With the busy-ness of the holiday season, with either contemplating gifts for those we love, the perfect meal planned, or havings to face family situations that have never healed, it doesn't leave much time to think about what we would like to see happen in the New Year. This is always a most profound time of the year for most of us, because we see it as a time for change. It seems quite appropriate that our new President elect will be entering office with much hope and belief that the world we live in does need to be transformed in some way, but I think that most of us feel there is really nothing individually that we can do to help that change take place. What a sad state of affairs if that is in fact the case.
When I look at pictures of the earth that were taken from one of the Apollo flights, it amazes me at how any of us can feel alone, set apart, or feel we have no impact on the earth as a whole. I don't believe we have a deep appreciation for our planet, what it takes for us to exist here, or how important it is to preserve our precious home. Some of us only see the bad in the world, the injustice, the crime, the ones that suffer, whether it's your own personal experience, or that of someone you care about. But what about all the good, the beauty, the nature, the moments of peace and hamony that is felt by all of us from time to time? It's there....it's always there.....but it's more about how you perceive the world you live in, and how you see yourself and your abilities to heal the things and people that are broken, as opposed to taking what you can while you're here. After all, your time can be up at any given moment, with you embracing your death, or either leave kicking and screaming to stay......and what you'll be left with will be thoughts of how you lived here, what you did to help nuture not only yourself, but others and the earth as a whole.
My thoughts lately have been not so much about what I can get, or how I might be recognized while I'm here, but what I might contribute to make the earth a better place in which to live. Most of us feel our hands are tied, that in order to help make change you need money, power, position....etc. Which is quite interesting because I have none of those, yet still am convinced and hopeful that I have something within me that can help mend and heal the earth. There is much work to improve the environment from waste and toxic fumes, but in order to help people be more mindful of the damage that's being done to the earth, they have to appreciate the fact that the earth IS their home. You can have your physical home in which to dwell, and make some changes......the car you drive....the way you handle your trash, etc.......but what about how you choose to BE on this earth. Are there things about your attitudes and mindsets that really keep those around you stirred up and stressed out, only focused on what they have, how they should use their money, and how they need to spend their time...... not really understanding that your negative, judgemental, and pessimistic thoughts steal any good and positive energy, and replaces it with fear, self-centeredness, righteous indignation, and an overall unrest?
These things have nothing to do with hope for the future, they only focus on the lack of, instead of abundance. It steals moments of what could be filled with peace, harmony, and joy, and replaces them with nothing that nurtures or helps sustain us in this life. In other words, whatever miseries you have and dwell on, is passed on to those around you......the ones you love the most. It might help first up if we all realize and understand that all of us are suffering with our own stuff.....whether physical, emotional or otherwise. We all have things to face, crosses to bear, fears to overcome, etc......so it really serves no purpose for us to focus or dwell on our own misfortunes, but maybe be in a position to listen instead.
One thing that most of us don't realize is, our lives are not all that interesting to those around us, albeit it they care.....but don't really need to hear the details each day. There are SO many interesting and uplifting things to focus on and talk about besides our own struggles. It's likely those around us are fully aware of our situation, but don't need to be reminded each day, and might appreciate our ability to ask questions about their life instead.
In other words, if we expect the New Year to bring something different, we have to think about ourselves and how we fit in this world differently. Whatever we are experiencing or how we experience it, will only be magnified if we keep rehashing our own situation, but instead noticing that others are going through something comparable if not worse than you. So the change is more about our attitude, and how our attitude can help heal and change the rest of the earth.
So you can hope for more money, losing weight, a better job, or a healthier relationship for the New Year, which are all well and good. But just remember, those all require a responsibility on your part. They all require a willingness to change our attitudes, our ability to discipline ourselves, our courage to hold ourselves accountable, and the desire to listen instead of talking. Wishing for something to happen in the New Year will not make it happen, but a belief that God has only good things for your life, and that you do deserve to experience peace, joy and contentment in this life, will in fact change the earth. We were not put here to see how much we could juggle or how much money we could make, for none of that lasts. We can either contribute to the busy-ness and craziness of life, and see there is nothing we can do to help change the earth and those around us, or we can step back and embrace hope that this New Year will be different.
Change is coming, but not in the way you're expecting it to come, so you might as well work on the one thing you have control over in this life........your attitude, your willingness to accept trials and tribulations, not only in your life, but the world as a whole, and your awareness that how you behave, and the things you say and focus on, will in fact be the hope for the New Year.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
New Habits
The new year approaching feels very different for me for some reason, and I'm not quite sure why, except to say I see something that is badly needed in the lives of so many different people I cross each day....including mine.........and that is change. I believe as much as change is a part of our everyday life, most of us tend to focus on things staying the same, because making a change, or in this case starting a new habit, requires that we let something go in order to start something new. Hmmmm...you say.....sounds like work to me. Why would I want to add something to the list of things I can't keep up with already? Well, it might surprise you, and a pleasant one at that, that making a change of some kind, starting new habits, can actually help you navigate more freely in this life.
