Well, I would usually start spitting out a line or two from the Webster on this issue, however, since finding that the word "work" took up almost a whole page, I'll forgo it just this once........except to say......according to Webster, work is a pretty important thing. I'll also share that the word produce is used quite often in the definition, which is not all that surprising. Most of us work in order to produce a particular thing......or offer a particular service. We do it so much that we almost become what we do. We wake up with it, navigate the day with it, ponder it at lunch, with friends, with our family, and then we fall asleep with it on our minds. In fact I'm sure another blog could be written dealing with work and sleepless nights.
Now why do you think we are all so consumed with the issue of work? Well, in order to buy what we need, we have to have money, which requires us to work. Simply the way the world is set up. And usually at a young age, we have already identified what our skills are, and how we plan to make a living for ourselves and our families. Whether it's a skill that requires college or not, is not really the issue here, but rather how our skills begin to reflect who we are in the world, and how we feel about that. There is a considerable amount of pride that comes into play when we think about our jobs, that is if you really like what you do. Again....a whole other topic to write about........people who hate their jobs. I'll just say this, you'd be surprised at how many people out there hate what they do, and can find no way to change that.
Now let's say you got lucky and discovered your gift or skills at some point in your life, and were able to venture out and find a job that makes you feel very productive, proud, and grants you a certain feeling of accomplishment in life. This is good, right? You even like it when someone asks you what you do, because it gives you an opportunity to stand up straight, show someone how smart or creative you are, which of course automatically lets them know around how much money you most likely have coming in each year. Again.....this is a good thing because we all want to feel good about ourselves, and to let others know that you are doing your part in the world....that you can make your own way......and that you have chosen a profession that you can take pride in, especially if the person asking you has a job where they make considerably less money, or in fact has just lost their job, or are too sick to work.
AH....yes.........now we get to the meat of the whole issue......is our job who we really are. Now if you do have a job that you really like and feel a sense of satisfaction about, make decent money, and can buy all the "stuff" you like, then you can pretty much stand in front of the mirror in the morning with a smile on your face and feel a genuine sense of adoration for yourself, right? You see the pride, the intelligence, the level of productivity, the family legacy of a good and solid work ethic. You may not have everything that you wanted in life, and could be happier with a bigger paycheck or nestegg, or retirement plans.......but still with those little unknowns, you can still make it through the primping in the mirror at any given moment.
Now that you're feeling good about yourself, imagine going into work tomorrow and having your boss tell you he has to let you go. Or that your investments just went south, and you have to start all over again at age 60. Or that you still have a job, but you'll have to figure out a way to do it at home, because of the need to cut back on overhead issues at work. Whether it was something you did that caused the layoff, or whether the recession just pulled the rug out from under you, it doesn't matter. The fact remains.......you have just realized that your life is going to be completely different without your job in about a thousand different ways, and so the shock sets in. The alarm clock is still set for 6, so you can get up and get ready for work, have your breakfast, and out the door by 7. Your body has been conditioned for the last 15 years to move, react, function, and prepare itself for a day of work. Whether the work is fastpace, easy going, or even if you have a job at home, where the workload and productivity is still the same, you just happen to do it in your jammies instead of a suit. Seemingly lucky group, but you are still expected to produce no matter what the dress.
Now maybe you're lucky, and your spouse has a good job, or maybe you have some good investments that will tide you over until you find another job, or you've been waiting for an opportunity to go back to school and change your career anyway. These are things that help lessen the blow of losing your job, or being asked to go part time. However......oh man......that word....can either be a brick or a dose of hope kickin in............let's go with someone who just walked outside after being fired with no umbrella and the clouds unload the rain of the century. You not only look like a drowned rat.....you feel like one as well.
Your daily life that you felt was safe and gave you a sense of accomplishment and continuity just got flushed down the drain.....and took your sense of who you are, your self worth, your way of identifying yourself, with it. Seemingly never to be heard from again. At that moment, the fear sets in, the frantic notions of no open doors hits you, and dead on....all at once. Lately it seems that the hog dog venders on the corners, should be replaced with shots of bourbon to ease the shock. If you're not a praying or spiritual person.......I'm sure that would be a welcomed sight.
My point here......and I do have one believe it or not is.........why are we so identified with our jobs to the point that we feel we are nothing without one? Our jobs are not who we are as a person, it's not our self worth, or the things we feel at the core. It's just how we make money to pay for the things that we need. And I know......everyone wants the job that brings in the most money so you can buy the best things in life........but if you take a careful look around sometime, you'll see that the large percentage in the world are low income, or poverty level people. Most often people who had no choice in the matter as to what their profession would be, or even think about having the best things in life. They never even had the chance to identify themselves with what they do in life......they're just surviving.
Now this is not the blog that bashes those who are fortunate to have a good job, and most likely will never lose that job, nor is it about the ones that have worked hard for a long time, make good money, and feel they deserve the best things in life. Or to stand at the corner and hand out dollar bills to those poor people on the street instead of buying the next thing you think you need. This is about what happens to people when they lose their job.......and how it can become a wonderful opportunity to rethink, ponder, re-evaluate your life goals...and more importantly.......who you are as a person. Because once you lose that job, and think your identity was lost as well, then you're left with something to think about....bad or good. And the first time you walk out the door of your house, and run into your neighbor who has not lost his job, you see him as lucky, worthy, fortunate, wise, intelligent....and about 100 other words that identify him as being something better than yourself.
So you go inside, shut the door, have another cup of coffee, and shuffle around in your robe and socks wondering not only why, but what the heck are you suppose to do now? You sit at the kitchen table, looking out the window, take a deep breathe and remember......oh wait.....I do get a months wages coming to me....so we can still eat and not lose our home, at least for right now. But, then you realize.....what then? So again......the mind takes over and it boils down to "self" and what a loser you are, or how surely you're not the type person who would or could lose their job....its just not possible. What will the neighbors and your peers think about you now?
Now there are either some of you out there who have been through this.......or some of you petrifide that you could go through this.......or you're thanking God that you will never have to go through this.......doesn't matter. The bottom line is, is it right to go through life totally identifying yourself with what you do. I would have given up years ago if I had decided I was not worth living on this planet if I saw myself as being sick and nothing else. Being sick is just part of who I am, it's not how I identify myself. So I take what is left and deal with it the best way I know how. Of course this is easy for me to say now, I've been in the position for many years now, but trust me, when you get the rug pulled out from under you physically, and can no longer venture out and be as productive as those around you......you can have a major crisis of self worth, or lack there of.
