for, or pondered about, and even received the thing we most wanted......still......it's not enough. I think it's because we are convinced that if we get this particular thing......then everything in life will fall into place.......our perfect world will materialize and ultimately make us dileriously happy and content. And of course when we wake up and realize......well...that didn't work out the way I thought it would......disappointment sets in, with ourselves and even with those around us. Isn't it interesting that it's most often someone elses fault that you are not where you want to be in life, or have the things you think you deserve. That if only that person would have done this, said that, changed into something that you expected or needed, you would be sitting happy right now. Well.....I'll let you sit with that for a few minutes....see what comes up.
Let me ask you this. When was the last time you wanted something really badly, so much that it became your daily focus......waking up with it.....going to sleep with it on your mind, completely convinced that if you got it, then you would be satisfied? I would venture to say you were able to zero right in on that one thing...right? You thought about it, and are probably most likely sitting right in the midst of the thing you wanted the most. So as you continue to sit in the midst, does it look like the picture you had in your mind? Exactly, somewhat, sort of ,but lacking.....absolutely nothing like I expected? Does the situation involve another person?
Well......it most likely does involve another person, because it's so easy for us to point the finger outward when searching for reasons why something didn't work out the way we imagined. We never stop to think that maybe our expectations are way too high, for others, as well as ourselves. If something doesn't work out, it's so much easier to look out, instead of in, to find answers. Now if you hoped for, wished for, prayed for, and actually received your one thing, and are completely satisfied with whoever or whatever it was, and can fully except whatever came with it .........that's great. You have much to be thankful for. However........if you have received, but left wondering......what was I thinking, or if I had it to do over, or this picture does not even resemble what was in my mind when I was so focused on "getting"..........then you have a dilemma of sorts.
First up......for me....a dilemma is not a bad thing. It just means you've reached a crossroads, and need to take a few minutes or longer to see if you need to continue down the same road.....or change directions. I know.....the word change. People hate that word so much, mainly because the moment you read it or hear it, you realize....uh.oh.......this is going to require me to DO something. Are we all so complacent in this life that we can't simply consider that another plan might help eliviate something thats weighing us down? If something in our lives is causing stress, either emotionally or physically, then it's a sure sign that we need to stop and see what's really going on.....and hopefully have the courage to make adjustments.
And yes, adjustments will require something......but hopefully you can see that as a good thing.....something that has the potential to free you up in some way, take the weight off, eleviate the stress you're under. It's either that, or continue to stand in the middle of the crossroads, blindfolded, unwilling to see this whole process of what was planned or hoped for, what was expected, what didn't work out, and ultimately what needs to change........and in a way where there is no pointing the finger outward or bashing ourselves. Looking back at our decisions does not have to involve pulling the 2x4's out of the closet, to spend our free time beating ourselves up. The benefit of looking back, will allow us to see what our goals were at one time, basing those goals on what your situation was at that time. There is no way to foretell what may or may not happen in the future.....so you always have to allow yourself some room for things to change...good or bad.
People seem to think that if things don't turn out the way they planned, that means they made a terrible, unwise decision......and granted there probably are times when decisions are made hastily, or made with having unrealisitic expectations of yourself and others.......but even if that were the case.......thats why it's so important to allow a certain amount of give(i.e. flexibility), in your life. Or rather learn to yield, which requires a giving up under pressure or surrendering to something. Uh oh........theres that word again.......requires. Well, if I told you that if you did in fact learn to be more flexible, yielding, patient, and study deligently the word surrender, that you would experience more peace and joy....would that make a difference? Would it be worth the "requirements" that are needed in order to make your picture more pleasing, and your life more content?