I think that so many of us are confused as to how you find that precious commodity....time. You allow yourself to easily get caught up in how you spend your money.......making sure you're up to date with the rest of your friends, neighbors.....the world. Gadgets and passtimes that are not only extravigant, but costly as well. Now I realize it sounds as if I'm getting ready to lecture about money, but you can put your calculators and checkbooks away.....for that's not the case. I would rather focus on how we get caught up in spending money as a habit on things that are not necessarily good for us, or even meaningful. So many things we do are an effort to fill up time and space.....not because we really enjoy what we're doing. In other words, it's something that society made you think you needed or wanted, and before you knew what hit you, you were on the same road........doing, wanting, and spending money for the same things without even being aware of what you were doing.
Sort of like reading these blogs. You were on the merry-go-round, going so fast that when you looked out, it was just a blurr, where you couldn't recognize what was happening, how long you had been on there, or more importantly why. All you wanted was to get off for a while, but you didn't know how because you had been on for so long. You were caught up in staying on because everyone else was on it, and if you got off, you felt like you would lose your place, or your friends. It seemed like the thing to do, for you kept seeing others jump on, so you felt it was your responsibility to jump aboard yourself. Then out of nowhere......you started reading this and started asking yourself questions about your life, your focus, your time.......etc. Well.....it's bound to happen. I was endlessly roaming the earth until something or someone caught my attention, and I knew, without a doubt that something had to change, even though I wasn't sure at the time what that was..........just knew I had to get off the merry-go-round and catch my breathe.
Now I would imagine that by now you're asking yourself what habits need to be nipped in the bud, and what new ones needs to be added. I could very easily start a list if you'd like. Maybe some of them will ring a bell.
1. Smoking
2. Overeating
3. No exercise
4. Negative attitude
5. Porn
6. Lying
7. Being abusive
8. Spending money you don't have
9. Living beyond your means
10. Not spending time with family
11. Watching too much television
12. Being late
13. Not being thankful for anything
14. Drinking
Well...I'll stop there....and see how many resonate with you. Habits.......and as you can see, they are basically all self-focused. Having what you want, when you want it and how you want it.....with no understanding that there is nothing positive at the end of those roads if you continue to stay on them. All of them say to the world, I am important, because I have this now, because it makes me feel good and superior......but it has nothing to do with offering anything to the outside world .....it says you are only interested in what makes you feel good. As long as you get to have, keep, or experience something for yourself, then that's all you're interested in. No matter the cost to you, or more profoundly, to someone else in your life......you want the goods, whatever they are.
No wonder everyone has a hard time sleeping.... with that attitude. How can anything good come from it? How can anyone ever experience peace, joy, or contentment in this world, when we pull inward, instead of reaching outward.....hanging on for dear life those things that we profess we could never change, for after all........our life would be perfect if everyone else would change around us.
We all wanted a new president, and hopefully this one will bring change, because I truly believe if we don't at least try to do something to promote change....change on so many different levels, we will all continue to go broke, lose our homes, die from obesity, lose our families to our addictions, and continue to see our lives as one of lacking instead of embracing one of abundance.
I have heard that a new habit takes 30 days to take root in your life, and at that point, it's like brushing your teeth each day. You don't even have to think about it...you just do it. All it takes is the desire and the decision to make the choice to change something in your life you know is not good, healthy or destructive. As the drug ad says.......JUST SAY NO!!!!
You've already been thinking about it.....but for whatever reason can't find the motivation to stop. Well.......it's January 2009.......how many more years do you want to be a slave to your habit, no matter what it is? If you need help....seek help. If you need a reason....find a good reason. But you can be sure of one thing.........change is coming, you can either be a part of it......or turn your head and ignore the signs.
So ask yourself for once......what can I expect to gain from my habit? Does it make me feel good or good and guilty? What am I jeopardizing in my life if I continue? What could I hang onto that is good in this life if I let go of just one bad habit this year? Or what wonderful surprise would I be blessed with if I started a good and healthy habit?
That's up to you I suppose.
I think that so many of us are confused as to how you find that precious commodity....time. You allow yourself to easily get caught up in how you spend your money.......making sure you're up to date with the rest of your friends, neighbors.....the world. Gadgets and passtimes that are not only extravigant, but costly as well. Now I realize it sounds as if I'm getting ready to lecture about money, but you can put your calculators and checkbooks away.....for that's not the case. I would rather focus on how we get caught up in spending money as a habit on things that are not necessarily good for us, or even meaningful. So many things we do are an effort to fill up time and space.....not because we really enjoy what we're doing. In other words, it's something that society made you think you needed or wanted, and before you knew what hit you, you were on the same road........doing, wanting, and spending money for the same things without even being aware of what you were doing.
