"Just For Today"


In case anyone is interested, I thought you might like to know how I decide what I'm going to write at any given moment. Contrary to what you may have thought, whether you're reading this as a blog or an article, I do not sit and ponder for days before I put fingers to keys........not even hours before, but rather open myself up to whatever I feel is resonating inside of me. I don't take it lightly, and always make sure that it's not about me, but how I can be used by God in whatever way he sees fit. When I come from that stance, it flows effortlessly across the screen, with no struggle, no searching for words, no trying to paint it a pretty color so someone will like it........it just reveals itself and I go with it, whatever the topic might be.

This morning......quite early one at that, I felt led to talk about what comes out of our mouths at any given moment. Now we are fortunate enough, and of course free enough in this day and time, to say whatever we have a mind to say, to anyone, about anything. And I truly believe that we all have good intentions, meaning we all want to be of good use while we're here, practicing things like love, forgiveness, grace, compassion, truth, etc. However, with that being said, we also have the freedom to think or say things that are not so nice, especially about other people, whether it's true or not.

Now we can absolutely say there are plenty of mean spirited people in the world, who have one goal in life, and that is to hurt someone else, whether physically or emotionally, with no good intent at all.....but I'm going to set those aside in this particular situation and allow God to deal with them. So......what's left over are simple everyday people who get up in the morning and go about their day doing whatever it is they do, but have one little thing about them that most of us think is just normal everyday chit chat that happens in our homes, workplaces, on the street, or having lunch. And I'm hoping by the time you reach the end of this, you'll discover something interesting about yourself, that if you changed, it would make a huge impact on not only yourself, but more importantly those around you.

Now keep in mind, we all do this to a degree......it's very common and most of us pay no attention to how it makes us look to the outside world. As I said....just harmless and pointless banter.  But, when does it become more than that, and what does it say about your character even more so than the person you've chosen to chit chat about? Yes....I could call is gossip, or people bashing, or the scoop about someone, but for now, I'll let you try and figure out what you call it. Believe me, when asking any one person what they call it, they can come up with something they deem perfectly harmless, and wonder why I even ask. And yes. of course I am guilty as the next person, but once I started to really pay attention to what was coming out of my mouth, not realizing what I was doing, it became clear to me that changes needed to be made.

Are there varying degrees of this harmless banter? Yes, of course......but bottom line, if the person you were talking about were standing behind you in the midst of your seemingly harmless banter, I would venture to say you'd be mortified. And I'm talking anything from someone's new hairdo, to the clothes they wear, to their personal life....you name it.....whatever you have no business in talking about. I guess you have to stop for a moment and see what it would feel like to have someone talk about you or your personal life or character in a not so flattering way. To actually bear witness to a table of people you thought were your friends toss you around like a ball of yarn that which each toss becomes unraveled and frayed.

But of course before you undergo that exercise, you have to stop for a second and go look in the mirror. Ah yes....there it is. If you're wondering about the phrase, "don't even think about plucking the splinter out of someone elses eye until you've tackled your own"...........the mirror will get the job done real quick. Isn't it interesting how we spend so much time making sure how good we look in the mirror each day, but never stop long enough to really SEE who we are, or how we put ourselves out there in the world.

So.......hence my title.....Just For Today...........I would like to challenge you just for today, while having your morning break, see if you can go through the day without speaking about someone you know, or even someone you don't know, in an unkind, judgemental, or unforgiving way. And to think about what it would feel like if you were the topic of someone else's banter. And we can just call it what it is ok.......bashing, tearing down, redicule, or flat out gossip.

Does this mean we are bad people, or that we must seek perfection? Well no...not exactly......but I think  if we all stop for a moment, we all know what is right and what is wrong.......and there is nothing right about talking about someone in an unkind way, especially if it's a friend or family member. We are all coming from a different place in life, with different upbringing, families, friends, environment....whatever the case may be, but as well....we are all just people trying to survive in the world, to find peace and happiness in a very hard place to live these days. Wouldn't it be nice if we all just tried to make it easier on each other with thoughts and words that build up, instead of tear down......even if Just For Today?