I mean honestly.....what other choice do you have? Theres has to be a time when we are just satisfied with where we are, especially when we look back and remember.....oh yes....I did want that, hope for that, pray for that and actually got it. And now here I sit, confused, disappointed, wanting the next thing that you think will make you satisfied. If you are not satisfied with how things turned out, and adjustments need to be made.......do yourself a favor........make them. We aren't talking rocket science here, and the world will not come to an end if you have to give up something in order to make your life a bit more managable......especially if you are experiencing physical cues that the body is breaking down. Like the light that goes off in your car that tells you maintenance is needed....something needs to be checked, changed, attended to, replaced....whatever. God did not give us these bodies to run marathons.....well unless we are marathon runners and are in constant training and our bodies can withstand the pressure, and even then the bones can only take so much before they give. Hey.....we are all individually made....some of us are stronger than others, and some can deal with stress better, but we all really know what sort of body we have....so do what it's telling you to do.
Be thankful for where you are today, and how you truly are living with some of the things you prayed for in the past......and if you know in your gut that some changes need to take place, some things need to be said, or some truths need to be revealed......even if just to yourself... or something needs to be let go of in order to cope and live with less stress...........just do it. Life is too short to spend time grieving over what you didn't get, or grieving over what might or might not come, or bashing someone else for why you're not satisfied in this life. So take off the blindfold now, and see what seems possible........ embrace the ability and freedom to make changes in your life, if and where they're needed. And for heavens sake.....ease up on the person who you think is responsible for everything that is not quite right in your life.They are most likely the person you prayed for and received.
Let me ask you this. When was the last time you wanted something really badly, so much that it became your daily focus......waking up with it.....going to sleep with it on your mind, completely convinced that if you got it, then you would be satisfied? I would venture to say you were able to zero right in on that one thing...right? You thought about it, and are probably most likely sitting right in the midst of the thing you wanted the most. So as you continue to sit in the midst, does it look like the picture you had in your mind? Exactly, somewhat, sort of ,but lacking.....absolutely nothing like I expected? Does the situation involve another person?
Well......it most likely does involve another person, because it's so easy for us to point the finger outward when searching for reasons why something didn't work out the way we imagined. We never stop to think that maybe our expectations are way too high, for others, as well as ourselves. If something doesn't work out, it's so much easier to look out, instead of in, to find answers. Now if you hoped for, wished for, prayed for, and actually received your one thing, and are completely satisfied with whoever or whatever it was, and can fully except whatever came with it .........that's great. You have much to be thankful for. However........if you have received, but left wondering......what was I thinking, or if I had it to do over, or this picture does not even resemble what was in my mind when I was so focused on "getting"..........then you have a dilemma of sorts.
First up......for me....a dilemma is not a bad thing. It just means you've reached a crossroads, and need to take a few minutes or longer to see if you need to continue down the same road.....or change directions. I know.....the word change. People hate that word so much, mainly because the moment you read it or hear it, you realize....uh.oh.......this is going to require me to DO something. Are we all so complacent in this life that we can't simply consider that another plan might help eliviate something thats weighing us down? If something in our lives is causing stress, either emotionally or physically, then it's a sure sign that we need to stop and see what's really going on.....and hopefully have the courage to make adjustments.
And yes, adjustments will require something......but hopefully you can see that as a good thing.....something that has the potential to free you up in some way, take the weight off, eleviate the stress you're under. It's either that, or continue to stand in the middle of the crossroads, blindfolded, unwilling to see this whole process of what was planned or hoped for, what was expected, what didn't work out, and ultimately what needs to change........and in a way where there is no pointing the finger outward or bashing ourselves. Looking back at our decisions does not have to involve pulling the 2x4's out of the closet, to spend our free time beating ourselves up. The benefit of looking back, will allow us to see what our goals were at one time, basing those goals on what your situation was at that time. There is no way to foretell what may or may not happen in the future.....so you always have to allow yourself some room for things to change...good or bad.
People seem to think that if things don't turn out the way they planned, that means they made a terrible, unwise decision......and granted there probably are times when decisions are made hastily, or made with having unrealisitic expectations of yourself and others.......but even if that were the case.......thats why it's so important to allow a certain amount of give(i.e. flexibility), in your life. Or rather learn to yield, which requires a giving up under pressure or surrendering to something. Uh oh........theres that word again.......requires. Well, if I told you that if you did in fact learn to be more flexible, yielding, patient, and study deligently the word surrender, that you would experience more peace and joy....would that make a difference? Would it be worth the "requirements" that are needed in order to make your picture more pleasing, and your life more content?
