The Rhythm of Life

I suppose I could have titled this BUSY......but I've become very sensitive to that word because it's all I ever hear. No matter the time, day, or who I'm speaking with, it's always a part of the conversation. Maybe the world I live in is so far at the end of the spectrum, that I can't appreciate the other end? Well maybe. But I don't think so. Maybe if another word could be used to express how one spends their time, I could tolerate it a little better, but I don't think so.

Maybe if I heard words like quiet, peace or simplicity just once in a while, the word busy wouldn't bother me so much. But the fact is, I don't hear them at all.....ever. Now I realize that growing up in the 60's, it was much easier to express those words, and where I'm from the city made a point to incorporate them into the lifestyle at that time. Each Wednesday at noon, all the stores closed, and people went home to relax, go fishing, or just sat out on their front porch and drank iced tea. On sundays the stores were closed and you did no work at home. And as well, there weren't so many ways to entertain or distract back then, that there was plenty of time to just sit back and watch the cars go by, or take a nap in the backyard on the weekends. But is there any reason why we can't do that now?

I suppose one reason is because there is, in every era, a rhythm that everyone keeps up with, feeling as if they didn't, they would somehow miss a beat. That whatever the neighbors are doing, next door or down the street, we are supposed to keep up with them or they might talk about us in a not so pleasant way. But no matter the reason, I'm wondering how or why we can't slow down the rhythm a bit, because honestly I believe that if we truly wanted to, we could in fact find time to be quiet, as well as experience more peace and simplicity. It's a choice...period.

If you wanted to, you could in fact decide right this moment, that you are going to spend the whole weekend at home, in your pajamas. Tell your friends and family you're going to make it a priority to spend more down time, whether that means alone, or with your family. You've stocked the frig, marked the calendar, and are in search of quiet, peace and simplicity. If you're single, married....no matter, the plans are made and you're sticking to them. Now to me, this is no different than marking the calendar for a weekend trip away. You're just choosing not to be in the car, on the road, at movie or restaurant, and will not be answering the phone either.

Wow.....what an amazing thing to do for your children, to show them how important it is to just stop and slow down. To be able to say no to the busyness of life, without the burden of expectations from others or from yourself. Taking the time to do this will not cause you to lose your job, your friends, family or make you seem off balance. If anything, it will make a statement that we all have the choice to slow down if we want to, and invest all that busy time everyone seems to be burdened with on ourselves and those around us that mean the most. If you don't share the ability to do this with your children, then they will assume that busyness is the only choice there is in life. They won't know the meaning of simplicity or peace at all or how to find it for themselves when they are overwhelmed with life and it's demands.

What a wonderful thing to do for yourself.....and a powerful message for those around you. So go and pick out your weekend pajamas, books to read, movies to watch, favorite foods, and a heads up for those around you that you are not going to answer the phone or text. Try it just for grins.......and start setting your own rhythm in life!

The Power of :Laughter

OK.....so let's talk about laughter today......for I truly believe that if any doctor's appointments were met over the last month, there was no mention of how powerful and healing a tool laughter can be. Now I've known this for a very long time, in dealing with my own health issues, and always being sure that I have ways to release the physical pain that I have a tendency to carry with me each day, but since I'm human, and getting older, I will plead ignorance for now, and promise that I will never set this extremely helpful tool aside ever again.

Now I don't want the focus here to be totally about pain, and how terrible pain is, and how we must get rid of the pain....and honestly this can be physical or emotional here. We can all wear our big girl/boy panties and profess that none of us have any emotional issues, but I'm here to tell you, if you are in fact human, then you've had something at some point happen to you that you carry with you most of your life. However...........I will focus on how to lessen or redirect the pain so that we're not all lying in a ditch on a deserted dirt road waiting for someone to drive by and pull us out. Now I'm sorry, but for me....it's the most accurate way to describe how I feel some days physically.

Now, back to the doctors office. I am weary of watching most of them try to pull a rabbit out of their hat, and instead offer ways of finding a healthy level of acceptance of the situation by using some valuable tools such as laughter. Mine used to be crying. Yes.....and it's not a pitiful crying......its a wailing actually that would have to happen in order to release the pain in my body. Some days I have to put a sad movie in the player just to give me a prompt, which may sound insane, but it works really well. However.....after talking to a dear friend on the phone last night, and having moments of uncontrollable gut level laughter, and how good it felt, I decided I would get out the Seinfield DVD's today and let her rip.