Sort of like reading these blogs. You were on the merry-go-round, going so fast that when you looked out, it was just a blurr, where you couldn't recognize what was happening, how long you had been on there, or more importantly why. All you wanted was to get off for a while, but you didn't know how because you had been on for so long. You were caught up in staying on because everyone else was on it, and if you got off, you felt like you would lose your place, or your friends. It seemed like the thing to do, for you kept seeing others jump on, so you felt it was your responsibility to jump aboard yourself. Then out of nowhere......you started reading this and started asking yourself questions about your life, your focus, your time.......etc. Well.....it's bound to happen. I was endlessly roaming the earth until something or someone caught my attention, and I knew, without a doubt that something had to change, even though I wasn't sure at the time what that was..........just knew I had to get off the merry-go-round and catch my breathe.
Now I would imagine that by now you're asking yourself what habits need to be nipped in the bud, and what new ones needs to be added. I could very easily start a list if you'd like. Maybe some of them will ring a bell.
1. Smoking
2. Overeating
3. No exercise
4. Negative attitude
5. Porn
6. Lying
7. Being abusive
8. Spending money you don't have
9. Living beyond your means
10. Not spending time with family
11. Watching too much television
12. Being late
13. Not being thankful for anything
14. Drinking
Well...I'll stop there....and see how many resonate with you. Habits.......and as you can see, they are basically all self-focused. Having what you want, when you want it and how you want it.....with no understanding that there is nothing positive at the end of those roads if you continue to stay on them. All of them say to the world, I am important, because I have this now, because it makes me feel good and superior......but it has nothing to do with offering anything to the outside world .....it says you are only interested in what makes you feel good. As long as you get to have, keep, or experience something for yourself, then that's all you're interested in. No matter the cost to you, or more profoundly, to someone else in your life......you want the goods, whatever they are.
No wonder everyone has a hard time sleeping.... with that attitude. How can anything good come from it? How can anyone ever experience peace, joy, or contentment in this world, when we pull inward, instead of reaching outward.....hanging on for dear life those things that we profess we could never change, for after all........our life would be perfect if everyone else would change around us.
We all wanted a new president, and hopefully this one will bring change, because I truly believe if we don't at least try to do something to promote change....change on so many different levels, we will all continue to go broke, lose our homes, die from obesity, lose our families to our addictions, and continue to see our lives as one of lacking instead of embracing one of abundance.
I have heard that a new habit takes 30 days to take root in your life, and at that point, it's like brushing your teeth each day. You don't even have to think about it...you just do it. All it takes is the desire and the decision to make the choice to change something in your life you know is not good, healthy or destructive. As the drug ad says.......JUST SAY NO!!!!
You've already been thinking about it.....but for whatever reason can't find the motivation to stop. Well.......it's January 2009.......how many more years do you want to be a slave to your habit, no matter what it is? If you need help....seek help. If you need a reason....find a good reason. But you can be sure of one thing.........change is coming, you can either be a part of it......or turn your head and ignore the signs.
So ask yourself for once......what can I expect to gain from my habit? Does it make me feel good or good and guilty? What am I jeopardizing in my life if I continue? What could I hang onto that is good in this life if I let go of just one bad habit this year? Or what wonderful surprise would I be blessed with if I started a good and healthy habit?
That's up to you I suppose.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Finding Balance
Balance. A tricky and precarious thing in our lives, but something we are basically forced to not only find from one day to the next, learn to incorporate it in most situations, but most importantly, find ways in which to hang onto it once we've found it. According to my dear friend Webster, which I am convinced I could not live without, balance has several definitions.....but there are of course a couple that really stand out for me. Mental and emotional stability, and the pleasing harmony of various elements. Sounds like a nice place in which "to be" doesn't it..... and shouldn't be so hard to find, but you would be surprised how many people I come across, who for whatever reason can't find it, no matter how hard they try.
Is balance something that's taught as a child, where those first precious steps of swaying back and forth help them to eventually figure out the formula for standing on their own? Or is it found when they get older and see what they can get away with as far as their parents are concerned?Of course there is really no awareness of what is being learned.....at least not until later in life. And more often than not, struggled with for a lifetime because of the "trying" that gets in the way of just wanting true simplicity, but not being able to find it no matter which road you take.
However, as adults, we can either choose to find balance in our lives, or choose not to have it.....it doesn't automatically come, and unfortunately that decision doesn't necessarily come unless you've been faced with a stressful situation that demands that you make some changes. Something has you confused, frustrated, tired, and physically drained, and you realize that if you did in fact have balance at some point, you've lost it and need to regroup. Some people would see this as a bad place in which to dwell, but I actually found it to be the most comforting. Why you ask? Because I totally believe that change can't occur until you hit bottom, and either wallow in the pit, or dig deep inside your soul for the strength and courage you need to crawl your way back up. This is in fact the moment in which we learn life's lessons.....so how can it be a bad thing?