I mean honestly.....what other choice do you have? Theres has to be a time when we are just satisfied with where we are, especially when we look back and remember.....oh yes....I did want that, hope for that, pray for that and actually got it. And now here I sit, confused, disappointed, wanting the next thing that you think will make you satisfied. If you are not satisfied with how things turned out, and adjustments need to be made.......do yourself a favor........make them. We aren't talking rocket science here, and the world will not come to an end if you have to give up something in order to make your life a bit more managable......especially if you are experiencing physical cues that the body is breaking down. Like the light that goes off in your car that tells you maintenance is needed....something needs to be checked, changed, attended to, replaced....whatever. God did not give us these bodies to run marathons.....well unless we are marathon runners and are in constant training and our bodies can withstand the pressure, and even then the bones can only take so much before they give. Hey.....we are all individually made....some of us are stronger than others, and some can deal with stress better, but we all really know what sort of body we have....so do what it's telling you to do.
Be thankful for where you are today, and how you truly are living with some of the things you prayed for in the past......and if you know in your gut that some changes need to take place, some things need to be said, or some truths need to be revealed......even if just to yourself... or something needs to be let go of in order to cope and live with less stress...........just do it. Life is too short to spend time grieving over what you didn't get, or grieving over what might or might not come, or bashing someone else for why you're not satisfied in this life. So take off the blindfold now, and see what seems possible........ embrace the ability and freedom to make changes in your life, if and where they're needed. And for heavens sake.....ease up on the person who you think is responsible for everything that is not quite right in your life.They are most likely the person you prayed for and received.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Let's Talk About Anger
I don't know about you, but I could get a fairly good list going of things I'd like to kick up the dust about today. Most of the time, I'm able to handle whatever the issue might be, and after a few minutes transform it into something more manageable........though today has not been one of those days. Most often these days arise because I've not been taking care of myself in some way, or either expecting too much, or not able to let go of something because I'm hanging on for dear life, hell bent on not yielding to something that is destined to change in my life whether I like it or not. Sort of like pressing the floor with your foot in the passenger seat, hoping that the driver will slow down or stop. You can press that foot clear through the floor, and if the driver wants to slow down, they will slow down......but you're pretty much at the mercy of whoever's driving....period.
Now I was hoping that this new year would bring only good things, because the last year has been rough, to say the least......emotionally, physically, financially....etc.....but so far it's felt like I've been tied to the bumper of a truck, and dragged across a cobblestone road naked. Not a pretty sight I assure you, and about as painful as you can imagine, nevertheless.....thats what it felt like, and doesn't look like it's easing up anytime soon. Now granted most of my rough stuff is physical, but honestly it doesn't really matter whether you have physical or emotional challenges that weigh you down.......the frustration is the same.
The question is of course.....what do you do with your anger? And don't tell me you don't have any, because I won't believe you. Everyone has stuff they're dealing with at some level. Either something they want to say to someone but feel they can't, something they want to change, but feel they can't........in other words....your freedom to express has been stifled, squashed, disabled.....and we all want to be understood or express what we're truly feeling. Suppose you've been treated unfairly about something, or someone has said something about you that is not true, or you've made a decision lately that you believe you must have made while jumping out of an airplane or high on cocktails......and now you're paying for it dearly. Maybe it was a decision made to keep someone else happy, or to give them what they want, as opposed to you doing what was right for yourself.
Realizations such as these are hard to look at head on, because it reminds you that you clearly were not basing your decisions on truth or reality. You know.......that little voice inside your head that says......well shoot......I'm gonna just jump and hope for the best.....besides I'm doing this to make someone else happy, so it can't be wrong can it? Hmmmm.....well....I'll let you answer that one.
