The Intricate Weave of Life

Ah yes.....when your mind ponders on the why's, what if's, should haves, or could haves, where do you find the answers? It's not as easy as going to the bookshelf and pulling down the Webster,  flipping through the pages in search of a word you came across that you didn't fully understand, though it sure would be nice if it were. Though I suppose we could investigate the word weave, especially since that seems to stick in my mind lately. Like a song you keep singing or humming, but don't know why you can't get it out of your mind. So let's go to the Webster. Weave.........to construct in the mind or imagination....to make ones way....to be interlaced or intertwined. Of course you would find the literal definition....the interlacing of threads and yarns.....but I of course like to go further down the page to find the figurative meaning......that's the way I work....no apologizing, just plain fact.

I believe that God meant for us to dig deep and find meaning in life.....every aspect of life. Who knows....maybe I have too much time on my hands, or maybe it's my lifes work. I remember thinking as a child that in my adult years,  I would be surrounded by books, words, colors, and patterns. But would also be dealing with the mind in some way........so I suppose thats what I'm doing in a sense. It's just not your typical everyday job with a desk and name on the door.....which I love. Who wants to be normal and everyday?

So we see that I don't have a problem with expressing myself through words, and of course you become what you read, so where does color and pattern come into play? Well...I do paint and draw, design cards, color in my Mandala book, which has beautiful drawings that you fill in with color, that allows you to slow down and meditate while you're discovering how all the colors interact and come together to make a beautiful picture. It's really amazing how it works, and I highly recommend for anyone who would love to learn how to be still and quiet, play with color and patterns, and just do something different and fun for a change. It also helps you get in touch with the child within you, for we all colored as a child, and this allows you to tap into that, which is very healthy for all of us. There are several books to choose from, and the best markers are Tombow markers, which you can find at Michaels or Dick Blick art supplies online. You can try other markers...but these you will absolutely love. So thats my plug for the day.

Now....stay with me on this. Along with the weaving color, patterns, drawing, etc, comes the most amazing part of the weave of life theory. It opens the door to a life of visualization. OK...so let's go to Webster again. I love this. Visualization....to form a mental picture. Now believe it or not...you would be surprised at how many people have never done this, nor do they understand how easy it is, nor how beneficial it can be to their everyday life. So if you've stuck with me this far, then you can maybe create a picture in your mind of how all of this comes together and forms an intricate weave of life. I know....it takes me a while. But this was a process for me, and will be for you as well....so it's well worth the time and effort to learn how to do.

In short.....in order to go deeper, or find more meaning and understanding of life, it helps to have a way in which to do that, so that you don't walk around just wondering what the heck is going on with your life.....but the meaning behind it. Is that important for us to know........well it's not so much about knowing....because none of us have a crystal  ball.......though it wakes us up to the process.....being in the process of life and soaking up every moment that we can while we're here.

When you have too much, or you feel too much is going on in your life, that goes beyond the bizzare or any understanding at all, I believe God gave us ways in which to cope, and this weave of life is my way of coping in the midst of things in my life that just cannot be understood any other way. We are all in search of happiness, joy, meaning, understanding, and contenment in life, but  looking in the wrong place and have no clue how easy it is to find. Am I saying all you have to do is buy a coloring book? No....but it could spark something most definitely, which in turn could bring understanding about another area of your life.

So......the weave of life and visualizing the weave of life. What does that mean?  Well..oddly enough, I'm not going to finish explaining what that means. I'm going to allow for some space here for you to ponder. Think about the terms I've used here, and see what comes up for you. You either want to find deeper meaning, or you don't. It's your choice. But you won't be sorry if you at least dip your toe in the water.

And Yet Another Day

As you can see, it's been a while since I've blogged. Life simply sent me a curve ball that required me to step away from my normal routine, think about my life, change and rearrange........ just like deciding that your life might be a bit more interesting and fun if you moved the living room furniture around. I know, maybe a silly analogy, but that's what I do. I use things, people, and situations to help express my thoughts and feelings. Makes them more real, and for the reader, it hopefully creates a palette where colors sort of come together to make a picture. I love that.

