True Humility

Does anyone know what this means? I myself have been on a long journey through this life, and as much as I hate to say it, haven't come across too many people who display this particular behavior.....including myself. According to Webster, humility is to have or to show a consciousness of one's defects or shortcomings; not proud, unpretentious.......to lower in pride, to be modest. Well....for me, I could have stopped at showing a consciousness of one's defects. I love that. Maybe that's what I mean when I try to explain the term "dying to self." You'd be surprised how many don't understand that term, and I suppose the only reason why I do, is because of books I've read on the subject. One in particular by Aldous Huxley called The Perinnial Philosophy. This is one of those books that you pick up for one reason or other, either the cover looked interesting, it happened to be on the best seller list, or someone suggested you read it. Whatever my reason happened to be that day, I'm grateful for the opportunity to discover the term, "dying the self."

Now with Huxley....he didn't really consider himself to be a full blown Christian, but I question his abilty to discern that fact.....for no matter his belief....he was able to pass onto me a most valuable term, which basically changed my life from that point on. Now, even though I do consider myself a full blown Christian, and some might question my wisdom in reading someone as contraversial a writer of his time.......I was able to read his book, though challenged in ways I had not been in the past, and walk away having discovered the term..... Dying to self.

It was confusing at first, but I was so intrigued by it, I wanted to study it even more, to not only deepen my understanding, but in fact, find a way in which to incorporate it into my daily life. For I was on the verge of discovering, unfortunately later in life as opposed to earlier, that my life was anything but other focused. Appearances can fool you, almost trick you into believing that a person is something other that what they appear to be. Does that stem from the person's own craftiness, or from your inability to see clearly a persons inner workings?

Well, it doesn't really matter, for I have found that we only want others to think and see the best of us instead of the worst, because we are not all that excited about others seeing our flaws.....only our good and positive side. Our intentions are honorable, and we want to live in truth, but in reality, there is always a part of self that wants to be satisfied, recognized, and affirmed in some way. We want to, in some way, find our 20 minutes to fame each day......hoping that someone will see how smart, wise, important, and courageous we are. Do you see how the "self" can take over our lives, even for the well intended? Most find it's more important that they experience those things that stroke the ego, instead of waking up and finding ways in which to die to self, in order to be of service to others.

Unfortunatly the hard part about dying to self, if in fact you choose to embark on that particular journey, is to be more conscious and aware of your shortcomings and defects. OUCH!! I can hear that coming from not only those who are appalled to even think they have any shortcomings or defects, or from those who have had moments of seeing something that needs to change about themselves, but have chosen to stash it away to look through later. And trust me, I can only write this because I've been down that road, and the only reason why I chose to pursue it so passionately, is because I had to start throwing out those things that weighed me down, for my physical afflictions take up too much space as it is.......so something had to go.

I'm sure you're either asking yourself, what is the point in this dying to self theory, or if you do understand it, surely your exempt from realizing you fall into any category I've explained so far. Well, if you have found a way in which to wake up each morning with an awesome sense of peace, joy, and gratitude, even in the midst of your own trials and tribulations and feel nothing unsettling in your gut about you, your behavior, or how others might see you or be affected by your behavior, please feel free to write your own blog defending your theory. I'm sure you could likely have a following of those who would rather cut off their little toes than to look in the mirror and see their imperfections and actually do something to change.

With all this being said......dying to self means that you are willing to recognize there is something so much bigger than your "self" in this world, and if you are ready for the biggest challenge of your life, I welcome you to climb aboard for the ride of your life. For the only way in which to live the life that God meant for us to live, is to see ourselves in this world not as one person, who gets what they want, however much they want, when they want it.....or for their name to be up in lights for all to see how truely wise and special they are.......but to see that we are all special, and are affected in so many different ways by our own willingless to show selflessness and humility.