"Timing"

There is, I believe, a clock that not only keeps the time of day, but one that creates a source of synchronicity in our lives, which if you truly tap into, can and will make all the difference in the level of peace you experience in the midst of navigating this world. So let's see what webster has to say about not just timing.....but synchronicity as well. Timing: the regulation of the speed of something so as to produce the most effective results. Synchronicity: happening at the same time...occurring together...simultaneous.

This could be the makings of an intricate puzzle, and as well, asking yourself where this is going, but if you stick with me, it may be something that could change your whole way of thinking about yourself, as well as those around you, and how we all "fit" you might say, in this crazy world we live in.

First of all, at least for me, you have to have a specific desire, need, or goal in life before you will begin to see how either of these words actually work. If you aren't at least somewhat clear, then I think it's almost impossible to even be aware that they exist........and just to clarify....they can be available for any of us, but it does take thinking out of the box, or maybe a better term, changing your direction in life just a degree or two.

Now time is something that just is.....meaning it gets us from one moment to the next each day, but when you label any particular moment, whether it's a task, motion, thought, directions, activity....whatever it might be, it becomes a definable way in which to see how it relates to time. Ok....if I just lost you there, try this. I am sitting at my computer typing away, and I may know what time it is, but it really doesn't have anything to do with the timing of this particular piece of writing... meaning what I want to say, who I want to reach, when a particular person decides to read it and if it actually provokes them in any way. They could have an ah-hah moment, or it might trigger a memory, or they can even be surprised that it was something they had actually felt or experienced or had been pondering days before they read it.

So you can see how this already moves into the area of synchronicity. If you were thinking about this subject matter the day before, then two things have coincided...i.e. when you decided to read this article and your thoughts about it came together at the same time.

Now you can see how it's not time specifically I'm talking about.....but things coming together in life that just seem to click, fit, or connect in a way that sometimes can be very surprising. I'm sure you've put a puzzle together at some point, and would be in search for one particular piece to the puzzle, and once you found it, it gave you a great sense of satisfaction.........even just a little puzzle piece....what a simple thing. So I'm sure you can imagine, and most likely have already experienced these moments, to realize how very cool it is when you think something like that gets your attention. Sort of an out of body experience that you carry with you for the day, and you're not quite sure how it happened, but you would like to see it happen again. Maybe similar to dejavu?  Maybe not exactly. Dejavu is feeling or experiencing something that you think you've felt before...whereas timing and synchronicity are two things coming together that you didn't expect to happen.

So now that we are clear about what timing is, the trick here is, how do we experience those moments more often, or even for the first time if we've never felt it before. Well....hopefully by me writing this, it will encourage you to be more aware of "those times" either that have already happened, or those that are likely to or could happen if you opened yourself up to seeing them. Why is this even necessary? Because it's a way of seeing how magical the world can be and how if you pay close attention....those dreams, desires, prayers...etc, that we all think about each day, can and do sometimes fall in our laps at the most interesting moments. And of course the most important part of this, is finding the real meaning behind these moments. For me.....I can take one and find ten different ways to think about it, and usually settle in a place of gratefulness, which is such a wonderful feeling this day and time.

I call it a "God" moment. I can label it "Timing", magical moments, synchronicity....whatever strikes my fancy....but in the end, I know in my heart what it is.....and therefore, in search of them every single day. Our days on this earth can be very hard sometimes, and we are in bad need of more hope, love, and understanding of one another. So if you open yourself up a little, adopt a bit more awareness, I promise timing will become a most delightful thing that will bring more meaning to your life and the lives of those around you. Watch in amazement how two things can come together and bring with it a powerhouse of God and his workings.

Happy Easter to you all.

