It is SO easy to go through life believing that outside forces get in our way of those things we believe we're supposed to have and enjoy while we're on this earth. Even basing our level of peace and happiness on things like money, location, our job, and especially on those around us and their behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
1.if only I had more money
2.if only my spouse would give me what I need
3.if only I had a different job
3.if only I weren't sick
4.if only I were thinner
5.if only I had more discipline in my life
6.if only a loved one had not died
7.if only I had a new car
8.if only I had a child
9.if only I lived on an island
Well.....as you can see I've only mentioned 8, but there is no doubt in my mind that you could add another 20 or so. But no need for fretting, for we all do this to some degree. Of course the important thing is how much we do it, and how long we stay in that mindset. It's important to also realize that when we do focus on "if only's"......it can and will steal our ability to experience true peace and joy in our lives, because we're focus of what we think we want or need, instead of what we presently have in this moment.
Yes....this probably is another lecture on the term "living in the moment". But, I believe we can read it, think it, and even say it outloud, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we truly "get it", so that we can ultimately apply it to our everyday lives. I believe we get stuck when we see our lives as lacking in some way....that there's one magical element that will help us complete the picture to our satisfaction. The perfect mate, the job that makes us feel brilliant and successful with respect and recognition from our peers, the perfect body for others to see and envy, the new fancy car that makes us look like we have an abundance of money and the perfect life.........you want me to go on?
Now, first up.......there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting or having these things, but I think the trick here, is to be satisfied with what you have instead of believing that those things will solve life's struggles or frustrations. We spend time praying, asking, or wishing for a particular thing or person, and most often receive it, but instead of relishing or appreciating the fact that you've received it, you're on to the next thing, never really feeling satisfied or content with what you have in front of you. I'm asking myself at this moment, is that all there is to life.....striving, wishing, expecting the next thing that will hopefully fulfill my life to my satisfaction? If that's our reality, then do we actually reach a point where we have all our baskets full and overflowing, wanting for nothing?
Well, of course that would be the ultimate.....being able to say to yourself, "I'm completely satisfied, and can finally be content with what I have in front of me". But in fact, if you stay in the land of the If Only's.......you will never experience that level of contentment. It's as if you completely forget the days, months, or years before this moment, you were asking, wishing, or praying for this particular thing you felt would bring you happiness, joy, or fulfillment. You received it, but forgot to recognize or express gratefulness that you received it......so you're on to the next thing. I'm sure you've heard the expression, be careful what you ask for, you may surely get it............well, it's true. It reminds you to search for the meaning and truth behind your desires in life. Is it what you truly believe is missing in your life, or something that you see other's experience, and think you need to follow suit?
My point? To pay careful attention to those moments of seeking the next thing, wondering "if only" my life were different, better.....whatever you see that's missing in your life, and begin to notice those things that are right in front of you......the prayers, wishes, desires that you dreamed of having, and have in fact already received. For being in a constant state of appreciating "what is" in your life, will ultimately open the door to what comes next for you, not the "if only's". Wondering, speculating, and expecting because you are unhappy with the present moment, is completely different than wondering, speculating and expecting good things to come just because they're good things...period.
I wonder what would happen if you practiced gratefulness for this very moment, soaking up every inch of already receiving what you asked for, and knowing that it's ok to desire certain things for your future, but not believing that "one" thing is what will make sense of your world and provide the love, happiness, peace and joy you need so badly.