I think sometimes it is so very difficult to express to someone how you are really feeling about your life. What works, what doesn't, what hurts, what is overwhelmingly sad or happy, etc.....with knowing one thing.....you want to be known. You wake up, look around, take a deep breath, maybe smell the coffee brewing that you set up the night before, feel a nice cool breeze brush against your skin from an opened window, or notice your dog or cat stretching at your feet, where they'd been curled up all night......and then realize it's yet another day, and what will it bring. You hope that it will be filled with good things, happy moments, some good news, something that will make you feel at ease and at peace......but then you realize that you may have to endure something that is very painful and overwhelmingly sad as well.

The good things are easy to take in.....they offer freedom and an openness to fully experience life with peace and no fear. But the not so good things make us want to withdraw, pull the covers over our head and hope the alarm doesn't go off for another ten years. We rub our heads, curls our toes, and pray that somehow the strength and courage will be available to us before we ease out of bed......maybe realizing that we are not alone. There are in fact millions of people who are experiencing the same feelings, and actually experiencing things that we cannot even imagine having to go through......and then of course we remember they are in fact people who are close to our hearts.

Yes....a doze of reality as well as a different perspective in knowing that whatever it is we are going through....bad or good....that ours thoughts and feelings about life, ourselves, those around us, are felt, and felt deeply, and should be shared with someone. How else can we be known for who we are, and how we are experiencing our lives, or if we have something to offer someone else, unless we verbalize our thoughts. I want to be known, as well as fully know those around me and how they are really feeling at any given moment, especially if it's something painful and they simply need a witness to their pain. And as well......a moment of joy, that is simply magical and overwhelming......that could possibly bring a smile or joy to someone elses life for just a moment.......how could I or why would I not want to share that?

So.....see if you can open yourself up today and share something that is deeply felt, and you may be surprised to see that even if this is yet another day.....it is your day and worth sharing.

Finding moments of pure joy and peace

Do you ever experience moments where you felt true peace and joy? For me it's like a swirl of energy above my head, as if God is trying to download something....something very profound. Well....when you think about it, we are very similar to computers, with our outlets of mind, sight, hearing, feelings, that are constantly downloading information each day. Nowadays some of us crash, some of us start spinning like a computer being asked to multitask, with no capability, until we have no choice but to stop and wait until it slows down, gets it's little info bits lined up and in order so it can offer whatever it is we asked for. I think it's so interesting that we can demand and expect so much from a computer......and that despite our believing we could never live without one, we did in fact live without them not so long ago. Granted my computer offers me the ability to help others, connect with others, and hopefully come away with having done something that made a difference in the world...........I still believe the simplicity of life that was experienced when I was growing up is hardly available to anyone nowadays. Unless of course you search for that deeper meaning within yourself and find it. Oh it's still there.....just tucked away safely waiting to be pulled out and experienced. I suppose the problem is that we don't realize that we must choose simplicity. And of course when we do, then the moments of pure joy and peace come more often to our doorstep.

When I experience those passing moments of peace and joy, it's like catching a firefly.......oh ......wait....here it comes again......ok.....hangon.....hangon.....get the hands cupped and ready.....almost........gotcha! Then you watch it glow inside your hands for a few minutes, and then realize.....you must let it go. It was fun catching it, watching it glow, watching and wondering.....now how does he make that tail glow?.........but then you know if you don't let it go....it will die. So you open your hands and gently release it into the air and it flies away. Peace and joy are there.....you can experience anytime you like, but you have to stand still long enough to see that they are in fact there for the taking.  You can't just sit around and wish that you would be lucky enough to experience it.....you just decide in your own mind what those things mean to you. What do they look like, feel like.......does something or someone bring with it peace and joy? Or, are you constantly in the expectation mode of thinking that someone owes you or you deserve them....thinking if you keep "trying" to find them....they will come. Oddly enough it's when you stop trying so hard and just allow them to land in your cupped hands.......so not such a hard task.

One thing I have learned most recently, is that peace and joy are gifts from God, freely available to me anytime I want them. Even if I think I don't deserve them, they are still available. I also realized that if I become a source for peace and joy for someone else in this world, then inturn it will come to me more often. We are such takers of this world and expect so much that it makes everything about us and want we want, need, get, or think we deserve, especially if we feel we've at some point been given the short end of the stick. So when we expect without giving, we are loosing our access to peace and joy, not understanding why it seems those around us have it......but we don't. Constantly asking ourselves, now I wonder why that person is so happy, content, and seems to be blessed and really enjoys their life, then most often again turning inward and feeling victimized or punished in some way.

