Words.......according to Webster: a speech sound, or series of them, serving to communicate meaning. Seems pretty simple, cut and dry right......so why would I even take time to focus on the meaning behind "words?" Well, as you'll see, I'm not necessarily referring to the written word, as much as the spoken word.....so at least we can start there. You'll find that words are not just a simple way in which we communicate.....they in fact have power to hurt, or the power to heal.......the choice is yours.
I believe our words are based on what we were taught as a child, not only in what we heard and learned to mimic, but how we eventually chose to use those words when speaking to those around us. Now if you came from a home where people were angry, abusive or showed no respect for those around them, you ingested that, and without knowing it, incorporated those same words into your own use of language each day. Once you grew up, and moved away from your own particular situation, that language stuck with you, and most often weren't aware of what you carried with you as you left home.
Now of course, there's obviously a flip side to this, where you were raised in a very loving and kind environment, where everyone was respected and appreciated, and the language spoken was quite different. There was a very positive tone that encouraged, built you up, and nutured you, as opposed to a negative tone that only focused on tearing down, rediculing, and placing unrealistic expectations on you. Two totally different environments, and no matter your own particular situation...........what we experience in the beginning will set the stage for how we see ourselves, our future, and most importantly those around us.
Now with all this being said, again......what is the point in discussing the meaning behind words?The point is, that words are not just words, but a tool in which to communicate how we feel. Not only how we feel about the world we live in, but most importantly how we feel about those around use, in particular, our immediate circle. And I want to go past what I've already mentioned about our language being established as a child.....that whatever we experienced or was engrained in us, would rightfully stay with us the rest of our lives. I want to not only talk about the power of our words, but the choice we have in how we communicate with others. We can either decide early on that because we were abused or not brought up in a positive and nurturing environment, that we have the right to pass that negative behavior on, or we can take a good look at ourselves, and see how our words actually have the power to destroy those around us, especially the ones we love.
Granted there are many people who were born into a loving environment, so that behavior or positive mindset and positive words are easily passed on.......in fact these are the people who will love and nurture the rest, and hopefully heal the bad that was experienced. But, at some point, we ALL have to wake up and start to pay attention to what is coming out of our mouths. I'm reminded often of what Christ said......."what we speak....so we are." In other words, when we are determined to say something negative, to ourselves or to others, it only perpetuates negative mindsets of fear, anger, resentment, envy, victim mentality, hatred......you want me to go on? I'm sure if you're reading this, you've already started to ask yourself......."what is coming out of my mouth........and most importantly.....why?" Do I take what I'm feeling at any given moment, and spit out with no understanding of who I might be addressing, just to vent my own personal pain and frustrations? Do I use someone I love as a punching bag, just to prove I am right? Or not even a punching bag......but speak in a way that is condescending, judgemental or with righteous indignation, proving one point.....that I am right?
Now I'm going to go one step further with this, after I've given you a chance to think about what is coming out of your mouth. I want you to stop for a moment and remember what it felt like as a child to hear negative words that sting, hurt, and damage. To want desperately to be loved, nutured, encouraged, protected and made to feel safe......but got nothing but something that made you want to go and hide in a hole somewhere. Remember that feeling? And whether you got bashed as a child.....or later in life were subjected to abuse or someone negative that you married or worked with, just stop and ask yourself, do I have the right to do that to someone else? Remembering there are varying degrees of bashing, rediculing...etc.........it doesn't matter, it still has the power to instill feelings of deep hurt and pain.
So.....with all this being said, please remember that you have the power to hurt or to heal.......in the end it's a choice of what resonates inside of you.....and you can very easily come up with a thousand different excuses for continuing to use your negative words or behavior, but in my opinion.....none of them will hold water, even a "but they did or said that to me." If you choose to continue, it only makes a statement about yourself.......that your self importance is more valuable than those around you. Trust me.....there is much to be gained from allowing someone to just be right....whether they are or not. I think we can either choose to be humble, or we can choose to humiliate. It's all in the "words."