So, there has to be some way for those who have lost their job, or had it altered in some way with less income, to see they've been given an opportunity to change their life, as opposed to feeling they have lost their identity. Even with all the adjustments you're likely to make or have to make to survive.......it doesn't mean that you have to lose your work ethic, or your need to be productive.....it just means that you might have to think about another way to accomplish those things. It's like turning 80 before you're ready........what do I, or can I possibly do now that I'm 80? Well, even if you are too old to work, you're still the same person at the core that you were when you were working.
There is no point in asking why........trust me on this one ok? If anything....you can learn to ask yourself why not. If you think you are so special, so intelligent, so together, so fortunate, so anything.......that you could or would never be in a position to lose your job......therefore lose your self identity.......then you will always be attached at the hip to your job and never really know who you are without it. If you consider yourself a wise person because of what you do for a living, then you should be able to still see yourself as worthy and wise without nothing.
So.....if you lost your job.....remember.......things happen for a very good reason, even if we don't always know what that reason is.......but it's not the end of you......its the beginning of something new and hopefully exciting. If adjustments need to be made.....then simply make them. You won't be the first person who had to sell their Mercedes for a VW Beetle....and move into a one bedroom apartment. Besides.......thats called adventure living in my book!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sacrifices
Ah yes.......always relish the chance to check out Webster....so here we go. Sacrifice: the act of giving up something or forgoing something valued, for the sake of something having a more pressing claim. In short....basically means giving up something you REALLY want, or think will bring you happiness, for something that far outweighs in value that something you think is so important. Honestly, I don't really hear that word much anymore, which is really alarming, because it implies that people have no idea what their priorities are in life, or what it means to actually wait for those good things in life to come to them, instead of struggling, straining, and pushing to get them. Sounds like another blog in the works on delayed gratification. I'll file that away.
Why or how do I know this? Because I learned the hard way by pushing to get what I thought would bring me peace and happiness, which in fact would ultimately land me in a pile of rubble. Did I learn.......absolutely....... did I lose anything....more than you can imagine.....in fact still paying, but my lessons were hard learned and lasted for many years. Is that necessary.....I don't think so. Do I realize now how I could have handled things differently? Very often. But the one thing that stands out for me, is that in my pushing, wanting, and not waiting, I was willing to sacrifice some really good stuff.......just to have it my way. And of course this is not me having reached perfection by any means....I'm just not where I was ok?
I suppose that means the things I did have in my life, I did not fully value or appreciate. Or even if I did, I saw my life as still lacking in some way, never taking time to be grateful for what was in front of me. So for me.....to continue to chase after that illusive butterfly.......I had to give up something. So my sacrifice was a bad thing......I lost. I gave up what was most precious to me, thinking that peace, happiness, joy, love...etc.....was out "there" somewhere. The loss was tragic.........no other word could describe it for me. A death.
I think the most important thing about sacrifices, is realizing that it has more to do with how it's going to affect other people, as opposed to you getting what you want. Now most of us don't really want to think about that, because we want what we want, when we want it, no matter how frivolous it might be. You work hard, put in long hours, wear yourself thin, and sometimes never gain any headway, so you figure you deserve.....always in a constant mode of deserve. Plus everyone else out there is spending and doing.......and you don't want to look poor or deprived. Heaven forbid.........
Ok....all this is totally understandable......however.....sorry...but I have to use that word when I have to use it...so get over it.........however........is there a person involved in your decision to get what you want? Will decisions have to be made down the road that you won't be happy about having to make because you weren't willing to make sacrifices back then? Now I fully realize this is heavy stuff to be pondered, contemplated and left some of you wiggling in your chairs......but it's because it IS important stuff.....and most often does and will involve people you love and cherish. Besides.....it's the new year.......a good time to incorporate some new and healthy behaviors that will not only enhance your life, but in the lives of those around you. So.........go ahead....BREATHE.......and get over it.....I'm not talking rocket science here.....no extraction involved.......well nothing that will involve the hospital, lets put it that way.
Now I'm talking "gut level" revelations here.....but isn't that what living life is all about? I don't know about you, but over the last year or so, I feel things viscerally, which I completely believe that when you feel things that deeply, it's time to pay attention to a decision you're getting ready to make......or your intent when facing a situation or someone you believe deserves the truth about something. I know...I know........gut level discussions require you to stop and BREATHE......so go ahead. If you don't realize by now that in order to gently navigate this world while you're here, you're gonna have to start to pay attention to your breathing.......then this is your wakeup call.
So........if you need to sacrifice something...what would it be? Is your want list worthy of the true cost? Is it going to turn around and bite you in the rear end at some point, at which time you will likely beat yourself up for not thinking more about who would be affected by your decision? If you let go of having to have this certain thing, no matter the importance at the time, are you likely to be sitting very quietly one day wondering........did I really need that? Did that support my original goals and plans for the future......or did it simply make those goals or plans harder to reach.......or altered them in a way that I would not be able to experience them the way I truly wanted to?
I think the best way to be at peace about making sacrifices, and let's face it.....they do have to be made from time to time....and it's ok......it's a good thing if you use wisdom and your intentions are good, and you are fully aware that others, those that you love WILL be affected. Take time to set priorities in life, and what you're willing to set aside for a later date, so that you can prepare yourself comfortably for that one thing in life you've waited SO long to have. After all.....most of those "things" that we want in life are simply that......things. They have no true meaning, most likely will not be missed in the long run, and for sure are not able to take the place of those things that God intended for us to have.
Does this mean you have to give up those things that you would like to have in this life? No....not at all. But everyone reading this knows what they can do without......you just don't want to think about it and heaven forbid start feeling guilty. Everyone knows what their checkbook looks like.....how much they spend and what they spend it on......as well as having hopes of what they want for their future. Just ask yourself the question now........do those two things jive? If they don't, then you'll wake up each morning with one thing on your mind.......did I need that, and did it support the really gut level important things that I want further down the road?
Now trust me...I realize.......some "stuff" is needed........simple as that. But we all know the difference in what is needed and what is wanted. If you have absolutely no peace of mind, can never wake up with a smile on your face, and never see that everyone and everything around you is a true blessing........then most likely getting "stuff" has gotten in your way.
Hmmmmm.....I guess I should have titled this......"Stuff"......what is it good for.......absolutely nothing!