We all want to be in control of our lives, pushing, expecting, demanding and constantly focused on the self. After all......everyone outside of us has fallen in place as far as what the world sees as normal. You are normal if you have this, wear that, and at least appear and act like anyone on television. I guess we don't realize whoever the man is inside the box at an given moment has control of our brains, and the download begins. I'm surprised there isn't a show called "If you want to be normal".....followed by a segment of downloading where all commercials that sell something that you don't need or can't afford are downloaded into your brain. Well who am I kidding......it goes on all day long.......doesn't need to be a specific show. Of course this is not about me bashing people who watch television, but again....there are choices to be made. This is another area of choice. You can choose to watch channels that are not trying to sell you something you don't need or can't afford but rather feed your mind and soul....give you something to think about other than spending money.

But I have gone astray with my thoughts about peace and joy.....but not too far. Maybe I should have titled this "Ten Ways to safely torch your computer and television". Well....maybe there can be some balance with those things, but seriously......wonder what would happen if you just took a half hour each day to get quiet and still and thought about how you could bring someone else in your life peace and joy? Just a half hour of not thinking about what you want, need or determined to get.......but to place those thoughts outward. As if you were more focused on catching the firefly for someone else to see instead of you catching it for yourself. At that moment you are opening the door to experience peace and joy.......and good grief.......who doesn't want to experience that? The trick is realizing that the world does not and never will revolve around you.....it was designed and set up by God for us to love......simply love.

So.....in keeping with my frequent challenges for the day.......I want to challenge you to stop and think outward when wondering where the peace and joy might be located this week. Repeat after me....it's not about me......it's not about me......it's not about me....and never was. There is no longer a need to TRY so hard to find them......they are floating around right in front of you......just stop and grab them.......you'll find they  have a glow, will warm your heart, and you will want more than anything to release them so someone else can experience them as well. And just in case you're wondering........that is real love.

Are We Ever Really Satisfied?

The answer to that question is probably no. Even when we have thought, prayed for, wished for, or pondered about, and even received the thing we most wanted......still......it's not enough. I think it's because we are convinced that if we get this particular thing......then everything in life will fall into place.......our perfect world will materialize and ultimately make us dileriously happy and content. And of course when we wake up and realize......well...that didn't work out the way I thought it would......disappointment sets in, with ourselves and even with those around us. Isn't it interesting that it's most often someone elses fault that you are not where you want to be in life, or have the things you think you deserve. That if only that person would have done this, said that, changed into something that you expected or needed, you would be sitting happy right now. Well.....I'll let you sit with that for a few minutes....see what comes up.

Let me ask you this. When was the last time you wanted something really badly, so much that it became your daily focus......waking up with it.....going to sleep with it on your mind, completely convinced that if you got it, then you would be satisfied? I would venture to say you were able to zero right in on that one thing...right? You thought about it, and are probably most likely sitting right in the midst of the thing you wanted the most. So as you continue to sit in the midst, does it look like the picture you had in your mind? Exactly, somewhat, sort of ,but lacking.....absolutely nothing like I expected? Does the situation involve another person?

Well......it most likely does involve another person, because it's so easy for us to point the finger outward when searching for reasons why something didn't work out the way we imagined. We never stop to think that maybe our expectations are way too high, for others, as well as ourselves. If something doesn't work out, it's so much easier to look out, instead of in, to find answers. Now if you hoped for, wished for, prayed for, and actually received your one thing, and are completely satisfied with whoever or whatever it was, and can fully except whatever came with it .........that's great. You have much to be thankful for. However........if you have received, but left wondering......what was I thinking, or if I had it to do over, or this picture does not even resemble what was in my mind when I was so focused on "getting"..........then you have a dilemma of sorts.