Most likely at this point you feel quite vulnerable, and anything BUT balanced. I describe myself as that of an onion that has been peeled away, until there is nothing left.......completely raw. That if there were any answers at all to this life, I would have to find them now in order to survive the elements. Like being stranded in the wilderness, without the proper equipment or clothing to keep you protected, wondering if you will be rescued, or if in fact these are your last moments in life. You utter words like......why me God.....what is the purpose of my suffering....will I be saved from impending death.....will anyone know who I was, or what I wanted to do with my life? As you can see, being off balance can force one to do one thing........and that is to in fact "right" themselves.
What is my point? Well maybe I'm in the midst myself of seeking an understanding a "gap" of sorts, that needs to be appreciated and understood. In fact if it were more clearly understood, life would be a softer place in which to fall for so many of us if we could grasp that most profound space, that doesn't have to imply the worst....but in fact puts us all in a position of restoration. After all......doesn't it stand to reason that in order to gain motion in order to rise back up.....we have to have allowed ourselves the permission to reach a bottom of sorts?
So in essence in order to be restored, you have to be in the midst of something that implies the need to be restored. It's no longer important as to the why's or how of a situation.....only the acceptance of what is, and the desire and determination to move forward, not only expecting something different for yourself, but realizing that "something" will ultimately restore the balance that was lost.
I know...I'm sitting here wondering what I just said.....but I'm hoping desperately that it made sense, because I do find myself searching frantically for the words that might explain my own personal plight with balance......but in fact realizing that things that are off balance will, because of the laws of gravity, and just God's true purpose for our lives, lead us to find a way in which to "right itself."
Is balance something that's taught as a child, where those first precious steps of swaying back and forth help them to eventually figure out the formula for standing on their own? Or is it found when they get older and see what they can get away with as far as their parents are concerned?Of course there is really no awareness of what is being learned.....at least not until later in life. And more often than not, struggled with for a lifetime because of the "trying" that gets in the way of just wanting true simplicity, but not being able to find it no matter which road you take.
However, as adults, we can either choose to find balance in our lives, or choose not to have it.....it doesn't automatically come, and unfortunately that decision doesn't necessarily come unless you've been faced with a stressful situation that demands that you make some changes. Something has you confused, frustrated, tired, and physically drained, and you realize that if you did in fact have balance at some point, you've lost it and need to regroup. Some people would see this as a bad place in which to dwell, but I actually found it to be the most comforting. Why you ask? Because I totally believe that change can't occur until you hit bottom, and either wallow in the pit, or dig deep inside your soul for the strength and courage you need to crawl your way back up. This is in fact the moment in which we learn life's lessons.....so how can it be a bad thing?
Most likely at this point you feel quite vulnerable, and anything BUT balanced. I describe myself as that of an onion that has been peeled away, until there is nothing left.......completely raw. That if there were any answers at all to this life, I would have to find them now in order to survive the elements. Like being stranded in the wilderness, without the proper equipment or clothing to keep you protected, wondering if you will be rescued, or if in fact these are your last moments in life. You utter words like......why me God.....what is the purpose of my suffering....will I be saved from impending death.....will anyone know who I was, or what I wanted to do with my life? As you can see, being off balance can force one to do one thing........and that is to in fact "right" themselves.
What is my point? Well maybe I'm in the midst myself of seeking an understanding a "gap" of sorts, that needs to be appreciated and understood. In fact if it were more clearly understood, life would be a softer place in which to fall for so many of us if we could grasp that most profound space, that doesn't have to imply the worst....but in fact puts us all in a position of restoration. After all......doesn't it stand to reason that in order to gain motion in order to rise back up.....we have to have allowed ourselves the permission to reach a bottom of sorts?
So in essence in order to be restored, you have to be in the midst of something that implies the need to be restored. It's no longer important as to the why's or how of a situation.....only the acceptance of what is, and the desire and determination to move forward, not only expecting something different for yourself, but realizing that "something" will ultimately restore the balance that was lost.
I know...I'm sitting here wondering what I just said.....but I'm hoping desperately that it made sense, because I do find myself searching frantically for the words that might explain my own personal plight with balance......but in fact realizing that things that are off balance will, because of the laws of gravity, and just God's true purpose for our lives, lead us to find a way in which to "right itself."
Monday, December 15, 2008
True Humility
Does anyone know what this means? I myself have been on a long journey through this life, and as much as I hate to say it, haven't come across too many people who display this particular behavior.....including myself. According to Webster, humility is to have or to show a consciousness of one's defects or shortcomings; not proud, unpretentious.......to lower in pride, to be modest. Well....for me, I could have stopped at showing a consciousness of one's defects. I love that. Maybe that's what I mean when I try to explain the term "dying to self." You'd be surprised how many don't understand that term, and I suppose the only reason why I do, is because of books I've read on the subject. One in particular by Aldous Huxley called The Perinnial Philosophy. This is one of those books that you pick up for one reason or other, either the cover looked interesting, it happened to be on the best seller list, or someone suggested you read it. Whatever my reason happened to be that day, I'm grateful for the opportunity to discover the term, "dying the self."