Why or how do I know this? Because I learned the hard way by pushing to get what I thought would bring me peace and happiness, which in fact would ultimately land me in a pile of rubble. Did I learn.......absolutely....... did I lose anything....more than you can imagine.....in fact still paying, but my lessons were hard learned and lasted for many years. Is that necessary.....I don't think so. Do I realize now how I could have handled things differently? Very often. But the one thing that stands out for me, is that in my pushing, wanting, and not waiting, I was willing to sacrifice some really good stuff.......just to have it my way. And of course this is not me having reached perfection by any means....I'm just not where I was ok?
I suppose that means the things I did have in my life, I did not fully value or appreciate. Or even if I did, I saw my life as still lacking in some way, never taking time to be grateful for what was in front of me. So for me.....to continue to chase after that illusive butterfly.......I had to give up something. So my sacrifice was a bad thing......I lost. I gave up what was most precious to me, thinking that peace, happiness, joy, love...etc.....was out "there" somewhere. The loss was tragic.........no other word could describe it for me. A death.
I think the most important thing about sacrifices, is realizing that it has more to do with how it's going to affect other people, as opposed to you getting what you want. Now most of us don't really want to think about that, because we want what we want, when we want it, no matter how frivolous it might be. You work hard, put in long hours, wear yourself thin, and sometimes never gain any headway, so you figure you deserve.....always in a constant mode of deserve. Plus everyone else out there is spending and doing.......and you don't want to look poor or deprived. Heaven forbid.........
Ok....all this is totally understandable......however.....sorry...but I have to use that word when I have to use it...so get over it.........however........is there a person involved in your decision to get what you want? Will decisions have to be made down the road that you won't be happy about having to make because you weren't willing to make sacrifices back then? Now I fully realize this is heavy stuff to be pondered, contemplated and left some of you wiggling in your chairs......but it's because it IS important stuff.....and most often does and will involve people you love and cherish. Besides.....it's the new year.......a good time to incorporate some new and healthy behaviors that will not only enhance your life, but in the lives of those around you. So.........go ahead....BREATHE.......and get over it.....I'm not talking rocket science here.....no extraction involved.......well nothing that will involve the hospital, lets put it that way.
Now I'm talking "gut level" revelations here.....but isn't that what living life is all about? I don't know about you, but over the last year or so, I feel things viscerally, which I completely believe that when you feel things that deeply, it's time to pay attention to a decision you're getting ready to make......or your intent when facing a situation or someone you believe deserves the truth about something. I know...I know........gut level discussions require you to stop and BREATHE......so go ahead. If you don't realize by now that in order to gently navigate this world while you're here, you're gonna have to start to pay attention to your breathing.......then this is your wakeup call.
So........if you need to sacrifice something...what would it be? Is your want list worthy of the true cost? Is it going to turn around and bite you in the rear end at some point, at which time you will likely beat yourself up for not thinking more about who would be affected by your decision? If you let go of having to have this certain thing, no matter the importance at the time, are you likely to be sitting very quietly one day wondering........did I really need that? Did that support my original goals and plans for the future......or did it simply make those goals or plans harder to reach.......or altered them in a way that I would not be able to experience them the way I truly wanted to?
I think the best way to be at peace about making sacrifices, and let's face it.....they do have to be made from time to time....and it's ok......it's a good thing if you use wisdom and your intentions are good, and you are fully aware that others, those that you love WILL be affected. Take time to set priorities in life, and what you're willing to set aside for a later date, so that you can prepare yourself comfortably for that one thing in life you've waited SO long to have. After all.....most of those "things" that we want in life are simply that......things. They have no true meaning, most likely will not be missed in the long run, and for sure are not able to take the place of those things that God intended for us to have.
Does this mean you have to give up those things that you would like to have in this life? No....not at all. But everyone reading this knows what they can do without......you just don't want to think about it and heaven forbid start feeling guilty. Everyone knows what their checkbook looks like.....how much they spend and what they spend it on......as well as having hopes of what they want for their future. Just ask yourself the question now........do those two things jive? If they don't, then you'll wake up each morning with one thing on your mind.......did I need that, and did it support the really gut level important things that I want further down the road?
Now trust me...I realize.......some "stuff" is needed........simple as that. But we all know the difference in what is needed and what is wanted. If you have absolutely no peace of mind, can never wake up with a smile on your face, and never see that everyone and everything around you is a true blessing........then most likely getting "stuff" has gotten in your way.
Hmmmmm.....I guess I should have titled this......"Stuff"......what is it good for.......absolutely nothing!
Monday, December 21, 2009
A New Years Transformation
With the new year upon us, I would like to challenge you to think about resolutions and what they really mean, what they can show us, and ultimately how we can experience them after they've been made. First of all, most of us really never contemplate the word resolution until a couple of days after christmas, usually after we've indulged in some way with food or drink, or realized that another year has come and gone and we still weren't able to fit into that favorite black dress or suit. Or we may have had time to sit and think about how the past year was experienced, of course most often noticing the things that went wrong, instead of the things that went very well. But whatever the case, it seems time for a bit of contemplation, and then wondering if there might be some changes that need to take place in the year to come, which would ultimately bring us more happiness, peace, and success.
So resolution implies a time to reflect on the past year, and then hopefully some sort of plan of action with hopes of change for the future. Well, sounds like a positive movement, well thought over, well intended, with a little sprinkle of hope, that whatever the plan might be, it could be achieved with discipline and determination. You might even be excited about sharing your resolutions with those around you, in hopes that you would receive adequate encouragement, and a following that would cheer you onto the finish. It all sounds very exciting and well intended.........so how could resolution be bad?
Well......I'm not implying that resolution itself is a bad thing....because of course it motivates us to move forward....to work harder.....to be more focused on our goals.....etc. And even if most of us wait until the week between christmas and new years to ponder these thoughts.....it's still to be commended. However..........I know....don't you hate it when I finally get around to the "however" comment? However.......what would it feel like if I threw a different word into the new years resolution mix.........like for instance......transformation? After all.....you can think and ponder......reflect the past year....and even come up with some good ideas, but ultimately, you are honestly asking yourself to change.......to go from what "was" in the last year, into what you feel needs to be different for the year to come.
All good stuff again.......but if you grasp the concept of transformation, you do of course realize that some action is going to be needed. You can think, ponder, wonder, wish, even come up with good plans....but unless you actually put those plans to work, you won't accomplish anything by the time 2011 rolls around. Again.......all well intended and exciting to think about any change that might be coming, but you will in fact have to take into consideration that many ingredients are needed in this new mix of resolution/transformation........some you may have stored away......some may be easily implemented.......and some you will have to search for, and could take a while to find.
