Do you have the sneaky suspicion that you have just made a huge mistake recently? That your decision was based on fear, coersion from another, or to satisfy a need you had hoping that your decision would fill that need? Yikes......so have I. So.....what to do next? Well, first of all.....maybe you didn't have all the information that was needed in order to make that decision, or you really did have a lot of clear information, but chose to ignore it.......you know.....RED FLAGS! Oh yes indeedy, we love ignoring those pesky red flags. Of course what we don't realize is, that's our gut tellling us to beware. Very similar to the curve or danger signs you see on the roads. They're there for a reason, and most of the time we take caution, slow down...etc. That or either end up in the ditch. So why can we not do the same when we see the red flags in decision making?
Usually it's because we think we want something, and want it very badly. We believe that if we make this decision, that it will prove something.....to others....to ourselves, about the kind of person we are. Or there is a hole so great within us, we are hoping that this decision will fill it someway. I think most often decisions are fear based more than anything else. Afraid that if we don't jump on what is in front of us, that something or someone else won't come along and fill that hole. That if we don't jump on an opportunity to make money or a name for ourselves, that another one won't come along for us to take advantage of.
In other words, if you are wondering about a particular decision you made recently and whether or not it was based on sound, wise thinking.....as well as really good information.....there is evidently some regret or second guessing going on here. And as awkward, uncomfortable or scary that might feel right now, it's really a good thing, as much as you might have been taught at some point that minds cannot be changed once a decision has been made.
Sometimes the information that was needed probably before the decision was made, was simply not available, and there's no point in asking why it wasn't.....it just simply wasn't there for you to see yet. Once we say YES to whatever it is, we have to realize that it opens a door.......and the information in that door can be good or not so good. You won't know until you step through it. And that's where we are right now. We've made a decision to step through the door and move in a certain direction.
For me, the most important element to the decision making process is to allow myself an out because if you're human like me, you'll realize that you have and you will continue to make unwise decisions. I nor anyone else can zap that out of your thinking process.....if you think you can then you might as well delete this post and move on. As good hearted, wise and well meaning as we believe ourselves to be, it doesn't mean we are perfect or flawless in our thinking or behavior. So let's just start with that basic truth. And whether you believe that God is in control of your life, or the universe.......you are still working from a premise of free will. Free will means you have the world at your feet, and can make any decision that suits your fancy.
With that free will, you can and will make decisions in this life, but what is important is what you DO with those decisions after they've been made. It's how you coexist with them. Will you wake up each day pleased as punch that you made them.....or beat yourself silly because you made one without gathering enough information? That you're waking up with this gnawing feeling in your gut that you're stuck, no way out, nor could you ever speak those feelings to a soul? This is a horrible place to be, and will not go away unless addressed.
Am I suggesting that you live an irresponsible lifestyle, in that you can make a decision willy nilly anytime you like about anything and not suffer from the consequences because I've given you a license to walk away? Absolutely not. At least I don't think that's what I'm implying here. Maybe I should have named this post, It's Ok to Change Your Mind........would that make it more pleasing to your palette?
Maybe it has something to do with the level of commitment, or if there's money or children involved. Some things are easier to walk away from, or change your mind about than others......that's quite obvious. I suppose that would be based on your own moral fiber. As I've stated before, we were all made completely different, with different genes, parents, surroundings, experiences....etc. This will always have an impact on our decision making process. We all have theories about what is right and what is wrong in this world.....what is proper and socially acceptable. In fact when you think about it, when we make a decision there are so many things that are taken into consideration, except most often the thing that is the most important. Is the decision based on what is real, not what we hope will be real? AHHHHHH.......bingo. I love it when I hit a nerve.
Decisions based on what we HOPE will be real....not what is real. So this all implies speculation. We open the door hoping that all will be well. That we well get something we want, or rather think we want. Or heaven forbid, what might look right or seem right to the outside world. So.....you want to move ahead, with the road signs clearly stating you might want to slow down.....you might want to make adjustments. You either pay attention or you don't. Things seem to be a bit shaky, unstable.....it looks like even though you've decided to move ahead with abandon....clearly you're beginning to experience some uncertainty. The signs were right. The curve is sharp and dangerous, and you should have paid attention.
Now what? You ease up, slow down, see if the feeling in your gut that things are not quite right will go away if time passes, or if you need to just pull over, stop, and change directions. It's ok....you are allowed to do this.....and if you need to change your mind, then change your mind. If it's a decision that has been made where there is no way you can change your mind , then at least pull over and get some help with what you're facing. It's ok to say.....oh my gosh, I think I made the wrong decision......HELP!!!!
I think I need to write another blog on how to check motive and intent when making a decision.......or understanding how to gather information when making a decision or even more importantly.........HOW TO READ RED FLAGS!!!!! Nevertheless, decisions are one of the hardest things to do in this life......you're going to make good ones.....and not so good ones. Or rather wise ones, and not so wise ones. If you just say that outloud to yourself each day, it will help more than anything.
Decisions. It's interesting that people will put so much time and effort in deciding on a new president, but they won't take that much time when making the most important decisions in their life......the ones each day that affect you emotionally AND physically.
