Do you ever get the feeling that for whatever reason, you need to step away from something in order to get an answer? You think, ponder, rehash, speculate, juggle or try to manipulate a situation in your head until it becomes more than you can handle? Then you finally realize that the easiest way to figure something out, is to stop trying or asking why. What an amazing revelation that was for me, because I'm a born caretaker, fixer of wrong doings, righting the injustice of the world, albeit it not as a whole, but one lost soul at a time. And not necessarily because I thought I was a true savior for the world...but because I honestly thought I could help. It was my driving nature and purpose, to make a difference somehow.
Of course as time passed I learned, the hard way I might add, the benefits from stepping aside and observing what would happen with circumstances and people, minus my input. Course it's easy to understand why most people think that surely they have the right answer for anyone and any situation......most of us think that way. Most of us believe what we were taught growing up was the right way in which to do things, and that whatever education we had, would equip us with anything that may come our way......or even more egotistically.... someone else's way. I will not try to decipher this way of thinking, because I truly believe for the most part......it's normal.
However, what if one wanted to step away from the norm, and choose a different palette in which to paint. May sound twisted and abstract for some, but for myself would actually offer a challenge much different than the one I was forced to live with each day. For how can a person be "ok" with being sick most of their life, when all the rest of the world roams about the earth doing as they please? What is fair about that and more importantly how could one begin to manipulate the situation so that it not be such a focus in life, or better yet.....just disappear?
Well....before I tell you what is likely to work, I feel it important to share with you what does not work, and this is from hard core experience. You can first of all throw out all your notions of knowing the answers to everything, no matter if your parents were the president and first lady, or you graced the halls of Harvard, because it won't make any difference. I struggled to the bitter end to get my college degree, thinking that piece of paper would surely be proof positive that I had gained all the knowledge that was needed in order to change the world. If someone wanted to know what I learned in college, I would only be able to utter two words......discipline and perseverance. The rest I was hoping and praying was safely tucked away in long term memory for future reference.
Now with that being said, if I can no longer pretend that I know all the answers, how will I in fact do anything to help change the world? If I don't speak what I know, how can I help anyone find their way out of the maze that's put before us all? And then the answer came suddenly one day.......but, this was after my voice had been effected by my illness and it was most often impossible for me to project my most profound thoughts that would fix the world. What would happen if I chose to observe instead of being in a fix it mode? Would the earth still revolve without my imput? Would wrongs be righted if I could not speak? Could I make a difference in the world with no voice? Would comfort come to those who were sad, lost, afraid, frustrated or confused without my words?
Well......the interesting revelation that would come was wondering if the world would get along fine if I died? Would all those around me figure it all out without my presence and would life go on? Well, as much as I would like to still hang on to my knowing so much and my ability to save the world, reality sets in and reminds me.........yes, the world would get along without me. Now actually my title, "Step Away" does not really imply death of the body, as much as it has more to do with death of self. Death of what we hang on so tight to, fighting to get our way, or see the world the way we think it should be.
If we want to change the way we think about something or change our behavior, it has more to do with stepping away from what or how we've been for most of our lives. If something is not quite right, especially if you can feel it in your gut.....it doesn't automatically mean that it has to do with the outside world being at fault. In other words, at some point and time, it has to occur to each and every one of us to step away and see what part we play in not only how we think and behave, but how our thinking and behavior effects those around us.
The best way in which to do this is to stop talking or frantically trying to fix someone else's life and start looking at your own. Start today by listening more. Setting aside your iron-clad belief system in exchange for experiencing life through someone else's eyes. I promise it will open up a whole new world for you, and you'll have much more peace and joy because you're not focused on trying to fix someone else's problems. Also...when you learn to listen to others, they will notice that you are taking the time to listen, and they will in turn wonder if they are a good listener. You see the impact this has? You have in fact changed the world by listening to one person......and you did this by "stepping away."