My suggestion is to sit down quietly and make a list. A list of things about your life and about yourself that you would like to see differently in the year to come. Ask yourself some questions like..........do I like myself? Do I provide a soft place to fall for my family, or do I drain them dry as often as possible? Am I determined to talk instead of listen? Do I do anything that makes my life easier or healthier? Do I constantly judge, criticize and belittle those around me, instead of building them up and encouraging them? Do I stay overly busy because it makes me feel worthy? Do I punish people when I don't get what I want by pouting or avoiding them? Do I know when and how to say no? Do I check my motives when I want or need something from someone? Do I promote peace within my family, or chaos? Do I really know what true humility is? Do I allow friends and family to make their decisions, trusting their judgement instead of imposing mine?
These are all good questions for self-reflection...and I'm sure you could add a few of your own to the list......feel free. Just remember that when you do come up with your list, it will bring a sense of freedom and peace within yourself because you've actually begun to think about how you yourself can not only make plans to be better for the new year, but how you can actually put into action those ideas that will ultimately transform you into a vessel that can actually change the world. A vessel that holds peace, harmony, compassion, a sense of otherness, and a genuine need to express selfless love.
It is possible to navigate this world gently....truly it is.... but it does have to start with you. Your attitude, your behavior, your truth, your humility, your sense of otherness, your willingness to change negative energy into positive. So.......have a life changing new year..........transform yourself into something better.
Happy New Year
So resolution implies a time to reflect on the past year, and then hopefully some sort of plan of action with hopes of change for the future. Well, sounds like a positive movement, well thought over, well intended, with a little sprinkle of hope, that whatever the plan might be, it could be achieved with discipline and determination. You might even be excited about sharing your resolutions with those around you, in hopes that you would receive adequate encouragement, and a following that would cheer you onto the finish. It all sounds very exciting and well intended.........so how could resolution be bad?
Well......I'm not implying that resolution itself is a bad thing....because of course it motivates us to move forward....to work harder.....to be more focused on our goals.....etc. And even if most of us wait until the week between christmas and new years to ponder these thoughts.....it's still to be commended. However..........I know....don't you hate it when I finally get around to the "however" comment? However.......what would it feel like if I threw a different word into the new years resolution mix.........like for instance......transformation? After all.....you can think and ponder......reflect the past year....and even come up with some good ideas, but ultimately, you are honestly asking yourself to change.......to go from what "was" in the last year, into what you feel needs to be different for the year to come.
All good stuff again.......but if you grasp the concept of transformation, you do of course realize that some action is going to be needed. You can think, ponder, wonder, wish, even come up with good plans....but unless you actually put those plans to work, you won't accomplish anything by the time 2011 rolls around. Again.......all well intended and exciting to think about any change that might be coming, but you will in fact have to take into consideration that many ingredients are needed in this new mix of resolution/transformation........some you may have stored away......some may be easily implemented.......and some you will have to search for, and could take a while to find.
My suggestion is to sit down quietly and make a list. A list of things about your life and about yourself that you would like to see differently in the year to come. Ask yourself some questions like..........do I like myself? Do I provide a soft place to fall for my family, or do I drain them dry as often as possible? Am I determined to talk instead of listen? Do I do anything that makes my life easier or healthier? Do I constantly judge, criticize and belittle those around me, instead of building them up and encouraging them? Do I stay overly busy because it makes me feel worthy? Do I punish people when I don't get what I want by pouting or avoiding them? Do I know when and how to say no? Do I check my motives when I want or need something from someone? Do I promote peace within my family, or chaos? Do I really know what true humility is? Do I allow friends and family to make their decisions, trusting their judgement instead of imposing mine?
These are all good questions for self-reflection...and I'm sure you could add a few of your own to the list......feel free. Just remember that when you do come up with your list, it will bring a sense of freedom and peace within yourself because you've actually begun to think about how you yourself can not only make plans to be better for the new year, but how you can actually put into action those ideas that will ultimately transform you into a vessel that can actually change the world. A vessel that holds peace, harmony, compassion, a sense of otherness, and a genuine need to express selfless love.
It is possible to navigate this world gently....truly it is.... but it does have to start with you. Your attitude, your behavior, your truth, your humility, your sense of otherness, your willingness to change negative energy into positive. So.......have a life changing new year..........transform yourself into something better.
Happy New Year
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Trying VS. Allowing
According to Webster; Try; to subject to a severe test or strain. Now compare it with allow; to let do, happen; permit; to acknowledge as true or valid. Now I don't know about you, but it seems as if there is much hard work with trying, as opposed to gently going through life allowing. Granted there is nothing wrong with trying to be your best, trying to do the right thing, trying to get it right.......but for me it brings with it a hint of self, ego, or pushing something that shouldn't or can't be pushed. That the actual act of trying goes against those things that come naturally, if allowed. It's as if you are pressing to reach perfection, which I believe happens only through nature, like watching the petals of a rose fold out into the open air. That is true perfection. Or watching a newborn baby grasp your finger without even knowing what they're doing. That is perfection.
When you see those two things happen, there is no trying involved....but only allowing something to reveal itself. Beauty from the rose, and love from the newborn. And of course these are only two examples of perfection on this earth that come from allowing, I'm sure you could add thousands to the list. But my point here is not necessarily about roses and babies, but how hard our life can be when we are focused on trying, instead of allowing. Maybe the trick here, is to be able to discern the difference between the two.
I suppose it might be easier for me, because I can physically tell the difference between the two, most likely due to my physical limitations. When you've been forced to weed out those things in your life that drain or challenge your energy or strength, in order to just stay afloat physically, you become extremely sensitive to internal drives as well as external forces. I can sense in my body the moment something goes from allowing to trying, because the energy is immediately affected. So, it's as if I have an internal alarm that goes off when I move into energy overload. And actually I think we are all equipped with that alarm, it's just that people who are well, will allow themselves to get close to the danger zone because they can physically handle it. I myself easily crash and burn, with days or months ahead of recooping from the stress. And that's not to say it's bad or good.....it just is.