First up......for me....a dilemma is not a bad thing. It just means you've reached a crossroads, and need to take a few minutes or longer to see if you need to continue down the same road.....or change directions. I know.....the word change. People hate that word so much, mainly because the moment you read it or hear it, you realize....uh.oh.......this is going to require me to DO something. Are we all so complacent in this life that we can't simply consider that another plan might help eliviate something thats weighing us down? If something in our lives is causing stress, either emotionally or physically, then it's a sure sign that we need to stop and see what's really going on.....and hopefully have the courage to make adjustments.

And yes, adjustments will require something......but hopefully you can see that as a good thing.....something that has the potential to free you up in some way, take the weight off, eleviate the stress you're under. It's either that, or continue to stand in the middle of the crossroads, blindfolded, unwilling to see this whole process of what was planned or hoped for, what was expected, what didn't work out, and ultimately what needs to change........and in a way where there is no pointing the finger outward or bashing ourselves. Looking back at our decisions does not have to involve pulling the 2x4's out of the closet, to spend our free time beating ourselves up. The benefit of looking back, will allow us to see what our goals were at one time, basing those goals on what your situation was at that time. There is no way to foretell what may or may not happen in the future.....so you always have to allow yourself some room for things to change...good or bad.

People seem to think that if things don't turn out the way they planned, that means they made a terrible, unwise decision......and granted there probably are times when decisions are made hastily, or made with having unrealisitic expectations of yourself and others.......but even if that were the case.......thats why it's so important to allow a certain amount of give(i.e. flexibility), in your life. Or rather learn to yield, which requires a giving up under pressure or surrendering to something. Uh oh........theres that word again.......requires. Well, if I told you that if you did in fact learn to be more flexible, yielding, patient, and study deligently the word surrender, that you would experience more peace and joy....would that make a difference? Would it  be worth the "requirements" that are needed in order to make your picture more pleasing, and your life more content?

I mean honestly.....what other choice do you have? Theres has to be a time when we are just satisfied with where we are, especially when we look back and remember.....oh yes....I did want that, hope for that, pray for that and actually got it. And now here I sit, confused, disappointed, wanting the next thing that you think will make you satisfied. If you are not satisfied with how things turned out, and adjustments need to be made.......do yourself a favor........make them. We aren't talking rocket science here, and the world will not come to an end if you have to give up something in order to make your life a bit more managable......especially if you are experiencing physical cues that the body is breaking down. Like the light that goes off in your car that tells you maintenance is needed....something needs to be checked, changed, attended to, replaced....whatever. God did not give us these bodies to run marathons.....well unless we are marathon runners and are in constant training and our bodies can withstand the pressure, and even then the bones can only take so much before they give. Hey.....we are all individually made....some of us are stronger than others, and some can deal with stress better, but we all really know what sort of body we have....so do what it's telling you to do.

Be thankful for where you are today, and how you truly are living with some of the things you prayed for in the past......and if you know in your gut that some changes need to take place, some things need to be said, or some truths need to be revealed......even if just to yourself...  or something needs to be let go of in order to cope and live with less stress...........just do it. Life is too short to spend time grieving over what you didn't get, or grieving over what might or might not come, or bashing someone else for why you're not satisfied in this life. So take off the blindfold now, and see what seems possible........ embrace the ability and freedom to make changes in your life, if and where they're needed. And for heavens sake.....ease up on the person who you think is responsible for everything that is not quite right in your life.They are most likely the person you prayed for and received.

Let's Talk About Anger

I don't know about you, but I could get a fairly good list going of things I'd like to kick up the dust about today. Most of the time, I'm able to handle whatever the issue might be, and after a few minutes transform it into something more manageable........though today has not been one of those days. Most often these days arise because I've not been taking care of myself in some way, or either expecting too much, or not able to let go of something because I'm hanging on for dear life, hell bent on not yielding to something that is destined to change in my life whether I like it or not. Sort of like pressing the floor with your foot in the passenger seat, hoping that the driver will slow down or stop. You can press that foot clear through the floor, and if the driver wants to slow down, they will slow down......but you're pretty much at the mercy of whoever's driving....period.