I think most of the time we are more angry with ourselves than with other people. Sure you can point the finger, finding good reason why you've ended up in a spot you thought you would never end up in, so it must have been someone who pushed you, coherced you, nagged you, etc, until you just gave in and said yes to whatever they wanted. So yes....they got what they wanted.....YAHOO.....good for them.......but what happens to you? What kept us from stepping back and looking clearly at what making that decision would mean to YOUR life? All well intended because we want to love, nuture, and give out of kindness and devotion..........but there has to be a way in which to give without losing yourself completely, where your life becomes all about the other person, and there is nothing left to identify you. You've sort of blended into the woodwork, until one day you wake up and realize..........what happen to me?
You wonder what happened to those things that nurtured you, that fed your soul, that comforted you, that kept you grounded and balanced in life....etc. They've quickly been molded, without you knowing it, into something that you cannot even relate to any longer. And then uh oh..........you wake up one morning and realize........who is that person in the mirror.......it's not me.
Then the anger sets in. Yeh.....I'm talking to you. The one who thinks whatever it is that's bothering them will just slip out the back door, leaving you alone with a glorious sense of peace and joy. Well.....if you've got one of those minds that can do that....go for it. Tell me later how that's working for you. However..........
If your ears are perked up about right now, and as you continue to read these words, that "something" is beginning to swell up in your gut.....that little gnawing that won't go away no matter what you try.......well...then maybe you're ready to go to work and see where you can park that anger that will invariably start affecting those around you unless you do something about it.
First of all.....take a deep breathe.........there.......take another one. You realize part of the problem is the fact that you are NOT breathing......so all that stuff that sort of nags at you can't get out properly. Now get your mind focused on what you believe is in your gut right now. You can make a list of piddling things, but more than likely there is something at the core. The one thing that if you stop and look at will only reveal the truth of your anger. Maybe you're one of these people who believe you should never get angry......that it doesn't say much about your character if you submit to it, so you decide the best way is to find a place to store it inside that crafty little head of yours. Maybe nothing ever bothers you......you're just a balanced, stable sort of person who has a glorious life where everything falls right into place..........yeh right.......if thats the case...please pass on your phone number so I can get some pointers. I must be doing something wrong.
OK......so from your list.....what did you come up with? Were they things like, there is never enough money, my spouse drives me nuts or just doesn't do what I want them to do, my body is falling apart, I hate my job, I don't believe anyone truly understands me....or this is not what I thought my life was going to look like at age _____. I'm probably pretty close, or there may be some heavier things on the list that you are not ready to address right now.......or sort of nag you.....but not enough to do anything about.
So...after looking at your list, are your eyes drawn to one thing that really stands out.......one thing that really gives your gut a twinge? There are no right or wrong answers here.....and there's no one standing over your shoulder right now.....so it's ok to sit with it for a few minutes. What's on your list that has the potential to become lethal and could get blown way out of proportion if it's not addressed now? What will it do much later, if you don't fess up to it now? What are you likely to lose if you don't first recognize it, and then say it outloud either to yourself, or to someone around you? And we can be talking about the smallest little thing, to something that you know if you open your mouth, you'll be destroyed.
Maybe you just need to say something outloud to someone, recognizing the risk, but knowing that if you don't, it will nag you till the day you die. Whatever it is, and I think you know by now what it is......the one core thing that needs to be addressed.....but you are choosing to ignore it. The one thing that just keeps you on the edge of anger.....each day that passes you think will just float away, but it never does.
So what do you do with it? Where can you stash it so it won't show? What happens to any peace or joy you could have while you're here if you choose to hang onto it? What happens to you and the sort of person you really wanted to be, or the sort of life you wanted to live, but somehow got lost?
Sounds like a disappointment more than an anger blog right? Well....I think anger can most often follow disappointment. Things just didn't turn out the way you thought they were going to......and when you look in the mirror....you have no clue as to who you're looking at anymore. Cause for anger? Absolutely.........and if it brings any peace at all, just remember......most all of us go through moments like this, you just don't know about them. Most often the disappointment is kept at bay, because we don't want people to think we can't control what goes on in our lives.......but then our lip starts to gnarl up, we start gritting our teeth, the muscles in our neck stiffen up, then you notice you're getting an edge........your gut starts to swell up, and then BAM.