"Patience"

Seemingly nice word, but one that we all have trouble with, at least I do, and always have since I was a child. I truly believe if you didn’t witness patience as a child, it’s not likely it will be a part of your adult life, but something you will have to realize you are lacking, and begin to incorporate it into your daily life in some way. Unfortunately patience can’t  be bought at the corner store, or caught like the common cold…..or accidentally rubbed up against, but has to be decidedly learned. I know…..do I ever run out of things to add to your arsenal of life skills? Well, I haven’t run out of them for myself, so it’s not looking good so far. It would be nice if when we were born, we were, while given our first bath, implanted with a chip that had all the important things we would need throughout our lifetime, like patience, compassion, understanding……all those things that again are not automatic, but learned as we navigate the world.

Now granted I do believe in inherited behaviors, so if your mother, father, grandparents or uncle Fred that died 50 years ago, had a knack for patience and understanding, it could be passed onto baby Sue in 2012. And of course if he had been a gruff, rude, and impatient man, then Sue might not be so lucky. She may have to work extra hard at developing those behaviors or traits. So, for now, let’s focus on patience, and whether we believe it’s inherited or learned, the fact remains, there are an overabundance of people walking around these days who have no idea of what that word means. And honestly, even if someone does understand the true meaning of patience, they are hell bent on not practicing it at any time or any place, with anyone. If anything there is a blatant disregard for the word or anything close to it.

My theory? As I’ve expressed before, I believe that most of us really try to do the right thing….really try to be kind, loving, understanding and yes, patient. But the world is so caught up in this incredible pace, it makes it almost impossible to practice or even feel patience. I guess the thought would be, I have no time to be patient…..everything has to be right now…..no waiting….no delayed gratification…..right now. Now just reading that makes me exhausted, and wondering how the world would or could change so drastically if we all learned to practice a bit more patience. Maybe I am getting too old to understand the reality of life, it’s demands, expectations and driven-ness to keep up with everyone else, even if you have no idea who “they” are.

We have become accustomed to drive-thru everything….not just food nowadays. And granted it would be nice to have a drive-thru patience booth, like the old photo hut where you could drop off your film to get developed. But I guess unless I open one that serves coffee and a donut, I probably won’t have much luck getting anyone interested in taking the time to frequent it to see what patience might look like, or how much it cost. And of course anyone can go to their favorite bookstore and most likely find 50 books or more on the subject of patience, there is still no guarantee that it will really be embraced on a level that can actually make a difference in not only your life…but in those around you.

Ah…..there it is. There is the key to patience.  It has to do with “those around you.” For me that is the key to so many things that are not right with the world, because we are too busy to realize that our lack of patience, understanding, compassion, whatever it may be, has to do with not only ourselves, but with those around us. That is the importance of learning patience. Because the lack of patience not only steals our peace, joy and contentment in life, but invariably, it will steal it from those people we come into contact with each day. Now of course it’s easy to point the finger outward, and blame any situation on the fact that he or she has no patience. We can do that with any behavior that is lacking in some way. But that’s the easy way out, and honestly does nothing to help others learn patience. We have to make a decision that we are going to be the one to not only learn it, but to incorporate it into our daily lives, so others can witness it and want it for themselves.

I know…..it’s not easy. I have to pray for patience each day, and actually breath it in like I’m being deprived of oxygen, and I must have it in order to survive. Now will you live without patience? Of course….you don’t have to have it to survive, but the point here is, if you realize that practicing patience can not only change your life,  but it will change the lives of so many that you come into contact with. When I think that there is one little thing that I could do to make someone else’s life easier or more pleasant, or meaningful, I get this wave of joy because it didn’t cost me anything, except opening my eyes and becoming more aware of what patience really is, and how healing it is in so many ways.

So, if you need a wave of joy and peace to flow through you today…..yes…I mean you. Then see the word patience in your mind, and decide that you are going to be a blessing in someone else’s life today by practicing it in a big way, or just a simple way. I guarantee you’ll walk away with a smile on your face, and more importantly you will know that what you did just changed the world.