Now I was hoping that this new year would bring only good things, because the last year has been rough, to say the least......emotionally, physically, financially....etc.....but so far it's felt like I've been tied to the bumper of a truck, and dragged across a cobblestone road naked. Not a pretty sight I assure you, and about as painful as you can imagine, nevertheless.....thats what it felt like, and doesn't look like it's easing up anytime soon. Now granted most of my rough stuff is physical, but honestly it doesn't really matter whether you have physical or emotional challenges that weigh you down.......the frustration is the same.

The question is of course.....what do you do with your anger? And don't tell me you don't have any, because I won't believe you. Everyone has stuff they're dealing with at some level. Either something they want to say to someone but feel they can't, something they want to change, but feel they can't........in other words....your freedom to express has been stifled, squashed, disabled.....and we all want to be understood or express what we're truly feeling. Suppose you've been treated unfairly about something, or someone has said something about you that is not true, or you've made a decision lately that you believe you must have made while jumping out of an airplane or high on cocktails......and now you're paying for it dearly. Maybe it was a decision made to keep someone else happy, or to give them what they want, as opposed to you doing what was right for yourself.

Realizations such as these are hard to look at head on, because it reminds you that you clearly were not basing your decisions on truth or reality. You know.......that little voice inside your head that says......well shoot......I'm gonna just jump and hope for the best.....besides I'm doing this to make someone else happy, so it can't be wrong can it? Hmmmm.....well....I'll let you answer that one.

I think most of the time we are more angry with ourselves than with other people. Sure you can point the finger, finding good reason why you've ended up in a spot you thought you would never end up in, so it must have been someone who pushed you, coherced you, nagged you, etc, until you just gave in and said yes to whatever they wanted. So yes....they got what they wanted.....YAHOO.....good for them.......but what  happens to you? What kept us from stepping back and looking clearly at what making that decision would mean to YOUR life? All well intended because we want to love, nuture, and give out of kindness and devotion..........but there has to be a way in which to give without losing yourself completely, where your life becomes all about the other person, and there is nothing left to identify you. You've sort of blended into the woodwork, until one day you wake up and realize..........what happen to me?

You wonder what happened to those things that nurtured you, that fed your soul, that comforted you, that kept you grounded and balanced in life....etc. They've quickly been molded, without you knowing it, into something that you cannot even relate to any longer. And then uh oh..........you wake up one morning and realize........who is that person in the mirror.......it's not me.

Then the anger sets in. Yeh.....I'm talking to you. The one who thinks whatever it is that's bothering them will just slip out the back door, leaving you alone with a glorious sense of peace and joy. Well.....if you've got one of those minds that can do that....go for it. Tell me later how that's working for you. However..........

If your ears are perked up about right now, and as you continue to read these words, that "something" is beginning to swell up in your gut.....that little gnawing that won't go away no matter what you try.......well...then maybe you're ready to go to work and see where you can park that anger that will invariably start affecting those around you unless you do something about it.

First of all.....take a deep breathe.........there.......take another one. You realize part of the problem is the fact that you are NOT breathing......so all that stuff that sort of nags at you can't get out properly. Now get your mind focused on what you believe is in your gut right now. You can make a list of piddling things, but more than likely there is something at the core. The one thing that if you stop and look at will only reveal the truth of your anger. Maybe you're one of these people who believe you should never get angry......that it doesn't say much about your character if you submit to it, so you decide the best way is to find a place to store it inside that crafty little head of yours. Maybe nothing ever bothers you......you're just a balanced, stable sort of person who has a glorious life where everything falls right into place..........yeh right.......if thats the case...please pass on your phone number so I can get some pointers. I must be doing something wrong.

OK......so from your list.....what did you come up with? Were they things like, there is never enough money, my spouse drives me nuts or just doesn't do what I want them to do, my body is falling apart, I hate my job, I don't believe anyone truly understands me....or this is not what I thought my life was going to look like at age _____.  I'm probably pretty close, or there may be some heavier things on the list that you are not ready to address right now.......or sort of nag you.....but not enough to do anything about.

So...after looking at your list, are your eyes drawn to one thing that really stands out.......one thing that really gives your gut a twinge? There are no right or wrong answers here.....and there's no one standing over your shoulder right now.....so it's ok to sit with it for a few minutes. What's on your list that has the potential to become lethal and could get blown way out of proportion if it's not addressed now? What will it do much later, if you don't fess up to it now? What are you likely to lose if you don't first recognize it, and then say it outloud either to yourself, or to someone around you? And we can be talking about the smallest little thing, to something that you know if you open your mouth, you'll be destroyed.