So whatever IT is......whatever you came up with on your list and whatever you zeroed in on ........go with it. See where it goes.....I promise you won't self destruct if you do. Real truth....honest, gut level truth allows a shift to occur, which opens the door for change. So if you want something to be different in your life, don't wait for the other person to magically change into who you need them to be, or the perfect situation to come along because you think you deserve it.......look in the mirror.......see if there is some anger about something. Or if you want to call it something else then thats fine. No matter what you call it......anger, resentment, bitterness, loss, rejection, frustration, sadness.........whatever.....look at it for once.
It's ok to be angry......furious....kick up a fuss, wail, rant and rave, throw stuff, hit stuff, yell, scream, whatever you've mind to do.......let her rip. You probably have good reason and no one would think the less of you if you threw a fit right in front of them. Hey....if you need a witness......get one. Just don't hold it in anymore......serves no purpose and will only fester and get worse.
I hope when you look in the mirror tomorrow morning......you'll begin to see more of yourself again.
Now I was hoping that this new year would bring only good things, because the last year has been rough, to say the least......emotionally, physically, financially....etc.....but so far it's felt like I've been tied to the bumper of a truck, and dragged across a cobblestone road naked. Not a pretty sight I assure you, and about as painful as you can imagine, nevertheless.....thats what it felt like, and doesn't look like it's easing up anytime soon. Now granted most of my rough stuff is physical, but honestly it doesn't really matter whether you have physical or emotional challenges that weigh you down.......the frustration is the same.
The question is of course.....what do you do with your anger? And don't tell me you don't have any, because I won't believe you. Everyone has stuff they're dealing with at some level. Either something they want to say to someone but feel they can't, something they want to change, but feel they can't........in other words....your freedom to express has been stifled, squashed, disabled.....and we all want to be understood or express what we're truly feeling. Suppose you've been treated unfairly about something, or someone has said something about you that is not true, or you've made a decision lately that you believe you must have made while jumping out of an airplane or high on cocktails......and now you're paying for it dearly. Maybe it was a decision made to keep someone else happy, or to give them what they want, as opposed to you doing what was right for yourself.
Realizations such as these are hard to look at head on, because it reminds you that you clearly were not basing your decisions on truth or reality. You know.......that little voice inside your head that says......well shoot......I'm gonna just jump and hope for the best.....besides I'm doing this to make someone else happy, so it can't be wrong can it? Hmmmm.....well....I'll let you answer that one.
I think most of the time we are more angry with ourselves than with other people. Sure you can point the finger, finding good reason why you've ended up in a spot you thought you would never end up in, so it must have been someone who pushed you, coherced you, nagged you, etc, until you just gave in and said yes to whatever they wanted. So yes....they got what they wanted.....YAHOO.....good for them.......but what happens to you? What kept us from stepping back and looking clearly at what making that decision would mean to YOUR life? All well intended because we want to love, nuture, and give out of kindness and devotion..........but there has to be a way in which to give without losing yourself completely, where your life becomes all about the other person, and there is nothing left to identify you. You've sort of blended into the woodwork, until one day you wake up and realize..........what happen to me?
You wonder what happened to those things that nurtured you, that fed your soul, that comforted you, that kept you grounded and balanced in life....etc. They've quickly been molded, without you knowing it, into something that you cannot even relate to any longer. And then uh oh..........you wake up one morning and realize........who is that person in the mirror.......it's not me.
Then the anger sets in. Yeh.....I'm talking to you. The one who thinks whatever it is that's bothering them will just slip out the back door, leaving you alone with a glorious sense of peace and joy. Well.....if you've got one of those minds that can do that....go for it. Tell me later how that's working for you. However..........