"Stripped"

Seemingly harsh sounding word depending on how it's used.....but in short clearly means something is being taken away, quickly and with intention of never being regained. Though I prefer this definition.....dismantled. I invision a piece of furniture that's been damaged and in bad need of repair. Each piece has to be carefully removed in order to protect the integrity of the wood, the hardware, the detail that was taken when first made. It sounds more gentle and forgiving, and that while the piece is still being stripped, there is purpose, reason, and a belief and hope that once the old has been taken away......the new can be revealed.

Of course I don't have the need to talk about refinishing furniture here...but it does allow me to see clearly how our lives do go through times where we feel as if we are being stripped naked. Where everything we have, think, or do needs to be transformed into something different, even if we have no clue as to exactly what they are, we do feel something is on it's way and we need to prepare. The problem most often is that we are not paying attention to those things that need to be stripped away, and caught off guard. You know......the hit by the truck .......the rug pulled out from under us.....run over by a train....run off into the ditch feelings. We've all been there at some point and time......some worse than others, and we either have to take a nose dive into the situation in search of our strength, or we bail.

Now I'm sure you ask yourself quite often when these things happen to you or to someone around you, WHY? And the first thing you want to do when it does happen is RUN, wanting no part at all. Will it help to know this is practiced most often?  Of course more appropriately called, denial. Denial allows us to step away, buy a train ticket to another place, even though we have no destination in mind......just gone without a trace. I can testify to this practice, and for a long time it worked quite well for me, till the train stopped running........ran out of steam so to speak. This is in fact a very scary place to be......but is where the stripping comes into play. Yes indeedy, when you've used all your tickets to run, and there is no place else to hide, you feel like you're standing in the middle of the road naked....for all to see....completely vulnerable.

Now many of us still have the ability or luxury rather, to stay in that place of denial, usually because we've been hit with stuff in life, but nothing that forces us to our knees......nothing that demands one to relinquish the ticket to run. These abilities may seem like extraordinary coping skills, which granted many people have, and put to good use, but for many of us, it is exactly what it appears to be......running. The pain or loss may be too great to endure, and there is no other recourse. This is very hard to experience for self, and very sad and confusing to watch in those around us. I guess it depends on how well you know the person as to whether they are in denial or whether they are simply enduring what has stripped them to the core.

In my case, since I have been stripped to the core, with no tickets left to run, I have been forced for many years to allow God to "dismantle" me as He sees fit, and now am able to see it for what it is. Not a punishment, and for sure not something one can run from or deny, but rather see as something quite necessary in order to free myself from all things that no longer serve a purpose in my life. What are those things? Things that we hang onto that stand in the way of living a life of truth, integrity, and humility....as well as joy, peace, contentment, the ability to understand and forgive those around us, and realizing our God given gifts and talents.

So the next time I feel I'm being stripped, and have no train ticket, I'll try to sit still and allow God to show me in His time what needs to change.....and will grant those around me the grace in which to do the same.

A Picture in Your Mind

I'm sure at some point most of us have had thoughts, dreams, and visions of being parked in a beach chair someplace exotic, allowing the woes and cares of the world to melt away with the suns warming rays. It's a good vision, for it brings, even if momentarily, a sense of relief from life's daily situations that can leave us so very depleated. And when you are forced to spend most of your time at home still and quiet, tucked away from the world, those visions can come in very handy indeed. You need a change of scenery from your "stuff", just as I need a change of scenery from my four walls.

Of course my challenge, keeping with the tone of the previous blog about the weave of life, and how to start visualizing how you see yourself in the world. is to step away from the "checking out of reality" scene that the beach brings, and really picturing yourself according to what your physical self experiences at any given moment. For instance.....you woke up with a headache, slept through your alarm for work, ran out of shampoo, and now your car won't start. I know.....a doozy of a morning. But for me, I see myself locked in a closet, naked and covered with soap suds, with no one even remotely closeby to answer my screams for help. In other words completely and totally helpless, with seemingly no way out.......the key word being helpless.

So for a moment I have taken time to connect my gut feelings of helplessness, to hopefully a way in which to find a way out of my predicament. Of course the end result will be not that I have a headache and late for work, but how I decide to be with all of that and not lose my mind, or turn it into a situation where I beat myself up for essentially being in the midst of things that simply go wrong in life....period.