So, I'm sure by now you're asking yourself if you spend your life trying or allowing........and you know how I feel about that........good place to start. Now....after you start to ask yourself which umbrella you fall under, can you get a sense of why you choose to try as opposed to allowing? And can you really see how they both resonate within your gut? I can say to myself that I will try to do something, but when I say that, my face even gets scrunched up, believing that if I push and strain, I will in fact accomplish my goal. If I say that I'm going to allow something in my life, it's a completely different sensation. It's a more gentle and accepting word, that is yielding and forgiving if the goal is not accomplished in the end. That I don't have to expect perfection, or heaven forbid, beat myself up if things don't turn out the way I think they NEED to turn out.
Allowing yourself to work on something implies a recognition that you are not perfect, nor seeking perfection, but only seeing something you want to pursue, and putting your best foot forward "gently". WOW.......that just blew over me like a gentle breeze, with only positive words.......nothing demanding, nor pessimistic, nor judgemental. As if a child asked her mother if she could make the cake herself, and her mother responding in a positive way like....."Absolutely you can make the cake, may I help you?" Which implies even though she realizes this will be the first time for the child, and it may be a little diffcult, but she instills in the child that there's nothing wrong with her wanting to make the cake, and that if she needs any help, her mom is right there to guide her.
What a completely different world we would live in today if everyone had that attitude........and you can see clearly, it makes all the difference in how we look at goals and challenges we face everyday. Now this doesn't mean you have to completely throw out the word try, and replace it with the word allow. Even though there would be nothing wrong with "allowing" yourself to "try" that. But maybe if you knew in your own head from now on, when you use the word try, that your attitude about the word is a bit different. Your brow is not scrunched, you don't feel a sensation of pushing, or demanding that you reach a particular goal, or else.
It actually gives you permission to be kind and gentle towards yourself if you don't reach your goal. As if you've provided a soft place to land if things don't turn out the way you thought they needed to. This seems a much gentler way to navigate through life, for yourself, as well as those around you. For as much as we demand and expect for ourselves to achieve, it's just as easy to demand and expect others to as well......and in this day and age........we all deserve a nice soft place to land.
When you see those two things happen, there is no trying involved....but only allowing something to reveal itself. Beauty from the rose, and love from the newborn. And of course these are only two examples of perfection on this earth that come from allowing, I'm sure you could add thousands to the list. But my point here is not necessarily about roses and babies, but how hard our life can be when we are focused on trying, instead of allowing. Maybe the trick here, is to be able to discern the difference between the two.
I suppose it might be easier for me, because I can physically tell the difference between the two, most likely due to my physical limitations. When you've been forced to weed out those things in your life that drain or challenge your energy or strength, in order to just stay afloat physically, you become extremely sensitive to internal drives as well as external forces. I can sense in my body the moment something goes from allowing to trying, because the energy is immediately affected. So, it's as if I have an internal alarm that goes off when I move into energy overload. And actually I think we are all equipped with that alarm, it's just that people who are well, will allow themselves to get close to the danger zone because they can physically handle it. I myself easily crash and burn, with days or months ahead of recooping from the stress. And that's not to say it's bad or good.....it just is.
So, I'm sure by now you're asking yourself if you spend your life trying or allowing........and you know how I feel about that........good place to start. Now....after you start to ask yourself which umbrella you fall under, can you get a sense of why you choose to try as opposed to allowing? And can you really see how they both resonate within your gut? I can say to myself that I will try to do something, but when I say that, my face even gets scrunched up, believing that if I push and strain, I will in fact accomplish my goal. If I say that I'm going to allow something in my life, it's a completely different sensation. It's a more gentle and accepting word, that is yielding and forgiving if the goal is not accomplished in the end. That I don't have to expect perfection, or heaven forbid, beat myself up if things don't turn out the way I think they NEED to turn out.
Allowing yourself to work on something implies a recognition that you are not perfect, nor seeking perfection, but only seeing something you want to pursue, and putting your best foot forward "gently". WOW.......that just blew over me like a gentle breeze, with only positive words.......nothing demanding, nor pessimistic, nor judgemental. As if a child asked her mother if she could make the cake herself, and her mother responding in a positive way like....."Absolutely you can make the cake, may I help you?" Which implies even though she realizes this will be the first time for the child, and it may be a little diffcult, but she instills in the child that there's nothing wrong with her wanting to make the cake, and that if she needs any help, her mom is right there to guide her.
What a completely different world we would live in today if everyone had that attitude........and you can see clearly, it makes all the difference in how we look at goals and challenges we face everyday. Now this doesn't mean you have to completely throw out the word try, and replace it with the word allow. Even though there would be nothing wrong with "allowing" yourself to "try" that. But maybe if you knew in your own head from now on, when you use the word try, that your attitude about the word is a bit different. Your brow is not scrunched, you don't feel a sensation of pushing, or demanding that you reach a particular goal, or else.
It actually gives you permission to be kind and gentle towards yourself if you don't reach your goal. As if you've provided a soft place to land if things don't turn out the way you thought they needed to. This seems a much gentler way to navigate through life, for yourself, as well as those around you. For as much as we demand and expect for ourselves to achieve, it's just as easy to demand and expect others to as well......and in this day and age........we all deserve a nice soft place to land.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
If Only
It is SO easy to go through life believing that outside forces get in our way of those things we believe we're supposed to have and enjoy while we're on this earth. Even basing our level of peace and happiness on things like money, location, our job, and especially on those around us and their behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
1.if only I had more money
2.if only my spouse would give me what I need
3.if only I had a different job
3.if only I weren't sick
4.if only I were thinner
5.if only I had more discipline in my life
6.if only a loved one had not died
7.if only I had a new car
8.if only I had a child
9.if only I lived on an island
Well.....as you can see I've only mentioned 8, but there is no doubt in my mind that you could add another 20 or so. But no need for fretting, for we all do this to some degree. Of course the important thing is how much we do it, and how long we stay in that mindset. It's important to also realize that when we do focus on "if only's"......it can and will steal our ability to experience true peace and joy in our lives, because we're focus of what we think we want or need, instead of what we presently have in this moment.
Yes....this probably is another lecture on the term "living in the moment". But, I believe we can read it, think it, and even say it outloud, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we truly "get it", so that we can ultimately apply it to our everyday lives. I believe we get stuck when we see our lives as lacking in some way....that there's one magical element that will help us complete the picture to our satisfaction. The perfect mate, the job that makes us feel brilliant and successful with respect and recognition from our peers, the perfect body for others to see and envy, the new fancy car that makes us look like we have an abundance of money and the perfect life.........you want me to go on?