Now with Huxley....he didn't really consider himself to be a full blown Christian, but I question his abilty to discern that fact.....for no matter his belief....he was able to pass onto me a most valuable term, which basically changed my life from that point on. Now, even though I do consider myself a full blown Christian, and some might question my wisdom in reading someone as contraversial a writer of his time.......I was able to read his book, though challenged in ways I had not been in the past, and walk away having discovered the term..... Dying to self.
It was confusing at first, but I was so intrigued by it, I wanted to study it even more, to not only deepen my understanding, but in fact, find a way in which to incorporate it into my daily life. For I was on the verge of discovering, unfortunately later in life as opposed to earlier, that my life was anything but other focused. Appearances can fool you, almost trick you into believing that a person is something other that what they appear to be. Does that stem from the person's own craftiness, or from your inability to see clearly a persons inner workings?
Well, it doesn't really matter, for I have found that we only want others to think and see the best of us instead of the worst, because we are not all that excited about others seeing our flaws.....only our good and positive side. Our intentions are honorable, and we want to live in truth, but in reality, there is always a part of self that wants to be satisfied, recognized, and affirmed in some way. We want to, in some way, find our 20 minutes to fame each day......hoping that someone will see how smart, wise, important, and courageous we are. Do you see how the "self" can take over our lives, even for the well intended? Most find it's more important that they experience those things that stroke the ego, instead of waking up and finding ways in which to die to self, in order to be of service to others.
Unfortunatly the hard part about dying to self, if in fact you choose to embark on that particular journey, is to be more conscious and aware of your shortcomings and defects. OUCH!! I can hear that coming from not only those who are appalled to even think they have any shortcomings or defects, or from those who have had moments of seeing something that needs to change about themselves, but have chosen to stash it away to look through later. And trust me, I can only write this because I've been down that road, and the only reason why I chose to pursue it so passionately, is because I had to start throwing out those things that weighed me down, for my physical afflictions take up too much space as it is.......so something had to go.
I'm sure you're either asking yourself, what is the point in this dying to self theory, or if you do understand it, surely your exempt from realizing you fall into any category I've explained so far. Well, if you have found a way in which to wake up each morning with an awesome sense of peace, joy, and gratitude, even in the midst of your own trials and tribulations and feel nothing unsettling in your gut about you, your behavior, or how others might see you or be affected by your behavior, please feel free to write your own blog defending your theory. I'm sure you could likely have a following of those who would rather cut off their little toes than to look in the mirror and see their imperfections and actually do something to change.
With all this being said......dying to self means that you are willing to recognize there is something so much bigger than your "self" in this world, and if you are ready for the biggest challenge of your life, I welcome you to climb aboard for the ride of your life. For the only way in which to live the life that God meant for us to live, is to see ourselves in this world not as one person, who gets what they want, however much they want, when they want it.....or for their name to be up in lights for all to see how truely wise and special they are.......but to see that we are all special, and are affected in so many different ways by our own willingless to show selflessness and humility.
Now with Huxley....he didn't really consider himself to be a full blown Christian, but I question his abilty to discern that fact.....for no matter his belief....he was able to pass onto me a most valuable term, which basically changed my life from that point on. Now, even though I do consider myself a full blown Christian, and some might question my wisdom in reading someone as contraversial a writer of his time.......I was able to read his book, though challenged in ways I had not been in the past, and walk away having discovered the term..... Dying to self.
It was confusing at first, but I was so intrigued by it, I wanted to study it even more, to not only deepen my understanding, but in fact, find a way in which to incorporate it into my daily life. For I was on the verge of discovering, unfortunately later in life as opposed to earlier, that my life was anything but other focused. Appearances can fool you, almost trick you into believing that a person is something other that what they appear to be. Does that stem from the person's own craftiness, or from your inability to see clearly a persons inner workings?
Well, it doesn't really matter, for I have found that we only want others to think and see the best of us instead of the worst, because we are not all that excited about others seeing our flaws.....only our good and positive side. Our intentions are honorable, and we want to live in truth, but in reality, there is always a part of self that wants to be satisfied, recognized, and affirmed in some way. We want to, in some way, find our 20 minutes to fame each day......hoping that someone will see how smart, wise, important, and courageous we are. Do you see how the "self" can take over our lives, even for the well intended? Most find it's more important that they experience those things that stroke the ego, instead of waking up and finding ways in which to die to self, in order to be of service to others.
Unfortunatly the hard part about dying to self, if in fact you choose to embark on that particular journey, is to be more conscious and aware of your shortcomings and defects. OUCH!! I can hear that coming from not only those who are appalled to even think they have any shortcomings or defects, or from those who have had moments of seeing something that needs to change about themselves, but have chosen to stash it away to look through later. And trust me, I can only write this because I've been down that road, and the only reason why I chose to pursue it so passionately, is because I had to start throwing out those things that weighed me down, for my physical afflictions take up too much space as it is.......so something had to go.