Of course the worse case scenario in this situation, is getting fired for being late. The other things like a headache, running out of shampoo or a car not starting is just stuff........you know the "if it's not one thing it's another syndrome." Just the wheels of life moving along as they see fit. So back to the closet scene. The goal here is to accurately connect with the feelings of helplessness, where if you are feeling helpless in one area of your life, your likely to feel it in another. That can come later. But for now......you're in the closet.....you don't like the feeling obviously or what else it brings up about your life.......the trick is.......how to let go of that helplessness so you can simply get back to life and correct those things that are immediately wrong. Bottom line....you want to.....need to get to work, so some things will have to take place in order for that to happen, and focusing on your helplessness won't accomplish much.

And obviously, this is not really about having a headache, running out of shampoo, or being late for work, but being able to connect the dots from the situation at hand, to some really hard core feelings and emotions that it brings up about you and your life. Whew.........talk about going around to the back door to make a point. Well.....sometimes it takes as long as it takes.....but I eventually get there.

Since I learned to do this in my own life, I have gone from visions of being locked in a dark shed with my feet stuck in cement, to hanging on a telephone wire out in the middle of the desert.....or my most recent favorite, in a small boat out in the ocean with a small leak. My most immediate need, if I can't properly plug the leak, is to start throwing things overboard that I find I can live without. Of course in my mind, those things can be people, things, attitudes, behaviors....etc....that I have held onto for years and is starting to weigh me down. And of course weigh me down SO much that I am starting to sink. I either hang on to these things, or I save myself and start tossing things out.

I realize to many this may sound silly, or you believe there are better ways in which to cope with everyday little problems. But for me, I see it as a God given gift that helps me connect with my true feelings about self, others as well as the world around me. It reminds me of how He sees the world and how He doesn't want us to be weighed down with things that steal our happiness, peace and joy in life. I can pray that those things be taken away....those seemingly aggravating situations, big or small.......but then I won't have had the opportunity to dig a little deeper and learn the big lessons in life. The "what really matters" lessons.

The Intricate Weave of Life

Ah yes.....when your mind ponders on the why's, what if's, should haves, or could haves, where do you find the answers? It's not as easy as going to the bookshelf and pulling down the Webster,  flipping through the pages in search of a word you came across that you didn't fully understand, though it sure would be nice if it were. Though I suppose we could investigate the word weave, especially since that seems to stick in my mind lately. Like a song you keep singing or humming, but don't know why you can't get it out of your mind. So let's go to the Webster. Weave.........to construct in the mind or imagination....to make ones way....to be interlaced or intertwined. Of course you would find the literal definition....the interlacing of threads and yarns.....but I of course like to go further down the page to find the figurative meaning......that's the way I work....no apologizing, just plain fact.

I believe that God meant for us to dig deep and find meaning in life.....every aspect of life. Who knows....maybe I have too much time on my hands, or maybe it's my lifes work. I remember thinking as a child that in my adult years,  I would be surrounded by books, words, colors, and patterns. But would also be dealing with the mind in some way........so I suppose thats what I'm doing in a sense. It's just not your typical everyday job with a desk and name on the door.....which I love. Who wants to be normal and everyday?

So we see that I don't have a problem with expressing myself through words, and of course you become what you read, so where does color and pattern come into play? Well...I do paint and draw, design cards, color in my Mandala book, which has beautiful drawings that you fill in with color, that allows you to slow down and meditate while you're discovering how all the colors interact and come together to make a beautiful picture. It's really amazing how it works, and I highly recommend for anyone who would love to learn how to be still and quiet, play with color and patterns, and just do something different and fun for a change. It also helps you get in touch with the child within you, for we all colored as a child, and this allows you to tap into that, which is very healthy for all of us. There are several books to choose from, and the best markers are Tombow markers, which you can find at Michaels or Dick Blick art supplies online. You can try other markers...but these you will absolutely love. So thats my plug for the day.

