What Do You Need To Say?

I've often wondered what would happen to the world if we were all able to say the things that are really on our mind. Would we end up with a world with more peace, or in a world at war? And if we were able to communicate with other countries that way, while sitting comfortably sipping a cup of tea or glass of wine, what difference would it make? Would there be a more positive outcome if there were a mediator included in the discussion, or would world leaders be even more determined to get their way, no matter what? Well, for right now, even though that is an interesting thought pattern and surely warrants further consideration, I want to focus on just everyday people, in everyday relationships, who are stuck, dissatisfied, unhappy, and frustrated because they just can't, for whatever reason, speak their mind. Why is it so hard for us to just speak up and talk about what's bothering us? Fear of rejection, a response of anger, abandonment issues, or being afraid you may cause someone else to suffer from your comments, are all very common reasons for not speaking up. However, there is always a down side to not sharing your true thoughts and feelings. Stress related illnesses can brew in the background when you hold things in for too long.......and trust me, I know people who have been holding in hurt, pain, loss, anger, frustration, etc....for year and years. I can also tell you, from personal experience......it's not a good idea. Unresolved issues settle in the gut, and eventually seep out into the body, reeking havoc on not only your heart, soul, and mind, and eventually your immune system, but it truly changes who you are as a person and how you view the world, and relate to those who are closest to you. Most often unresolved issues involve forgiveness or unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves, as well as others.......and while most of us can still function on a daily basis, these thoughts, mindsets, and the determination it takes to hang onto them, will eventually take its toll. I believe the first thing that needs to happen is to ask yourself if you think you are harboring any unresolved issues. Most of us would like to think that we aren't, but I would venture to say that most of us do. All of us at some point during our lifetime have experienced dissappointment, hurt, loss, frustration, etc. If you haven't, then you must live in a cave somewhere.........but it's not so much that we had those experiences, as much as what we did with them that is so important. So many of us quietly hide them inside....deep inside where they can't hurt us anymore, or where we think they won't find us.......and you might be able to put it off for a while, put I think realize at some point and time, it'll catch up with you. Invariably......it does. Each of us will ultimately make the decision at some point to either look at something, deal with it, and move on, or we'll choose to let it sit and simmer until it shows up when we least expect it to. I suppose it depends on whether or not it's starting to affect you physically or emotionally. How much energy does it take to hang onto those unresolved feelings, and how helpful would it be to find a way in which to get them out? That's the real question. So I would suggest you figure out if it's worth it to hang onto that bitterness and resentment towards someone, or even with yourself.......or to just say what you need to say and let the healing process begin.