So now......if I can recognize how helpful this is....why wouldn't a doctor know? I realize they have to be objective, and of course offer the newest medication that is on the market to make money for all those involved, but when does it become more about healthy changes that are just plain and simple and honestly help the most? And I'm not getting into a doctor bashing here....but after a while, I think we just have to get back to the nuts and bolts of what is available and FREE as far as healing our bodies. I believe God gave us those tools, but on the whole, it's not really encouraged, at least not in my neck of the woods. Which again is no excuse, I can search and find whatever works for me, but for today, I'm going to be grateful that I remembered that laughter is like a healing balm for the soul, mind and body, and it will be part of my daily routine from now on. We all have access to the internet and can watch whatever we find funny at any given time. So I encourage you to do the same. 

So for today, have a laugh, and see if it makes a difference in how you feel. Will it makes all your health issues go away....probably not, but it changes something even more important than that. It changes how you SEE your pain and suffering, and how you can lessen the severity. I promise at the least it will bring a smile, and for heavens sake will keep you out of the ditch!

The World at 4am

So why would any normal person get up at 4 in the morning? I don't ask myself that question too much anymore, probably because what I find when I do get up is the quiet I so desperately crave. Course I have always been an early riser for some reason, even as a child. And again, I can say at that particular time of life, I was craving peace and quiet, and this was in a very small town in south carolina, for sure off the beaten path.

So what' so important about peace and quiet? Well for me, it's the only time I can hear the crickets, a long lost friend of mine, that was used at the end of a cane fishing pole. Good bait for sure, but for now, it's just that lovely sound they make very early in the morning. I hear no traffic, no slamming doors, no leaf blowers, mowers or garbage trucks. It amazes me at how engines and electrical gadgets, supposedly that get the job done quicker, can completely steal the sounds of nature. So disruptive. But this is the world now, and for several reasons, I am not able to find a quiet and peaceful place in which to live. I make do with what I have before me, and remind myself the reasons are valid and good.

But for the meantime, my crickets will do, and I am grateful to have my noisy desktop computer that goes clickety clack under my fingers. However do wonder why people are so anxious to fill up the quiet. That quiet that soothes the soul and refreshes the mind. Like an etch a sketch board, where you can draw and write, and when you're done, turn it upside down, give it a shake, and it's all erased. We have the gift of a clean slate in which to fill for the day.

Course the sad part is not realizing that we can fill it with whatever we choose. We make choices every single day with how we wish to do that, but sadly, I think too many people are so haunted by their choices, priorities and direction, that they feel it necessary to each day find some other way to fill up the hours with some activity that' not absolutely necessary, but seems like the right thing to do at the time.

So while that goes on each day, you find less and less time to stop and appreciate or make future plans of slowing down, checking things off your busy list to appreciate the quiet. And just because you now think that it's ok to slow down a bit, does not mean you have become a slug, or lacking in productivity.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm shooting for here, for I was just trying to convey my feelings and reactions to a day that starts at 4am. I myself love it, will continue to do it, though it can vary between 4 and 5.....and listen for those heavenly creatures that can only be heard while the rest of the world sleeps. My own little quiet haven in which to draw strength, courage and hope.

For me....I would rather go to bed at 9 and get up at 4 or 5, than to go to bed at 10 or so and sleep till 9. If you have never tried this, I think it might be time. Maybe you've never even heard a cricket before, or heard them in a very long time.....so enjoy.

What are you a slave to?

A most ominous subject I should think, but of course from my side, one that's worthy of digging a little deeper for meaning.  The first thing that comes to mind when I hear that word, having been born and raised in the south, is a person who is the legal property of another, and forced to obey them. But there is another way of looking at this word, and that is a person who is dependent....excessively dependent.....upon or controlled by something. Of course you see the difference here, where you can be controlled by someone or something, and honestly sometimes I don't know which is worse. You would think that being controlled by a person would be far more oppressive than a thing, but I suppose it would depend on the thing.

Someone can say or do something to make you feel bad about yourself, just by what they say and how they say it, but how does some "thing" make you feel bad about yourself? I guess it depends on how overpowering the thing is. It could be as simple as food, work, perfectionism about ones self, money, sex.....the list goes on. All those little pesky things that get in the way of peace and contentment, that can so easily slip into the unhealthy bracket, that if we found a healthy perspective could in fact allow us to awake each day looking forward to what lies ahead instead of dread.