If your ears are perked up about right now, and as you continue to read these words, that "something" is beginning to swell up in your gut.....that little gnawing that won't go away no matter what you try.......well...then maybe you're ready to go to work and see where you can park that anger that will invariably start affecting those around you unless you do something about it.
First of all.....take a deep breathe.........there.......take another one. You realize part of the problem is the fact that you are NOT breathing......so all that stuff that sort of nags at you can't get out properly. Now get your mind focused on what you believe is in your gut right now. You can make a list of piddling things, but more than likely there is something at the core. The one thing that if you stop and look at will only reveal the truth of your anger. Maybe you're one of these people who believe you should never get angry......that it doesn't say much about your character if you submit to it, so you decide the best way is to find a place to store it inside that crafty little head of yours. Maybe nothing ever bothers you......you're just a balanced, stable sort of person who has a glorious life where everything falls right into place..........yeh right.......if thats the case...please pass on your phone number so I can get some pointers. I must be doing something wrong.
OK......so from your list.....what did you come up with? Were they things like, there is never enough money, my spouse drives me nuts or just doesn't do what I want them to do, my body is falling apart, I hate my job, I don't believe anyone truly understands me....or this is not what I thought my life was going to look like at age _____. I'm probably pretty close, or there may be some heavier things on the list that you are not ready to address right now.......or sort of nag you.....but not enough to do anything about.
So...after looking at your list, are your eyes drawn to one thing that really stands out.......one thing that really gives your gut a twinge? There are no right or wrong answers here.....and there's no one standing over your shoulder right now.....so it's ok to sit with it for a few minutes. What's on your list that has the potential to become lethal and could get blown way out of proportion if it's not addressed now? What will it do much later, if you don't fess up to it now? What are you likely to lose if you don't first recognize it, and then say it outloud either to yourself, or to someone around you? And we can be talking about the smallest little thing, to something that you know if you open your mouth, you'll be destroyed.
Maybe you just need to say something outloud to someone, recognizing the risk, but knowing that if you don't, it will nag you till the day you die. Whatever it is, and I think you know by now what it is......the one core thing that needs to be addressed.....but you are choosing to ignore it. The one thing that just keeps you on the edge of anger.....each day that passes you think will just float away, but it never does.
So what do you do with it? Where can you stash it so it won't show? What happens to any peace or joy you could have while you're here if you choose to hang onto it? What happens to you and the sort of person you really wanted to be, or the sort of life you wanted to live, but somehow got lost?
Sounds like a disappointment more than an anger blog right? Well....I think anger can most often follow disappointment. Things just didn't turn out the way you thought they were going to......and when you look in the mirror....you have no clue as to who you're looking at anymore. Cause for anger? Absolutely.........and if it brings any peace at all, just remember......most all of us go through moments like this, you just don't know about them. Most often the disappointment is kept at bay, because we don't want people to think we can't control what goes on in our lives.......but then our lip starts to gnarl up, we start gritting our teeth, the muscles in our neck stiffen up, then you notice you're getting an edge........your gut starts to swell up, and then BAM.
So whatever IT is......whatever you came up with on your list and whatever you zeroed in on ........go with it. See where it goes.....I promise you won't self destruct if you do. Real truth....honest, gut level truth allows a shift to occur, which opens the door for change. So if you want something to be different in your life, don't wait for the other person to magically change into who you need them to be, or the perfect situation to come along because you think you deserve it.......look in the mirror.......see if there is some anger about something. Or if you want to call it something else then thats fine. No matter what you call it......anger, resentment, bitterness, loss, rejection, frustration, sadness.........whatever.....look at it for once.
It's ok to be angry......furious....kick up a fuss, wail, rant and rave, throw stuff, hit stuff, yell, scream, whatever you've mind to do.......let her rip. You probably have good reason and no one would think the less of you if you threw a fit right in front of them. Hey....if you need a witness......get one. Just don't hold it in anymore......serves no purpose and will only fester and get worse.
I hope when you look in the mirror tomorrow morning......you'll begin to see more of yourself again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)