I'm sure you're either asking yourself, what is the point in this dying to self theory, or if you do understand it, surely your exempt from realizing you fall into any category I've explained so far. Well, if you have found a way in which to wake up each morning with an awesome sense of peace, joy, and gratitude, even in the midst of your own trials and tribulations and feel nothing unsettling in your gut about you, your behavior, or how others might see you or be affected by your behavior, please feel free to write your own blog defending your theory. I'm sure you could likely have a following of those who would rather cut off their little toes than to look in the mirror and see their imperfections and actually do something to change.
With all this being said......dying to self means that you are willing to recognize there is something so much bigger than your "self" in this world, and if you are ready for the biggest challenge of your life, I welcome you to climb aboard for the ride of your life. For the only way in which to live the life that God meant for us to live, is to see ourselves in this world not as one person, who gets what they want, however much they want, when they want it.....or for their name to be up in lights for all to see how truely wise and special they are.......but to see that we are all special, and are affected in so many different ways by our own willingless to show selflessness and humility.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Choosing Wisely During A Recession
There are so many ways in which to approach the current economic situation we are faced with today. We can either tense up, get angry, fearful and point the finger.....or we can take this opportunity to make changes in our own lives. What changes are those you ask? Well, I believe it gives us all the chance to look at our own personal financial situation to see where we are spending our money, and how we can get through this recession without feeling shortchanged, so to speak. Whether it's disciplining ourselves to pay off credit cards and only pay with cash, letting go of buying things that are not absolutely necessary, or finding ways in which to make a dollar go further.......the point is, believing that you can in fact make adjustments that will make this recession easier to cope with.
Discipline is a very hard thing to incorporate into your life, especially when it comes to buying things that you are entitled to, because you work very hard for your money.....and there is nothing wrong with having specific ways in which we want to spend that hard earned money. Also....if you think that you are exempt from being a part of this recession, you are sadly mistaken.....for we are all a part of it in some way. That would be like saying you have no part in global warming....which of course is absurd. Your car affects the atmosphere just as much as anyone elses does, so it's time to acknowledge how you fit into the grand scheme of things.
It may be time for us all to think about making sacrifices, and instead of seeing the lack of, transform our thinking into an abundance, not of you getting what you want, when you want it, ignoring the cost.......but seeing there are so many other ways in which to be satisfied with a more modest mindset. This all has to do with learning humility and realizing that less is more........and more importantly, your willingness to scale back on your spending will make a statement to those around you. They will see how you handle your thoughts about money, how you choose to spend it, save it, and more profoundly seeing that you have clearly set your priorities in this life, and have chosen wisdom about your spending, instead of blatently ignoring the fact that we all are affected by the recession.
We all have dreams and wishes of how we want our lives to look, things we'd like to have and waited a long time to get, but if we really want to choose wisdom and realize that we can make a difference in how we get through hard times, it will be to recognize how we can very easily scale down, save for those things that we truly want in this life and mean the most, and let the rest go.
So before making plans to spend money you don't really have, or expecting someone to spend their own hard earned money on something that is only temporary, when you know in your heart and mind there are other ways in which to wisely spend or invest your money, stop and realize how your next move could have an impact on those around you. We all want what we want, or say yes to those we love, when we know we really need to say no.........but you can, whether you believe it of not, make a profound and valuable statement by stepping back and choosing wisdom instead.
Discipline is a very hard thing to incorporate into your life, especially when it comes to buying things that you are entitled to, because you work very hard for your money.....and there is nothing wrong with having specific ways in which we want to spend that hard earned money. Also....if you think that you are exempt from being a part of this recession, you are sadly mistaken.....for we are all a part of it in some way. That would be like saying you have no part in global warming....which of course is absurd. Your car affects the atmosphere just as much as anyone elses does, so it's time to acknowledge how you fit into the grand scheme of things.
It may be time for us all to think about making sacrifices, and instead of seeing the lack of, transform our thinking into an abundance, not of you getting what you want, when you want it, ignoring the cost.......but seeing there are so many other ways in which to be satisfied with a more modest mindset. This all has to do with learning humility and realizing that less is more........and more importantly, your willingness to scale back on your spending will make a statement to those around you. They will see how you handle your thoughts about money, how you choose to spend it, save it, and more profoundly seeing that you have clearly set your priorities in this life, and have chosen wisdom about your spending, instead of blatently ignoring the fact that we all are affected by the recession.
We all have dreams and wishes of how we want our lives to look, things we'd like to have and waited a long time to get, but if we really want to choose wisdom and realize that we can make a difference in how we get through hard times, it will be to recognize how we can very easily scale down, save for those things that we truly want in this life and mean the most, and let the rest go.
So before making plans to spend money you don't really have, or expecting someone to spend their own hard earned money on something that is only temporary, when you know in your heart and mind there are other ways in which to wisely spend or invest your money, stop and realize how your next move could have an impact on those around you. We all want what we want, or say yes to those we love, when we know we really need to say no.........but you can, whether you believe it of not, make a profound and valuable statement by stepping back and choosing wisdom instead.