So how do we get a healthy perspective? Well, it definitely takes some time in recognizing exactly what trips you up each day. And I think we all know on some level what those things are, but have just managed to keep it under the radar so we don't have to own up to it. Hey, been there done that. It's so easy to get busy with life and our own particular challenges each day, that we just hope it goes away on it's own, or at least ease up on the intensity.

Here is my latest, and its not a major issue, but it's one that sort of nags at me each day. I've been down this road before, knowing that tea is probably a better option for me heath wise, but so easily getting sucked into the coffee madness that goes on each day. Of course I love coffee, but love tea as well, and I guess I could reach a healthy balance of one of each per day, or of course my preference would be to nix the coffee completely, and get back to just tea. So today I decided to tackle it head on, and found that if I make a ritual out of my morning and afternoon drink, meaning getting out my really nice tea service, then it turns into something very special.

I truly believe you can do this with anything, but the most important part of this, is actually recognizing that you are in fact a slave to something, and it's not going to change until YOU make some sort of movement in a different direction. I suppose it would make it easier if you have something that will replace the thing you're trying to get rid of. Sort of like buying some yummy yogurt instead of reaching for the cookies and ice cream.

So for me.....switching things up today freed me up, and it's a good feeling. Now will I cave and head for the Starbucks while I'm out? Well, maybe....but maybe not. And I'm actually looking forward to having some really good tea in the morning with my china, Earl Grey, and low fat milk instead of sweetener, which has been SO easy to get hooked on...........or a slave to! Think about it......see what comes to mind that would be fun to change up.

"Just For Today"


In case anyone is interested, I thought you might like to know how I decide what I'm going to write at any given moment. Contrary to what you may have thought, whether you're reading this as a blog or an article, I do not sit and ponder for days before I put fingers to keys........not even hours before, but rather open myself up to whatever I feel is resonating inside of me. I don't take it lightly, and always make sure that it's not about me, but how I can be used by God in whatever way he sees fit. When I come from that stance, it flows effortlessly across the screen, with no struggle, no searching for words, no trying to paint it a pretty color so someone will like it........it just reveals itself and I go with it, whatever the topic might be.

This morning......quite early one at that, I felt led to talk about what comes out of our mouths at any given moment. Now we are fortunate enough, and of course free enough in this day and time, to say whatever we have a mind to say, to anyone, about anything. And I truly believe that we all have good intentions, meaning we all want to be of good use while we're here, practicing things like love, forgiveness, grace, compassion, truth, etc. However, with that being said, we also have the freedom to think or say things that are not so nice, especially about other people, whether it's true or not.

Now we can absolutely say there are plenty of mean spirited people in the world, who have one goal in life, and that is to hurt someone else, whether physically or emotionally, with no good intent at all.....but I'm going to set those aside in this particular situation and allow God to deal with them. So......what's left over are simple everyday people who get up in the morning and go about their day doing whatever it is they do, but have one little thing about them that most of us think is just normal everyday chit chat that happens in our homes, workplaces, on the street, or having lunch. And I'm hoping by the time you reach the end of this, you'll discover something interesting about yourself, that if you changed, it would make a huge impact on not only yourself, but more importantly those around you.

Now keep in mind, we all do this to a degree......it's very common and most of us pay no attention to how it makes us look to the outside world. As I said....just harmless and pointless banter.  But, when does it become more than that, and what does it say about your character even more so than the person you've chosen to chit chat about? Yes....I could call is gossip, or people bashing, or the scoop about someone, but for now, I'll let you try and figure out what you call it. Believe me, when asking any one person what they call it, they can come up with something they deem perfectly harmless, and wonder why I even ask. And yes. of course I am guilty as the next person, but once I started to really pay attention to what was coming out of my mouth, not realizing what I was doing, it became clear to me that changes needed to be made.

Are there varying degrees of this harmless banter? Yes, of course......but bottom line, if the person you were talking about were standing behind you in the midst of your seemingly harmless banter, I would venture to say you'd be mortified. And I'm talking anything from someone's new hairdo, to the clothes they wear, to their personal life....you name it.....whatever you have no business in talking about. I guess you have to stop for a moment and see what it would feel like to have someone talk about you or your personal life or character in a not so flattering way. To actually bear witness to a table of people you thought were your friends toss you around like a ball of yarn that which each toss becomes unraveled and frayed.