Now, first up.......there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting or having these things, but I think the trick here, is to be satisfied with what you have instead of believing that those things will solve life's struggles or frustrations. We spend time praying, asking, or wishing for a particular thing or person, and most often receive it, but instead of relishing or appreciating the fact that you've received it, you're on to the next thing, never really feeling satisfied or content with what you have in front of you. I'm asking myself at this moment, is that all there is to life.....striving, wishing, expecting the next thing that will hopefully fulfill my life to my satisfaction? If that's our reality, then do we actually reach a point where we have all our baskets full and overflowing, wanting for nothing?
Well, of course that would be the ultimate.....being able to say to yourself, "I'm completely satisfied, and can finally be content with what I have in front of me". But in fact, if you stay in the land of the If Only's.......you will never experience that level of contentment. It's as if you completely forget the days, months, or years before this moment, you were asking, wishing, or praying for this particular thing you felt would bring you happiness, joy, or fulfillment. You received it, but forgot to recognize or express gratefulness that you received it......so you're on to the next thing. I'm sure you've heard the expression, be careful what you ask for, you may surely get it............well, it's true. It reminds you to search for the meaning and truth behind your desires in life. Is it what you truly believe is missing in your life, or something that you see other's experience, and think you need to follow suit?
My point? To pay careful attention to those moments of seeking the next thing, wondering "if only" my life were different, better.....whatever you see that's missing in your life, and begin to notice those things that are right in front of you......the prayers, wishes, desires that you dreamed of having, and have in fact already received. For being in a constant state of appreciating "what is" in your life, will ultimately open the door to what comes next for you, not the "if only's". Wondering, speculating, and expecting because you are unhappy with the present moment, is completely different than wondering, speculating and expecting good things to come just because they're good things...period.
I wonder what would happen if you practiced gratefulness for this very moment, soaking up every inch of already receiving what you asked for, and knowing that it's ok to desire certain things for your future, but not believing that "one" thing is what will make sense of your world and provide the love, happiness, peace and joy you need so badly.
1.if only I had more money
2.if only my spouse would give me what I need
3.if only I had a different job
3.if only I weren't sick
4.if only I were thinner
5.if only I had more discipline in my life
6.if only a loved one had not died
7.if only I had a new car
8.if only I had a child
9.if only I lived on an island
Well.....as you can see I've only mentioned 8, but there is no doubt in my mind that you could add another 20 or so. But no need for fretting, for we all do this to some degree. Of course the important thing is how much we do it, and how long we stay in that mindset. It's important to also realize that when we do focus on "if only's"......it can and will steal our ability to experience true peace and joy in our lives, because we're focus of what we think we want or need, instead of what we presently have in this moment.
Yes....this probably is another lecture on the term "living in the moment". But, I believe we can read it, think it, and even say it outloud, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we truly "get it", so that we can ultimately apply it to our everyday lives. I believe we get stuck when we see our lives as lacking in some way....that there's one magical element that will help us complete the picture to our satisfaction. The perfect mate, the job that makes us feel brilliant and successful with respect and recognition from our peers, the perfect body for others to see and envy, the new fancy car that makes us look like we have an abundance of money and the perfect life.........you want me to go on?
Now, first up.......there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting or having these things, but I think the trick here, is to be satisfied with what you have instead of believing that those things will solve life's struggles or frustrations. We spend time praying, asking, or wishing for a particular thing or person, and most often receive it, but instead of relishing or appreciating the fact that you've received it, you're on to the next thing, never really feeling satisfied or content with what you have in front of you. I'm asking myself at this moment, is that all there is to life.....striving, wishing, expecting the next thing that will hopefully fulfill my life to my satisfaction? If that's our reality, then do we actually reach a point where we have all our baskets full and overflowing, wanting for nothing?
Well, of course that would be the ultimate.....being able to say to yourself, "I'm completely satisfied, and can finally be content with what I have in front of me". But in fact, if you stay in the land of the If Only's.......you will never experience that level of contentment. It's as if you completely forget the days, months, or years before this moment, you were asking, wishing, or praying for this particular thing you felt would bring you happiness, joy, or fulfillment. You received it, but forgot to recognize or express gratefulness that you received it......so you're on to the next thing. I'm sure you've heard the expression, be careful what you ask for, you may surely get it............well, it's true. It reminds you to search for the meaning and truth behind your desires in life. Is it what you truly believe is missing in your life, or something that you see other's experience, and think you need to follow suit?
My point? To pay careful attention to those moments of seeking the next thing, wondering "if only" my life were different, better.....whatever you see that's missing in your life, and begin to notice those things that are right in front of you......the prayers, wishes, desires that you dreamed of having, and have in fact already received. For being in a constant state of appreciating "what is" in your life, will ultimately open the door to what comes next for you, not the "if only's". Wondering, speculating, and expecting because you are unhappy with the present moment, is completely different than wondering, speculating and expecting good things to come just because they're good things...period.
I wonder what would happen if you practiced gratefulness for this very moment, soaking up every inch of already receiving what you asked for, and knowing that it's ok to desire certain things for your future, but not believing that "one" thing is what will make sense of your world and provide the love, happiness, peace and joy you need so badly.
Monday, February 2, 2009
What Is It?
Is there something bugging you lately? Something you wish you could stand on a podium in the middle of main street somewhere and shout it out, whatever it is? Did you wake up this morning wondering, what in the heck am I doing? Is this my life, or did I just get caught up in something that seemed right, and decided to settle? Did I venture down a road because of loneliness, impatience, confusion...etc? Did I say yes to something for the wrong reasons? Do I continue to say yes because all hell would break loose if I stood up and said what I really feel? Or because I would be left lone, naked and vulnerable, if I really spoke the truth?
Yikes......heavy stuff for a Monday morning, but I think we all at some point have this very conversation in our heads. I think this, if anything, falls under the umbrella of normalcy. We backtrack wondering if the right decision was made, or if we're wasting our time, or our lives, with doing something we really don't want to do. We start wondering if our motives or intentions were in line, whether we were living in truth, instead of giving in to something or someone. We wondered at the time if we were up to the challenge, whatever it was, but instead of waiting, learning patience, or getting more information, we decided to take a nose-dive, hoping and praying we would be ok.