Friday, November 21, 2008
"In Anticipation"
The holidays are such a glorious and joyful time of the year. The brisk cold air brings with it anticipation of our Thanksgiving feast, time with our families, and the joy that comes with choosing the perfect gift for a loved one at Christmas. We bring out our favorite recipes that have become a family tradition, and those treasured ornaments handed down through the years. The smells of gingerbread, cinnamon, and pine cones fill each corner of the house with love, as comforting and easy as watching the snow fall and blanketing the rooftops. The lights twinkle against the dark sky, while smoke billows from the chimneys from a nice cozy fire.........these are all things we think about when the holidays roll around each year.
However, things can get in the way of our hanging on to that dream of the perfect Christmas that Norman Rockwell depicts on the front of LIFE magazines from years ago, especially with the current state of the economy and people losing their jobs. We are all afraid to spend money, for we don't know how bad it's going to get, and quite frankly I'm sure many have felt as I have, where your trip to the grocery store is quite different than it was six months ago. Instead of making several desserts, or having turkey and ham, we realize that we will have to scale down our menu, in hopes of not taking away from the traditional Christmas dinner.
I think the best way in which to handle this, is asking people to bring a dish to share, instead of one person taking on the responsibility of the whole meal. That way it's not a burden, but a joint effort on everyone's part, and a more appropriate way in which to celebrate the bringing together of loved ones in order to celebrate the holidays.
The same can be said for buying gifts. Many families draw names, so that you're responsible for buying one gift, instead of struggling to come up with the money to buy several. Or, you can even decide to not buy gifts in your family, but instead preparing a meal together and offering it to a family in need. The holidays should not be about going into debt, but about celebrating the birth of Christ, and stopping for a moment and remembering how much our loved ones mean to us, especially when we are all at the mercy of today's economy and being forced to make decisions to stay afloat.
We can still enjoy the Norman Rockwell Christmas, using our last years decorations, table cloths, and scaled down menu's, and making a conscious decision to simplify the holidays instead of having the need to elaborate. People love handmade and home cooked items, which can be very inexpensive to make, and appreciate the love and time it took to make them.
I hope we can all focus on the true meaning of Christmas this year, remembering that even when faced with not knowing what to expect after the holidays are over, we can still enjoy those things that bring us peace and joy, whether it's driving around looking at the Christmas lights, or stopping by a friend's house for eggnog and fruitcake.
The world needs love, laughter, understanding, and compassion this year, and a belief that God will bless us all, even in the midst of bad times.....which ultimately gives us true reason to live "in anticipation."
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Blessed New Year!
However, things can get in the way of our hanging on to that dream of the perfect Christmas that Norman Rockwell depicts on the front of LIFE magazines from years ago, especially with the current state of the economy and people losing their jobs. We are all afraid to spend money, for we don't know how bad it's going to get, and quite frankly I'm sure many have felt as I have, where your trip to the grocery store is quite different than it was six months ago. Instead of making several desserts, or having turkey and ham, we realize that we will have to scale down our menu, in hopes of not taking away from the traditional Christmas dinner.
I think the best way in which to handle this, is asking people to bring a dish to share, instead of one person taking on the responsibility of the whole meal. That way it's not a burden, but a joint effort on everyone's part, and a more appropriate way in which to celebrate the bringing together of loved ones in order to celebrate the holidays.
The same can be said for buying gifts. Many families draw names, so that you're responsible for buying one gift, instead of struggling to come up with the money to buy several. Or, you can even decide to not buy gifts in your family, but instead preparing a meal together and offering it to a family in need. The holidays should not be about going into debt, but about celebrating the birth of Christ, and stopping for a moment and remembering how much our loved ones mean to us, especially when we are all at the mercy of today's economy and being forced to make decisions to stay afloat.
We can still enjoy the Norman Rockwell Christmas, using our last years decorations, table cloths, and scaled down menu's, and making a conscious decision to simplify the holidays instead of having the need to elaborate. People love handmade and home cooked items, which can be very inexpensive to make, and appreciate the love and time it took to make them.
I hope we can all focus on the true meaning of Christmas this year, remembering that even when faced with not knowing what to expect after the holidays are over, we can still enjoy those things that bring us peace and joy, whether it's driving around looking at the Christmas lights, or stopping by a friend's house for eggnog and fruitcake.
The world needs love, laughter, understanding, and compassion this year, and a belief that God will bless us all, even in the midst of bad times.....which ultimately gives us true reason to live "in anticipation."
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Blessed New Year!
Monday, November 3, 2008
"Opinions"
According to my friend Webster: An opinion is a belief not based on absolute certainty or positive knowledge, but on what seems true, valid, or probable to one's own mind; judgment. Of course I believe the key word here is "seems", because there really is no real validity when it comes to opinions.......only speculation, however, the word that stands out to me is "judgement". And as you can plainly see, it sits alone, all by itself. Now maybe I should have titled this judgment, because in essence that is the premise for having opinions, but I think it's interesting how they can co-mingle.
