As much fun as coaching is from my big chair, with coffee in hand and the world outside my window at sunrise......there is some sense to my madness. The day doesn't begin until I've sifted through and cleaned up my own worries, fears and frustrations, and settling with a strong sense of gratitude before sifting through someone elses life. For no matter what ails me, someone out there is 10 time more worried, fearful and frustrated and searching for help.
My trusting journal takes on so many thoughts of mine, with words filling up the page, pages filling up a book awaiting its final destination.........on the shelf with the rest of my life. Just think, someday my journals could be sitting on someone elses shelf waiting to be read. Their favorite passtime will be picking through the life of Cindylee. Will it be entertaining, sad, intriguing, exciting, tragic? Probably all of those but I would hope more than anything it might be inspirational.
After journaling, another cup of coffee and freeing up my mind for the day, I see that my inbox is full of messages. Interesting though, not so much from just friends staying in touch, but with people I've yet to correspond with, searching for someone to share their story with. I put my coaching hat on, squirm in the big chair until I get comfortable and strap myself in for a new adventure. Stopping for a moment to ask God to check my head and heart, making sure none of this is about me......for I'm not seeking approval or recognition......only to be a witness. To be a witness, or the kind of witness I strive to be, I must clear my mind, let go of the ego or self or any expectations of getting anything....just giving.
The messages range from several pages long to a few paragraphs......all written in hopes that someone has the time to just read it and hopefully feel the frustration, pain, heartache, loss...etc. Not to necessarily fix.....just read. And since I'm in my big chair, there are no time limits.....I can read it over and over again, looking for clues or suggestions of how I might approach that person.......with no concern of any interruptions. Though another message could pop up at anytime, and they do.......I can send a quick message letting them know I'm there, and will get to them within the next few minutes.
I never was very good at juggling, because I do have a shade of ADD......but always manage to work out a system that works for me.....and when you're dealing with alot of chronically ill people who are homebound looking for an outlet for their pain, knowing they are probably also in their pajama's.....its makes it alot more fun. Sometimes it feels as if we have this world all to ourselves. Theres the normal people......or who we think are normal because they get dressed up and drive somewhere to work living the american dream, and then there are the extraordinary people like me, who haven't necessarily chosen to be at home in their pajama's......but have no other choice.
Makes life so much more fun if I see those that are chronically ill as extraordinary. I believe "being sick" has been given a bad rap actually. That group of people who need to be pitied because they are physically or emotionally limited........are actually the chosen to make the rest of the world learn the meaning of gratefulness. YIKES.........did I just come up with a quote there? Excuse me while I write that down in my journal!!!!!!!