So.....we went down a road......even though there were no clear signs to guide us, usually because there wasn't anything else better that came along, so we settled. We felt lost, confused, with no focus or purpose.....looking and searching for that situation that would make us "feel" right, good, or complete. If there were any red flags that flew up, we ignored them completely. Didn't matter what they were, how they made us feel, what they involved......we decided to continue. We didn't take into consideration where the road might lead, what we might have to face, or if maybe we should re-think the whole situation........still made the choice to move ahead no matter what.
Just in case you're wondering, this IS in fact the most appropriate time to ask yourself, what is it? What is it that I jumped into without thinking? What was it I said yes to, when I knew in my gut I was saying it for the wrong reasons? What do I expect to happen if I continue down this road without really looking at my true and real reasons for being here? How does my uncertainty about my decision actually affect those around me?
Now you may not have clarity right now about what it is that's gnawing at your gut, or maybe you're one of the lucky or more fortunate people who have a gut that is in fact at peace, with no regret, no fear, no worry, not wondering if you are in fact going down the right path. That's very admirable, but I still believe if you are human, you're going to be at some time in your life, faced with the fact that you made an unwise decision. You know what.....it's ok....it really is. It's even ok if you've made more than one, if not many. That, in fact, is part of the human condition.........just part of life. It's not my place, or anyone elses to place judgement on those decisions, I'll leave that up to God. I've made enough of my own to keep me from pointing the finger outward.
My point here is not to make you feel bad, or to encourage you to spend the day searching for something to question yourself about, or to beat yourself up for maybe jumping into something you weren't quite ready for, or for settling for something instead of waiting. There is really no way to completely safeguard yourself from making mistakes, so you might as well embrace the ones you made, no matter how serious they were, because it's done and over with. Trust me, if there were a way in which to go back and repair some of the damage I've done over the past several years, I would at least try, but since that's not possible, I'll move ahead with at least making an attempt to see clearly, my motives and intentions in making my future decisions. I will make it a point to watch and beware of red flags that speak of warning up ahead, take the time to see what I'm trying to satisfy in making a particular decision, or ultimately, how my decision will not only affect my life, but those around me that I love the most.
So if you're brave enough to ask yourself this morning.....what is it? Then you've been able to do something that a lot of people will never do or want to do.....stop in the middle of the road, take a deep breathe, and just simply ask yourself, am I sure this is the direction I want to go? Does this road speak the truth about who I really am, my desires, my goals, my beliefs, my faith in God? Or does it simply say I'll choose this road because it seems right, it's got some good perks, or it will make people think I know what I'm doing?
I'll leave these questions for you to ponder, even on a Monday morning.
Yikes......heavy stuff for a Monday morning, but I think we all at some point have this very conversation in our heads. I think this, if anything, falls under the umbrella of normalcy. We backtrack wondering if the right decision was made, or if we're wasting our time, or our lives, with doing something we really don't want to do. We start wondering if our motives or intentions were in line, whether we were living in truth, instead of giving in to something or someone. We wondered at the time if we were up to the challenge, whatever it was, but instead of waiting, learning patience, or getting more information, we decided to take a nose-dive, hoping and praying we would be ok.
So.....we went down a road......even though there were no clear signs to guide us, usually because there wasn't anything else better that came along, so we settled. We felt lost, confused, with no focus or purpose.....looking and searching for that situation that would make us "feel" right, good, or complete. If there were any red flags that flew up, we ignored them completely. Didn't matter what they were, how they made us feel, what they involved......we decided to continue. We didn't take into consideration where the road might lead, what we might have to face, or if maybe we should re-think the whole situation........still made the choice to move ahead no matter what.
Just in case you're wondering, this IS in fact the most appropriate time to ask yourself, what is it? What is it that I jumped into without thinking? What was it I said yes to, when I knew in my gut I was saying it for the wrong reasons? What do I expect to happen if I continue down this road without really looking at my true and real reasons for being here? How does my uncertainty about my decision actually affect those around me?
Now you may not have clarity right now about what it is that's gnawing at your gut, or maybe you're one of the lucky or more fortunate people who have a gut that is in fact at peace, with no regret, no fear, no worry, not wondering if you are in fact going down the right path. That's very admirable, but I still believe if you are human, you're going to be at some time in your life, faced with the fact that you made an unwise decision. You know what.....it's ok....it really is. It's even ok if you've made more than one, if not many. That, in fact, is part of the human condition.........just part of life. It's not my place, or anyone elses to place judgement on those decisions, I'll leave that up to God. I've made enough of my own to keep me from pointing the finger outward.
My point here is not to make you feel bad, or to encourage you to spend the day searching for something to question yourself about, or to beat yourself up for maybe jumping into something you weren't quite ready for, or for settling for something instead of waiting. There is really no way to completely safeguard yourself from making mistakes, so you might as well embrace the ones you made, no matter how serious they were, because it's done and over with. Trust me, if there were a way in which to go back and repair some of the damage I've done over the past several years, I would at least try, but since that's not possible, I'll move ahead with at least making an attempt to see clearly, my motives and intentions in making my future decisions. I will make it a point to watch and beware of red flags that speak of warning up ahead, take the time to see what I'm trying to satisfy in making a particular decision, or ultimately, how my decision will not only affect my life, but those around me that I love the most.
So if you're brave enough to ask yourself this morning.....what is it? Then you've been able to do something that a lot of people will never do or want to do.....stop in the middle of the road, take a deep breathe, and just simply ask yourself, am I sure this is the direction I want to go? Does this road speak the truth about who I really am, my desires, my goals, my beliefs, my faith in God? Or does it simply say I'll choose this road because it seems right, it's got some good perks, or it will make people think I know what I'm doing?
I'll leave these questions for you to ponder, even on a Monday morning.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
What Do You Want?
Wow.....what a question huh? I bet when you read those words, you are so surprised that someone even asked you, you're not quite sure what to think, or how to respond, right? I'm sure many things come to mind like, more money, a new job, a soulmate, a house, a new car, to lose weight......and the list goes on. It's interesting that most of these things fall under the "stuff" category, as opposed to some non-tangible item, like peace, joy, contentment, better attitude, more patience, more understanding, and a spirit of forgiveness or giving to others. In a world that tries to make you feel like you need to want or buy the next thing in order to be happy and fulfilled, it's hard to think about those non-tangibles. We live in a society where stuff means you're successful, stuff means you're cool to those around you, stuff means you're safe from anything bad happening to you. Well...I hate to tell you this, but according to my friend Webster, he believes the word stuff to mean; worthless objects; refuse; junk. If you don't believe me....look for yourself.