Now....stay with me on this. Along with the weaving color, patterns, drawing, etc, comes the most amazing part of the weave of life theory. It opens the door to a life of visualization. OK...so let's go to Webster again. I love this. Visualization....to form a mental picture. Now believe it or not...you would be surprised at how many people have never done this, nor do they understand how easy it is, nor how beneficial it can be to their everyday life. So if you've stuck with me this far, then you can maybe create a picture in your mind of how all of this comes together and forms an intricate weave of life. I know....it takes me a while. But this was a process for me, and will be for you as well....so it's well worth the time and effort to learn how to do.

In short.....in order to go deeper, or find more meaning and understanding of life, it helps to have a way in which to do that, so that you don't walk around just wondering what the heck is going on with your life.....but the meaning behind it. Is that important for us to know........well it's not so much about knowing....because none of us have a crystal  ball.......though it wakes us up to the process.....being in the process of life and soaking up every moment that we can while we're here.

When you have too much, or you feel too much is going on in your life, that goes beyond the bizzare or any understanding at all, I believe God gave us ways in which to cope, and this weave of life is my way of coping in the midst of things in my life that just cannot be understood any other way. We are all in search of happiness, joy, meaning, understanding, and contenment in life, but  looking in the wrong place and have no clue how easy it is to find. Am I saying all you have to do is buy a coloring book? No....but it could spark something most definitely, which in turn could bring understanding about another area of your life.

So......the weave of life and visualizing the weave of life. What does that mean?  Well..oddly enough, I'm not going to finish explaining what that means. I'm going to allow for some space here for you to ponder. Think about the terms I've used here, and see what comes up for you. You either want to find deeper meaning, or you don't. It's your choice. But you won't be sorry if you at least dip your toe in the water.

And Yet Another Day

As you can see, it's been a while since I've blogged. Life simply sent me a curve ball that required me to step away from my normal routine, think about my life, change and rearrange........ just like deciding that your life might be a bit more interesting and fun if you moved the living room furniture around. I know, maybe a silly analogy, but that's what I do. I use things, people, and situations to help express my thoughts and feelings. Makes them more real, and for the reader, it hopefully creates a palette where colors sort of come together to make a picture. I love that.

I think sometimes it is so very difficult to express to someone how you are really feeling about your life. What works, what doesn't, what hurts, what is overwhelmingly sad or happy, etc.....with knowing one thing.....you want to be known. You wake up, look around, take a deep breath, maybe smell the coffee brewing that you set up the night before, feel a nice cool breeze brush against your skin from an opened window, or notice your dog or cat stretching at your feet, where they'd been curled up all night......and then realize it's yet another day, and what will it bring. You hope that it will be filled with good things, happy moments, some good news, something that will make you feel at ease and at peace......but then you realize that you may have to endure something that is very painful and overwhelmingly sad as well.

The good things are easy to take in.....they offer freedom and an openness to fully experience life with peace and no fear. But the not so good things make us want to withdraw, pull the covers over our head and hope the alarm doesn't go off for another ten years. We rub our heads, curls our toes, and pray that somehow the strength and courage will be available to us before we ease out of bed......maybe realizing that we are not alone. There are in fact millions of people who are experiencing the same feelings, and actually experiencing things that we cannot even imagine having to go through......and then of course we remember they are in fact people who are close to our hearts.

Yes....a doze of reality as well as a different perspective in knowing that whatever it is we are going through....bad or good....that ours thoughts and feelings about life, ourselves, those around us, are felt, and felt deeply, and should be shared with someone. How else can we be known for who we are, and how we are experiencing our lives, or if we have something to offer someone else, unless we verbalize our thoughts. I want to be known, as well as fully know those around me and how they are really feeling at any given moment, especially if it's something painful and they simply need a witness to their pain. And as well......a moment of joy, that is simply magical and overwhelming......that could possibly bring a smile or joy to someone elses life for just a moment.......how could I or why would I not want to share that?

So.....see if you can open yourself up today and share something that is deeply felt, and you may be surprised to see that even if this is yet another day.....it is your day and worth sharing.