Maybe you just need to say something outloud to someone, recognizing the risk, but knowing that if you don't, it will nag you till the day you die. Whatever it is, and I think you know by now what it is......the one core thing that needs to be addressed.....but you are choosing to ignore it. The one thing that just keeps you on the edge of anger.....each day that passes you think will just float away, but it never does.

So what do you do with it? Where can you stash it so it won't show? What happens to any peace or joy you could have while you're here if you choose to hang onto it? What happens to you and the sort of person you really wanted to be, or the sort of life you wanted to live, but somehow got lost?

Sounds like a disappointment more than an anger blog right? Well....I think anger can most often follow disappointment. Things just didn't turn out the way you thought they were going to......and when you look in the mirror....you have no clue as to who you're looking at anymore. Cause for anger? Absolutely.........and if it brings any peace at all, just remember......most all of us go through moments like this, you just don't know about them. Most often the disappointment is kept at bay, because we don't want people to think we can't control what goes on in our lives.......but then our lip starts to gnarl up, we start gritting our teeth, the muscles in our neck stiffen up, then you notice you're getting an edge........your gut starts to swell up, and then BAM.

So whatever IT is......whatever you came up with on your list and whatever you zeroed in on ........go with it. See where it goes.....I promise you won't self destruct if you do.  Real truth....honest, gut level truth allows a shift to occur, which opens the door for change. So if you want something to be different in your life, don't wait for the other person to magically change into who you need them to be, or the perfect situation to come along because you think you deserve it.......look in the mirror.......see if there is some anger about something. Or if you want to call it something else then thats fine. No matter what you call it......anger, resentment, bitterness, loss, rejection, frustration, sadness.........whatever.....look at it for once.

It's ok to be angry......furious....kick up a fuss, wail, rant and rave, throw stuff, hit stuff, yell, scream, whatever you've mind to do.......let her rip. You probably have good reason and no one would think the less of you if you threw a fit right in front of them. Hey....if you need a witness......get one. Just don't hold it in anymore......serves no purpose and will only fester and get worse.

I hope when you look in the mirror tomorrow morning......you'll begin to see more of yourself again.

Expectations...Good or Bad?

Do you remember the last time you had expectations that a situation would turn out a certain way, only to be sad and disappointed you didn't get want you wanted in the end? Ah yes....I know that feeling well.....but determined, to not only learn to understand why I have expectations ......but what to do when quite often there's not a favorable outcome.

Obviously, expectations are plans....well thought out plans in our heads of how we visualize something happening in our lives. Course it goes without saying, that what we visualize is something good......not something that will cause pain and suffering, loss or sadness of any kind. Most often expectations involve an overwhelming sense of hope. Hope that something is apt to change, shift and be transformed for your good. But. Surely you were "expecting" that word to show up right?

But.....very often, those well thought out plans, where we visualize only happiness, joy, peace, contentment.....etc.......slip through our fingers in a blink of an eye....with sometimes no warning at all. You woke up......and it hits you right between the eyes. You find yourself curled up on the floor in the corner of your bedroom in the dark, hoping that it was just a dream......but then reality sets in, and you see things clearly did not work out as you had expected them to.

You had this very particular picture in your mind....most likely for years about how things would be, what you would be doing, how you would look, feel, who you would be with, how you would spend your time, what your work would be, how your house would look.........etc......sometimes right down to very minute details, like what color your kitchen would be, or how a relationship would go. Our minds obviously good for making nice, peaceful and happy pictures, but never making room for the unfortunate things that might happen. Things like losing a job, someone walking out on you, losing your house, or getting diagnosed with a chronic illness. Those things you never want to ponder, because they only imply pain and suffering.......nothing good.