But of course before you undergo that exercise, you have to stop for a second and go look in the mirror. Ah yes....there it is. If you're wondering about the phrase, "don't even think about plucking the splinter out of someone elses eye until you've tackled your own"...........the mirror will get the job done real quick. Isn't it interesting how we spend so much time making sure how good we look in the mirror each day, but never stop long enough to really SEE who we are, or how we put ourselves out there in the world.

So.......hence my title.....Just For Today...........I would like to challenge you just for today, while having your morning break, see if you can go through the day without speaking about someone you know, or even someone you don't know, in an unkind, judgemental, or unforgiving way. And to think about what it would feel like if you were the topic of someone else's banter. And we can just call it what it is ok.......bashing, tearing down, redicule, or flat out gossip.

Does this mean we are bad people, or that we must seek perfection? Well no...not exactly......but I think  if we all stop for a moment, we all know what is right and what is wrong.......and there is nothing right about talking about someone in an unkind way, especially if it's a friend or family member. We are all coming from a different place in life, with different upbringing, families, friends, environment....whatever the case may be, but as well....we are all just people trying to survive in the world, to find peace and happiness in a very hard place to live these days. Wouldn't it be nice if we all just tried to make it easier on each other with thoughts and words that build up, instead of tear down......even if Just For Today?

"Timing"

There is, I believe, a clock that not only keeps the time of day, but one that creates a source of synchronicity in our lives, which if you truly tap into, can and will make all the difference in the level of peace you experience in the midst of navigating this world. So let's see what webster has to say about not just timing.....but synchronicity as well. Timing: the regulation of the speed of something so as to produce the most effective results. Synchronicity: happening at the same time...occurring together...simultaneous.

This could be the makings of an intricate puzzle, and as well, asking yourself where this is going, but if you stick with me, it may be something that could change your whole way of thinking about yourself, as well as those around you, and how we all "fit" you might say, in this crazy world we live in.

First of all, at least for me, you have to have a specific desire, need, or goal in life before you will begin to see how either of these words actually work. If you aren't at least somewhat clear, then I think it's almost impossible to even be aware that they exist........and just to clarify....they can be available for any of us, but it does take thinking out of the box, or maybe a better term, changing your direction in life just a degree or two.

Now time is something that just is.....meaning it gets us from one moment to the next each day, but when you label any particular moment, whether it's a task, motion, thought, directions, activity....whatever it might be, it becomes a definable way in which to see how it relates to time. Ok....if I just lost you there, try this. I am sitting at my computer typing away, and I may know what time it is, but it really doesn't have anything to do with the timing of this particular piece of writing... meaning what I want to say, who I want to reach, when a particular person decides to read it and if it actually provokes them in any way. They could have an ah-hah moment, or it might trigger a memory, or they can even be surprised that it was something they had actually felt or experienced or had been pondering days before they read it.

So you can see how this already moves into the area of synchronicity. If you were thinking about this subject matter the day before, then two things have coincided...i.e. when you decided to read this article and your thoughts about it came together at the same time.

Now you can see how it's not time specifically I'm talking about.....but things coming together in life that just seem to click, fit, or connect in a way that sometimes can be very surprising. I'm sure you've put a puzzle together at some point, and would be in search for one particular piece to the puzzle, and once you found it, it gave you a great sense of satisfaction.........even just a little puzzle piece....what a simple thing. So I'm sure you can imagine, and most likely have already experienced these moments, to realize how very cool it is when you think something like that gets your attention. Sort of an out of body experience that you carry with you for the day, and you're not quite sure how it happened, but you would like to see it happen again. Maybe similar to dejavu?  Maybe not exactly. Dejavu is feeling or experiencing something that you think you've felt before...whereas timing and synchronicity are two things coming together that you didn't expect to happen.

So now that we are clear about what timing is, the trick here is, how do we experience those moments more often, or even for the first time if we've never felt it before. Well....hopefully by me writing this, it will encourage you to be more aware of "those times" either that have already happened, or those that are likely to or could happen if you opened yourself up to seeing them. Why is this even necessary? Because it's a way of seeing how magical the world can be and how if you pay close attention....those dreams, desires, prayers...etc, that we all think about each day, can and do sometimes fall in our laps at the most interesting moments. And of course the most important part of this, is finding the real meaning behind these moments. For me.....I can take one and find ten different ways to think about it, and usually settle in a place of gratefulness, which is such a wonderful feeling this day and time.

