Authenticity

This is a tough one for so many people, and good reason. Most of us live to please and satisfy others, while not even considering what we need in our own lives. According to Webster, authentic refers to something or someone being genuine, valid, reliable, trustworthy....to be believed or accepted. Well, I don't know about you, but if I were going to strive for any particular behaviors, those would be at the top of my list. Those are strong, hearty and comforting words, that are not only valued and admired in people you may come across each day, but more importantly within yourself.

We go along in life expecting so much from those around us, but we never stop to think that we should expect it more from ourselves than from others. These are qualities that I believe are most often hard earned, and require a sense of accountability to not only retain, but to keep intact throughout our whole life. So I think the first thing you must do, is to assess your own authenticity. Just as if you were taking a jewel to have it appraised. You want to know its value, it's resale value, or to see if it's even real. You'll see that it's a lot easier than assessing your own personal authenticity. This will take some time.

First thing you might want to look at or question about yourself is......am I real? Now being real is very much like being authentic, though it does have more to do with being sincere or not pretending to be something you're not. This takes great discernment when it comes to assessing the authenticity of someone around you, because these are qualities that you can quite often conjure up to suit the person or the occasion, without actually feeling those qualities at all. But when assessing your own, it's something that you can measure viscerally. You can tell when you're genuinely feeling sincere or real, just like you can tell when you're telling the truth or a lie. It's a gut level sensation.

I think you can also tell when you're working from a place of fear, control, anger, lonliness, or frustration. For however you respond to someone will not sit well.......there is a sense of lacking, wanting, or not being heard, because you're not coming from a place of honesty and truth. What comes out of your mouth has a bitter aftertaste, because your not fully extending or expressing what you really feel. You are too busy trying to pacify and satisfy the others expectations of you, or trying to be perfect, one or the other, or sometimes both.

This can be quite maddening, and honestly.....not healthy at all. Part of the fear in learning or choosing to be authentic, is the fear that comes from knowing those around you might react negatively about your need to be authentic. Remember, most people don't like change, because it disrupts their lives, or requires they look at the truth about their own lives, and realizing the adjustment or changes that need to be made. This takes work.......hard, sometimes agonizing work, but it's like realizing you have a tooth that needs to be pulled. The pain will remain until you get it pulled. Once it's pulled, then you can start eating again.

So let me ask you......how do you expect those around you to be real and sincere, until you're able to practice that yourself? For me, living an authentic life implies freedom. Free from worry, fretting and anxiety, because I know that I've checked myself, my motives, and my intentions, before I speak, trusting that what comes out is the truth. Doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or believes about me....I know that I've checked my gut, and there is peace, not turmoil or chaos. I know that when I walk away, that I'm the same person in my own space that I am in public. No one would be surprised at how I live or behave at home...........it's perfectly consistent to what I show to the outside world. That is true freedom, because you don't need to hide anything from anyone. This is the true meaning of living an authentic life.