So...as you read this, were you in the midst of expecting good things to come, and they did.....or were you in the midst of expecting good things to come, and you're stuck in the corner on the floor in the dark? Well, if you are in fact experiencing the latter, no worries.....I have no intentions of trying to pull you out of your corner right at this moment. I'm hoping you might be able to do that on your own at some point, but for right now......hopefully it will help if you just have a witness. I think when we're in that bad a shape, we don't want to move for a while.....we just want someone to notice that we're there. That somehow we see you....we see the pain...we see the suffering and the loss.........we simply see. I may throw you a blanket to keep you warm, give you some hot tea and a pillow.....turn the little nite light on....a quick smile.......but then I'll let you sit in the quiet for a bit. I'm not far away. I'll just keep watch for now.

More later.

Is Our Job Who We Really Are?

Well, I would usually start spitting out a line or two from the Webster on this issue, however, since finding that the word "work" took up almost a whole page, I'll forgo it just this once........except to say......according to Webster, work is a pretty important thing. I'll also share that the word produce is used quite often in the definition, which is not all that surprising. Most of us work in order to produce a particular thing......or offer a particular service. We do it so much that we almost become what we do. We wake up with it, navigate the day with it, ponder it at lunch, with friends, with our family, and then we fall asleep with it on our minds. In fact I'm sure another blog could be written dealing with work and sleepless nights.

Now why do you think we are all so consumed with the issue of work? Well, in order to buy what we need, we have to have money, which requires us to work. Simply the way the world is set up. And usually at a young age, we have already identified what our skills are, and how we plan to make a living for ourselves and our families. Whether it's a skill that requires college or not, is not really the issue here, but rather how our skills begin to reflect who we are in the world, and how we feel about that. There is a considerable amount of pride that comes into play when we think about our jobs, that is if you really like what you do. Again....a whole other topic to write about........people who hate their jobs. I'll just say this, you'd be surprised at how many people out there hate what they do, and can find no way to change that.

Now let's say you got lucky and discovered your gift or skills at some point in your life, and were able to venture out and find a job that makes you feel very productive, proud, and grants you a certain feeling of accomplishment in life. This is good, right? You even like it when someone asks you what you do, because it gives you an opportunity to stand up straight, show someone how smart or creative you are, which of course automatically lets them know around how much money you most likely have coming in each year. Again.....this is a good thing because we all want to feel good about ourselves, and to let others know that you are doing your part in the world....that you can make your own way......and that you have chosen a profession that you can take pride in, especially if the person asking you has a job where they make considerably less money, or in fact has just lost their job, or are too sick to work.

AH....yes.........now we get to the meat of the whole issue......is our job who we really are. Now if you do have a job that you really like and feel a sense of satisfaction about, make decent money, and can buy all the "stuff" you like, then you can pretty much stand in front of the mirror in the morning with a smile on your face and feel a genuine sense of adoration for yourself, right? You see the pride, the intelligence, the level of productivity, the family legacy of a good and solid work ethic. You may not have everything that you wanted in life, and could be happier with a bigger paycheck or nestegg, or retirement plans.......but still with those little unknowns, you can still make it through the primping in the mirror at any given moment.

Now that you're feeling good about yourself, imagine going into work tomorrow and having your boss tell you he has to let you go. Or that your investments just went south, and you have to start all over again at age 60. Or that you still have a job, but you'll have to figure out a way to do it at home, because of the need to cut back on overhead issues at work. Whether it was something you did that caused the layoff, or whether the recession just pulled the rug out from under you, it doesn't matter. The fact remains.......you have just realized that your life is going to be completely different without your job in about a thousand different ways, and so the shock sets in. The alarm clock is still set for 6, so you can get up and get ready for work, have your breakfast, and out the door by 7. Your body has been conditioned for the last 15 years to move, react, function, and prepare itself for a day of work. Whether the work is fastpace, easy going, or even if you have a job at home, where the workload and productivity is still the same, you just happen to do it in your jammies instead of a suit. Seemingly lucky group, but you are still expected to produce no matter what the dress.

Now maybe you're lucky, and your spouse has a good job, or maybe you have some good investments that will tide you over until you find another job, or you've been waiting for an opportunity to go back to school and change your career anyway. These are things that help lessen the blow of losing your job, or being asked to go part time. However......oh man......that word....can either be a brick or a dose of hope kickin in............let's go with someone who just walked outside after being fired with no umbrella and the clouds unload the rain of the century. You not only look like a drowned rat.....you feel like one as well.