Right now, I want to focus on what happens when our opinions come into play. When we are faced with a set of circumstances or with a person that is the least bit different than ourselves, something inside our brain tells us it's time to gather information.... i.e...think ,ponder, evaluate, surmise, or assess, so that we can actually come up with how we will choose to interact or relate to the situation or person. Gathering that information involves delving into everything that we have experienced or exposed to since we were able to remember as a child. Where we lived, how we were raised, our school experiences, what we ate, what sort of environment we lived in.....etc. It's our core makeup. Just as a used car has been through one or several owners, moved around to different places, and either been repaired repeatedly, or maintained regularly........what you see at any particular point would show you how it's evolved over the years. It will perform according to how it's been treated.
Now granted we aren't cars, but my point is, we are all coming from a completely different place in this life, so it stands to reason that our opinions are going to be based on our past experiences.... and you notice, there is no point in focusing on whether they were good or bad, they just are what they are, and while we might think that our opinions are surely right in any given situation, they are still not based on the truth. We usually base our opinions on the outward appearance of something or someone......thinking that if it doesn't challenge us in any way to change our usual way of thinking, then they could end up on our approved list. However, if it has a certain look or feel about it that makes us the least bit uncomfortable, then they will end up on our unapproved list.
Of course I'm sure you've figured out by now that this is more about opinions about other people as opposed to situations in our life. I believe we put much more time and effort in injecting our opinions about other people that don't suit us, instead of taking the time to get to know them better. I wonder what difference it would make if we all got really comfortable with the fact that we are very different, in many ways, and everyone has something to offer because of who they are and where they came from, whether you grew up in the mountains of Appalachia, or Park Ave. in New York City. Much could be gained from either person.......becasue both are madeup of past experiences, either good or bad, and most often as different as two people might be, could most often find a common ground in which to share.
People are different for a reason. God made us that way...... not so we could stand out and profess our superiority while judging others based on our opinions of that person, which are not truth based, but rather express our humility in realizing that we all come from a different place and never have the right to approve or disapprove of anyone. We cannot possibly understand who someone truly is until we realize they could have a life and past that has challenged them in ways that you could never imagine possible.
Opinions about others are most often based on what is unknown, as opposed to what is known. So with realizing that, doesn't it make you want to stop, the next time you rear up and say something negative about another person, and understand in all actuality, you don't really know the whole story. After all, wouldn't you hope that if someone were saying something about you, that it would be based on the truth as opposed to speculation?
Right now, I want to focus on what happens when our opinions come into play. When we are faced with a set of circumstances or with a person that is the least bit different than ourselves, something inside our brain tells us it's time to gather information.... i.e...think ,ponder, evaluate, surmise, or assess, so that we can actually come up with how we will choose to interact or relate to the situation or person. Gathering that information involves delving into everything that we have experienced or exposed to since we were able to remember as a child. Where we lived, how we were raised, our school experiences, what we ate, what sort of environment we lived in.....etc. It's our core makeup. Just as a used car has been through one or several owners, moved around to different places, and either been repaired repeatedly, or maintained regularly........what you see at any particular point would show you how it's evolved over the years. It will perform according to how it's been treated.
Now granted we aren't cars, but my point is, we are all coming from a completely different place in this life, so it stands to reason that our opinions are going to be based on our past experiences.... and you notice, there is no point in focusing on whether they were good or bad, they just are what they are, and while we might think that our opinions are surely right in any given situation, they are still not based on the truth. We usually base our opinions on the outward appearance of something or someone......thinking that if it doesn't challenge us in any way to change our usual way of thinking, then they could end up on our approved list. However, if it has a certain look or feel about it that makes us the least bit uncomfortable, then they will end up on our unapproved list.
Of course I'm sure you've figured out by now that this is more about opinions about other people as opposed to situations in our life. I believe we put much more time and effort in injecting our opinions about other people that don't suit us, instead of taking the time to get to know them better. I wonder what difference it would make if we all got really comfortable with the fact that we are very different, in many ways, and everyone has something to offer because of who they are and where they came from, whether you grew up in the mountains of Appalachia, or Park Ave. in New York City. Much could be gained from either person.......becasue both are madeup of past experiences, either good or bad, and most often as different as two people might be, could most often find a common ground in which to share.
People are different for a reason. God made us that way...... not so we could stand out and profess our superiority while judging others based on our opinions of that person, which are not truth based, but rather express our humility in realizing that we all come from a different place and never have the right to approve or disapprove of anyone. We cannot possibly understand who someone truly is until we realize they could have a life and past that has challenged them in ways that you could never imagine possible.
Opinions about others are most often based on what is unknown, as opposed to what is known. So with realizing that, doesn't it make you want to stop, the next time you rear up and say something negative about another person, and understand in all actuality, you don't really know the whole story. After all, wouldn't you hope that if someone were saying something about you, that it would be based on the truth as opposed to speculation?
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