I call it a "God" moment. I can label it "Timing", magical moments, synchronicity....whatever strikes my fancy....but in the end, I know in my heart what it is.....and therefore, in search of them every single day. Our days on this earth can be very hard sometimes, and we are in bad need of more hope, love, and understanding of one another. So if you open yourself up a little, adopt a bit more awareness, I promise timing will become a most delightful thing that will bring more meaning to your life and the lives of those around you. Watch in amazement how two things can come together and bring with it a powerhouse of God and his workings.

Happy Easter to you all.

"Patience"

Seemingly nice word, but one that we all have trouble with, at least I do, and always have since I was a child. I truly believe if you didn’t witness patience as a child, it’s not likely it will be a part of your adult life, but something you will have to realize you are lacking, and begin to incorporate it into your daily life in some way. Unfortunately patience can’t  be bought at the corner store, or caught like the common cold…..or accidentally rubbed up against, but has to be decidedly learned. I know…..do I ever run out of things to add to your arsenal of life skills? Well, I haven’t run out of them for myself, so it’s not looking good so far. It would be nice if when we were born, we were, while given our first bath, implanted with a chip that had all the important things we would need throughout our lifetime, like patience, compassion, understanding……all those things that again are not automatic, but learned as we navigate the world.

Now granted I do believe in inherited behaviors, so if your mother, father, grandparents or uncle Fred that died 50 years ago, had a knack for patience and understanding, it could be passed onto baby Sue in 2012. And of course if he had been a gruff, rude, and impatient man, then Sue might not be so lucky. She may have to work extra hard at developing those behaviors or traits. So, for now, let’s focus on patience, and whether we believe it’s inherited or learned, the fact remains, there are an overabundance of people walking around these days who have no idea of what that word means. And honestly, even if someone does understand the true meaning of patience, they are hell bent on not practicing it at any time or any place, with anyone. If anything there is a blatant disregard for the word or anything close to it.

My theory? As I’ve expressed before, I believe that most of us really try to do the right thing….really try to be kind, loving, understanding and yes, patient. But the world is so caught up in this incredible pace, it makes it almost impossible to practice or even feel patience. I guess the thought would be, I have no time to be patient…..everything has to be right now…..no waiting….no delayed gratification…..right now. Now just reading that makes me exhausted, and wondering how the world would or could change so drastically if we all learned to practice a bit more patience. Maybe I am getting too old to understand the reality of life, it’s demands, expectations and driven-ness to keep up with everyone else, even if you have no idea who “they” are.

We have become accustomed to drive-thru everything….not just food nowadays. And granted it would be nice to have a drive-thru patience booth, like the old photo hut where you could drop off your film to get developed. But I guess unless I open one that serves coffee and a donut, I probably won’t have much luck getting anyone interested in taking the time to frequent it to see what patience might look like, or how much it cost. And of course anyone can go to their favorite bookstore and most likely find 50 books or more on the subject of patience, there is still no guarantee that it will really be embraced on a level that can actually make a difference in not only your life…but in those around you.

Ah…..there it is. There is the key to patience.  It has to do with “those around you.” For me that is the key to so many things that are not right with the world, because we are too busy to realize that our lack of patience, understanding, compassion, whatever it may be, has to do with not only ourselves, but with those around us. That is the importance of learning patience. Because the lack of patience not only steals our peace, joy and contentment in life, but invariably, it will steal it from those people we come into contact with each day. Now of course it’s easy to point the finger outward, and blame any situation on the fact that he or she has no patience. We can do that with any behavior that is lacking in some way. But that’s the easy way out, and honestly does nothing to help others learn patience. We have to make a decision that we are going to be the one to not only learn it, but to incorporate it into our daily lives, so others can witness it and want it for themselves.

I know…..it’s not easy. I have to pray for patience each day, and actually breath it in like I’m being deprived of oxygen, and I must have it in order to survive. Now will you live without patience? Of course….you don’t have to have it to survive, but the point here is, if you realize that practicing patience can not only change your life,  but it will change the lives of so many that you come into contact with. When I think that there is one little thing that I could do to make someone else’s life easier or more pleasant, or meaningful, I get this wave of joy because it didn’t cost me anything, except opening my eyes and becoming more aware of what patience really is, and how healing it is in so many ways.

So, if you need a wave of joy and peace to flow through you today…..yes…I mean you. Then see the word patience in your mind, and decide that you are going to be a blessing in someone else’s life today by practicing it in a big way, or just a simple way. I guarantee you’ll walk away with a smile on your face, and more importantly you will know that what you did just changed the world.