Acceptance

This is something I have written about before, several times in fact, but convinced it's something that most people do not "get" for some reason. So let's start with Webster, as I so often do, and get this out of the way. Acceptance.....to accept what is offered willingly, to receive favorably, to agree or consent to, to believe in, to understand as having a certain meaning. OK.....so that means whatever is in front of you at any given time, that has validity, can be believed in, or trusted to be right, and so we act accordingly allowing it to be, or happen the way it needs to happen. Now that doesn't mean that it's not going to happen without us kicking up a fuss, or even pushing against it so we can get our own way, but you will pay dearly for that stance if you choose to take it.

So why do we see the need to throw up barriers when we're faced with accepting something, where life would be so much easier if we just allow those things that are inevitable to just happen naturally? I think the word here is control. If we aren't ready for the thing we should just accept, we will scratch and claw to find a reason why it's either not the right thing, the right time, or should only happen to someone else. We after all are exempt because.....well because we are who we are, special, exceptional, set apart. As if we have this protective bubble around us that keeps us from experiencing anything that resembles bad, unfortunate, or even sad. Not exactly a place that lends itself for humility or selflessness.

OK....so we're clear on what acceptance is, and why we don't particularly aspire to it, now comes the hard part, and that is facing it head on so we can get on with the rest of our lives. Now some things you don't particularly want to accept can be put off, set aside, put on the shelf if you will, until another time when it might suit. The only problem with that is, while it's being set aside, it sort of multiplies on it's own, so by the time we get back to it.........it's not manageable at all. Like trying to weed a garden that should have been weeded 3 months ago in order for new growth to occur. It's a mess, overgrown, and you have no idea where to start, or even if you want to start.

And don't forget, there is an element of energy and commitment here, where you have to assess how much energy, time, courage and strength you want to put into accepting something. After all, you are allowed to look at a situation, and just do an about face and say no......a flat out no, I will not, cannot accept this, end of story. You are saving absolutely no room for a change of mind. I think it depends on how important the thing is that you need to accept, and what it will take internally to accept it. I myself have had several things over the last 20 years that I have had to accept on some level, with varying degrees of the demands that it took to accept them, and with each one I had to do the same thing. Assess the importance or more simply, prioritize.

Probably the most important element here besides prioritizing is letting go of what others think about you, your situation, your status, your reputation, your lifestyle, for when you're making life decisions, it doesn't matter what other people think, especially when you are dealing with health issues. You're in survival mode and this is no time to try and satisfy or please those around you. In fact it's their turn to learn acceptance of what is going on in your life, not theirs. This is probably THE biggest road block when you're talking about acceptance of something, caring what other people think of you. So if you want to start somewhere, after you realize what needs to be accepted in your life, start with that, knowing that in the end, it doesn't matter beans what other people think of you, or how you're handling your situation, your health, your life, whatever it might be.

Take some time today and see what you are having a hard time accepting, and realize what you can change about it, and what you cannot. Think about the most important things in your life, the most important people, not how young you are, how attractive you need to be, how smart you are, or how much money you have tucked away. All of those things will not last, but true acceptance offers something we are all desperately craving each day we wake up, and that is peace, contentment, happiness, joy, and feeling loved and cared for by those we treasure the most.