We all understand what it means to nurture a child or a plant. Protecting both as they grow and mature, both needing certain things in order to survive, as well as things that will allow them to flourish. Sometimes they need very specific things in order to grow, like certain foods, sunshine, and protection from the elements in life. I believe we are all aware that if both are left alone and not attended to, would suffer in many ways, or sometimes die. They are pretty much dependent on outside help in order to survive.
Of course there are in fact basic needs that we require in order to survive........we pretty much know what those are. Water, food, sleep, shelter for starters, but what about those things that help us sustain a quality of life that is very individual in nature? Some of us need a certain amount of sleep, time to be quiet and still, time to be around other people, or simply time to be in our own space, apart from the busyness of life. We have to consider the fact that all of us came from a different environment, experienced different parents, siblings, lifestyles, attitudes....etc. We might all appear to be in human form, with the ability to talk, walk, work, love.....whatever, but if you get beyond those obvious appearances, we couldn't be more different. And as we grow, age, and develop very particular behaviors, mindsets, attitudes, likes, dislikes, beliefs.......we also develop ways in which to function in the world with others.
There is unfortunately a drawback here, in that with recognizing where we came from and what we've experienced, there is always this inherent need to be like everyone else......to fit in. No one really likes to stand out, whether they are disabled, sick, deaf, blind, mentally challenged, poor.....whatever the case may be, we all just want to fit into what most of us believe to be "normal". Even though I'm not so sure any of us really have a clear understand of what normal is.......just suffice it to say, we've been taught along the way that normal does exit.
So what happens when you want to fit into this place of being normal, but find there is something about yourself that needs special attention in order for that to happen? Say you were raised in a house with an angry and loud father, that made you shudder whenever he walked into your house. It might bother you to be around anyone who has a loud voice, so you avoid those situations. Or you might not be able to hear in a group whats being said, because your hearing is not so good, you just sit quietly, or you pretend you hear whats being said. Sometimes there can be physical pain and suffering of some kind that won't allow you to sit and visit with someone. Whatever the case may be, you need to allow yourself to do whatever is needed in order to take care of yourself, sometimes and most often regardless of what others think or feel about you.
Some of us enjoy and thrive on being around other people, but then there are those who are drained completely by being around others. The point is, no matter where you came from, what you've been through, or what your present situation is, there are certain things you need to do for yourself, that nurtures and cares for you individually. It doesn't matter the reason, you just arrange your life, and make decisions accordingly as your body needs.
Just as you eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired....etc........you work your life around what your mind, body and spirit needs. Doesn't necessarily mean you can leave work when you feel like it, or take off a week when you get the notion. There are many ways you can learn to incorporate self care into your daily work schedule, it's just a matter of being creative. It's very easy to find out and be more aware of what is lacking in the self-care department, making adjustments along the way with your diet, how often you eat, what time you go to bed, how you spend your weekends.....etc. All of these are things that allow you to do what is required, yet makes changes in order to be at your best, instead of walking around depleted each day.
Keeping in mind, your body is most often completely different than the next person, so don't start playing the comparison game, because it will get you nowhere. Start with where you are at this moment, and be aware of what needs you have that aren't being met, and what you can do to change that. Of course the trick is, not allowing someone elses opinion about your needs get in your way of what you know is the truth. Nobody knows your body better than you and what it needs at any given time. Our bodily functions are not on the same time frame.......a good thing to keep in mind.
If you expect to have a certain quality of life, sick or well, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, doesn't really matter......it's going to take a realization that each one of us are different, most often quite different, and have different needs at different times of our lives. Do what is right for you, by saying yes or no when you need to, spend as much time as you need in your own space being quiet and still, and allow others to do the same. If someone doesn't understand your need to do what is right for you, then let them deal with it however they need to deal with it, but at least you are being true to yourself and what you need to live your best life.