Now you can see why he is my most trusted associate, because if there's any question in my mind about the true meaning behind a word, I know he is the one to ask. There is usually no beating around the bush, no speculating on my part, or twisting it to fit the occasion.......he gets right to the point. So.....without further ado......I'll get right to the point about stuff. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting certain things while you're here......especially a nice home, a nice car, a good and faithful spouse, children to raise and enjoy, so I'm not determined to rain on your parade here, but only to help you stop and think about those things that are most important to you while you're here on this earth. After all, I do believe that God has wonderful things for us all to experience while we're here, but he also wants to make sure we focus our attention and desires on those things that are the most meaningful.....those things that last, and those things that bring us the most contentment and joy.
Seems like this would be a very easy thing to do during this time of recession, and honestly I have seen some areas where people have made some changes. And you can tell from all the reports on our economy, that people are starting to re-think what they want, and what they buy. Of course it would be nice for people to assess their real true needs without being forced to because of a recession, but that's another subject we'll save for later. So whether you feel forced to see things differently, or want to because you yourself have caught a glimpse of desiring too much stuff, it doesn't really matter. What really matters at this moment is for you to just sit with the question.......what do you want, and see what comes up for you.
I believe that we allow society to dictate what we should want and have.....all you have to do is turn on the television and see that. And it's very easy to get caught up in what people around you are doing, buying, experiencing.....etc.....believing that you are supposed to follow suit, whether you have the money or not. If you don't have the money in front of you, then get a credit card.....free money when you want it right? Well....we both know the real answer to that one. All the "stuff" looks really good, and you feel you work hard, and deserve whatever it is that suits your fancy. A bigger television, a nicer car, a bigger house, fancy clothes, dining out whenever you want to.......the list goes on and on. So in fact your life becomes more about what you can accumulate, than being satisfied with what you already have. You've been tricked into thinking, more is more......so you seek more stuff. All in the hopes of "fitting in", and looking successful to those around you. It becomes all about how you "appear" to the outside world, not about who you really are. The stuff that you accumulate does not and never will equal who you are as a person.
I know.....another "ouch" subject. And the only reason why I can write this at all, is because I am quite often privy to so many people that are so wrapped up in their stuff, or accumulating more stuff, and what it takes for them to have it, and are completely stressed out because of what it takes in order for them to keep up with it all. I'm sorry but that makes absolutely no sense to me at all. If you have to completely wear yourself out in order to have the money to have or to keep your stuff, when or how are you able to enjoy anything at all?
So ask yourself some questions here. What difference would it make if I decided to let something go that is not really a neccessity? What would happen to my stress level if I just stopped spending money on those things that are not really needed in order for me to get through this next week, month, or year?What would happen to my level of peace and joy if I let go of trying to keep up with my friends or peers and just said no? Wonder what it would be like to wake up and not be worried about what I want and can't have, and thought about what I do have and experienced a comfortable state of mind?
I can tell you one thing that would happen, that you probably have not considered. You making conscious decisions to look at your life differently, so that you're not constantly worried and stressed out, will make a huge statement to those around you....... because whether you believe this or not, most of your friends and peers are going through the same exact thing, and don't have the courage to say......no more.
So, I will ask you again........What Do You Want?
Now you can see why he is my most trusted associate, because if there's any question in my mind about the true meaning behind a word, I know he is the one to ask. There is usually no beating around the bush, no speculating on my part, or twisting it to fit the occasion.......he gets right to the point. So.....without further ado......I'll get right to the point about stuff. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting certain things while you're here......especially a nice home, a nice car, a good and faithful spouse, children to raise and enjoy, so I'm not determined to rain on your parade here, but only to help you stop and think about those things that are most important to you while you're here on this earth. After all, I do believe that God has wonderful things for us all to experience while we're here, but he also wants to make sure we focus our attention and desires on those things that are the most meaningful.....those things that last, and those things that bring us the most contentment and joy.
Seems like this would be a very easy thing to do during this time of recession, and honestly I have seen some areas where people have made some changes. And you can tell from all the reports on our economy, that people are starting to re-think what they want, and what they buy. Of course it would be nice for people to assess their real true needs without being forced to because of a recession, but that's another subject we'll save for later. So whether you feel forced to see things differently, or want to because you yourself have caught a glimpse of desiring too much stuff, it doesn't really matter. What really matters at this moment is for you to just sit with the question.......what do you want, and see what comes up for you.
I believe that we allow society to dictate what we should want and have.....all you have to do is turn on the television and see that. And it's very easy to get caught up in what people around you are doing, buying, experiencing.....etc.....believing that you are supposed to follow suit, whether you have the money or not. If you don't have the money in front of you, then get a credit card.....free money when you want it right? Well....we both know the real answer to that one. All the "stuff" looks really good, and you feel you work hard, and deserve whatever it is that suits your fancy. A bigger television, a nicer car, a bigger house, fancy clothes, dining out whenever you want to.......the list goes on and on. So in fact your life becomes more about what you can accumulate, than being satisfied with what you already have. You've been tricked into thinking, more is more......so you seek more stuff. All in the hopes of "fitting in", and looking successful to those around you. It becomes all about how you "appear" to the outside world, not about who you really are. The stuff that you accumulate does not and never will equal who you are as a person.
I know.....another "ouch" subject. And the only reason why I can write this at all, is because I am quite often privy to so many people that are so wrapped up in their stuff, or accumulating more stuff, and what it takes for them to have it, and are completely stressed out because of what it takes in order for them to keep up with it all. I'm sorry but that makes absolutely no sense to me at all. If you have to completely wear yourself out in order to have the money to have or to keep your stuff, when or how are you able to enjoy anything at all?
So ask yourself some questions here. What difference would it make if I decided to let something go that is not really a neccessity? What would happen to my stress level if I just stopped spending money on those things that are not really needed in order for me to get through this next week, month, or year?What would happen to my level of peace and joy if I let go of trying to keep up with my friends or peers and just said no? Wonder what it would be like to wake up and not be worried about what I want and can't have, and thought about what I do have and experienced a comfortable state of mind?
I can tell you one thing that would happen, that you probably have not considered. You making conscious decisions to look at your life differently, so that you're not constantly worried and stressed out, will make a huge statement to those around you....... because whether you believe this or not, most of your friends and peers are going through the same exact thing, and don't have the courage to say......no more.
So, I will ask you again........What Do You Want?
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