Your daily life that you felt was safe and gave you a sense of accomplishment and continuity just got flushed down the drain.....and took your sense of who you are, your self worth, your way of identifying yourself, with it. Seemingly never to be heard from again. At that moment, the fear sets in, the frantic notions of no open doors hits you, and dead on....all at once. Lately it seems that the hog dog venders on the corners, should be replaced with shots of bourbon to ease the shock. If you're not a praying or spiritual person.......I'm sure that would be a welcomed sight.

My point here......and I do have one believe it or not is.........why are we so identified with our jobs to the point that we feel we are nothing without one? Our jobs are not who we are as a person, it's not our self worth, or the things we feel at the core. It's just how we make money to pay for the things that we need. And I know......everyone wants the job that brings in the most money so you can buy the best things in life........but if you take a careful look around sometime, you'll see that the large percentage in the world are low income, or poverty level people. Most often people who had no choice in the matter as to what their profession would be, or even think about having the best things in life. They never even had the chance to identify themselves with what they do in life......they're just surviving.

Now this is not the blog that bashes those who are fortunate to have a good job, and most likely will never lose that job, nor is it about the ones that have worked hard for a long time, make good money, and feel they deserve the best things in life. Or to stand at the corner and hand out dollar bills to those poor people on the street instead of buying the next thing you think you need. This is about what happens to people when they lose their job.......and how it can become a wonderful opportunity to rethink, ponder, re-evaluate your life goals...and more importantly.......who you are as a person. Because once you lose that job, and think your identity was lost as well, then you're left with something to think about....bad or good. And the first time you walk out the door of your house, and run into your neighbor who has not lost his job, you see him as lucky, worthy, fortunate, wise, intelligent....and about 100 other words that identify him as being something better than yourself.

So you go inside, shut the door, have another cup of coffee, and shuffle around in your robe and socks wondering not only why, but what the heck are you suppose to do now? You sit at the kitchen table, looking out the window, take a deep breathe and remember......oh wait.....I do get a months wages coming to me....so we can still eat and not lose our home, at least for right now. But, then you realize.....what then? So again......the mind takes over and it boils down to "self" and what a loser you are, or how surely you're not the type person who would or could lose their job....its just not possible. What will the neighbors and your peers think about you now?

Now there are either some of you out there who have been through this.......or some of you petrifide that you could go through this.......or you're thanking God that you will never have to go through this.......doesn't matter. The bottom line is, is it right to go through life totally identifying yourself with what you do. I would have given up years ago if I had decided I was not worth living on this planet if I saw myself as being sick and nothing else. Being sick is just part of who I am, it's not how I identify myself. So I take what is left and deal with it the best way I know how. Of course this is easy for me to say now, I've been in the position for many years now, but trust me, when you get the rug pulled out from under you physically, and can no longer venture out and be as productive as those around you......you can have a major crisis of self worth, or lack there of.

So, there has to be some way for those who have lost their job, or had it altered in some way with less income, to see they've been given an opportunity to change their life, as opposed to feeling they have lost their identity. Even with all the adjustments you're likely to make or have to make to survive.......it doesn't mean that you have to lose your work ethic, or your need to be productive.....it just means that you might have to think about another way to accomplish those things. It's like turning 80 before you're ready........what do I, or can I possibly do now that I'm 80? Well, even if you are too old to work, you're still the same person at the core that you were when you were working.

There is no point in asking why........trust me on this one ok? If anything....you can learn to ask yourself why not. If you think you are so special, so intelligent, so together, so fortunate, so anything.......that you could or would never be in a position to lose your job......therefore lose your self identity.......then you will always be attached at the hip to your job and never really know who you are without it. If you consider yourself a wise person because of what you do for a living, then you should be able to still see yourself as worthy and wise without nothing.

So.....if you lost your job.....remember.......things happen for a very good reason, even if we don't always know what that reason is.......but it's not the end of you......its the beginning of something new and hopefully exciting. If adjustments need to be made.....then simply make them. You won't be the first person who had to sell their Mercedes for a VW Beetle....and move into a one bedroom apartment. Besides.......thats called adventure living in my book!