"Stripped"

Seemingly harsh sounding word depending on how it's used.....but in short clearly means something is being taken away, quickly and with intention of never being regained. Though I prefer this definition.....dismantled. I invision a piece of furniture that's been damaged and in bad need of repair. Each piece has to be carefully removed in order to protect the integrity of the wood, the hardware, the detail that was taken when first made. It sounds more gentle and forgiving, and that while the piece is still being stripped, there is purpose, reason, and a belief and hope that once the old has been taken away......the new can be revealed.

Of course I don't have the need to talk about refinishing furniture here...but it does allow me to see clearly how our lives do go through times where we feel as if we are being stripped naked. Where everything we have, think, or do needs to be transformed into something different, even if we have no clue as to exactly what they are, we do feel something is on it's way and we need to prepare. The problem most often is that we are not paying attention to those things that need to be stripped away, and caught off guard. You know......the hit by the truck .......the rug pulled out from under us.....run over by a train....run off into the ditch feelings. We've all been there at some point and time......some worse than others, and we either have to take a nose dive into the situation in search of our strength, or we bail.

Now I'm sure you ask yourself quite often when these things happen to you or to someone around you, WHY? And the first thing you want to do when it does happen is RUN, wanting no part at all. Will it help to know this is practiced most often?  Of course more appropriately called, denial. Denial allows us to step away, buy a train ticket to another place, even though we have no destination in mind......just gone without a trace. I can testify to this practice, and for a long time it worked quite well for me, till the train stopped running........ran out of steam so to speak. This is in fact a very scary place to be......but is where the stripping comes into play. Yes indeedy, when you've used all your tickets to run, and there is no place else to hide, you feel like you're standing in the middle of the road naked....for all to see....completely vulnerable.

Now many of us still have the ability or luxury rather, to stay in that place of denial, usually because we've been hit with stuff in life, but nothing that forces us to our knees......nothing that demands one to relinquish the ticket to run. These abilities may seem like extraordinary coping skills, which granted many people have, and put to good use, but for many of us, it is exactly what it appears to be......running. The pain or loss may be too great to endure, and there is no other recourse. This is very hard to experience for self, and very sad and confusing to watch in those around us. I guess it depends on how well you know the person as to whether they are in denial or whether they are simply enduring what has stripped them to the core.

In my case, since I have been stripped to the core, with no tickets left to run, I have been forced for many years to allow God to "dismantle" me as He sees fit, and now am able to see it for what it is. Not a punishment, and for sure not something one can run from or deny, but rather see as something quite necessary in order to free myself from all things that no longer serve a purpose in my life. What are those things? Things that we hang onto that stand in the way of living a life of truth, integrity, and humility....as well as joy, peace, contentment, the ability to understand and forgive those around us, and realizing our God given gifts and talents.

So the next time I feel I'm being stripped, and have no train ticket, I'll try to sit still and allow God to show me in His time what needs to change.....and will grant those around me the grace in which to do the same.

A Picture in Your Mind

I'm sure at some point most of us have had thoughts, dreams, and visions of being parked in a beach chair someplace exotic, allowing the woes and cares of the world to melt away with the suns warming rays. It's a good vision, for it brings, even if momentarily, a sense of relief from life's daily situations that can leave us so very depleated. And when you are forced to spend most of your time at home still and quiet, tucked away from the world, those visions can come in very handy indeed. You need a change of scenery from your "stuff", just as I need a change of scenery from my four walls.

Of course my challenge, keeping with the tone of the previous blog about the weave of life, and how to start visualizing how you see yourself in the world. is to step away from the "checking out of reality" scene that the beach brings, and really picturing yourself according to what your physical self experiences at any given moment. For instance.....you woke up with a headache, slept through your alarm for work, ran out of shampoo, and now your car won't start. I know.....a doozy of a morning. But for me, I see myself locked in a closet, naked and covered with soap suds, with no one even remotely closeby to answer my screams for help. In other words completely and totally helpless, with seemingly no way out.......the key word being helpless.

So for a moment I have taken time to connect my gut feelings of helplessness, to hopefully a way in which to find a way out of my predicament. Of course the end result will be not that I have a headache and late for work, but how I decide to be with all of that and not lose my mind, or turn it into a situation where I beat myself up for essentially being in the midst of things that simply go wrong in life....period.

Of course the worse case scenario in this situation, is getting fired for being late. The other things like a headache, running out of shampoo or a car not starting is just stuff........you know the "if it's not one thing it's another syndrome." Just the wheels of life moving along as they see fit. So back to the closet scene. The goal here is to accurately connect with the feelings of helplessness, where if you are feeling helpless in one area of your life, your likely to feel it in another. That can come later. But for now......you're in the closet.....you don't like the feeling obviously or what else it brings up about your life.......the trick is.......how to let go of that helplessness so you can simply get back to life and correct those things that are immediately wrong. Bottom line....you want to.....need to get to work, so some things will have to take place in order for that to happen, and focusing on your helplessness won't accomplish much.

And obviously, this is not really about having a headache, running out of shampoo, or being late for work, but being able to connect the dots from the situation at hand, to some really hard core feelings and emotions that it brings up about you and your life. Whew.........talk about going around to the back door to make a point. Well.....sometimes it takes as long as it takes.....but I eventually get there.

Since I learned to do this in my own life, I have gone from visions of being locked in a dark shed with my feet stuck in cement, to hanging on a telephone wire out in the middle of the desert.....or my most recent favorite, in a small boat out in the ocean with a small leak. My most immediate need, if I can't properly plug the leak, is to start throwing things overboard that I find I can live without. Of course in my mind, those things can be people, things, attitudes, behaviors....etc....that I have held onto for years and is starting to weigh me down. And of course weigh me down SO much that I am starting to sink. I either hang on to these things, or I save myself and start tossing things out.

I realize to many this may sound silly, or you believe there are better ways in which to cope with everyday little problems. But for me, I see it as a God given gift that helps me connect with my true feelings about self, others as well as the world around me. It reminds me of how He sees the world and how He doesn't want us to be weighed down with things that steal our happiness, peace and joy in life. I can pray that those things be taken away....those seemingly aggravating situations, big or small.......but then I won't have had the opportunity to dig a little deeper and learn the big lessons in life. The "what really matters" lessons.

The Intricate Weave of Life

Ah yes.....when your mind ponders on the why's, what if's, should haves, or could haves, where do you find the answers? It's not as easy as going to the bookshelf and pulling down the Webster,  flipping through the pages in search of a word you came across that you didn't fully understand, though it sure would be nice if it were. Though I suppose we could investigate the word weave, especially since that seems to stick in my mind lately. Like a song you keep singing or humming, but don't know why you can't get it out of your mind. So let's go to the Webster. Weave.........to construct in the mind or imagination....to make ones way....to be interlaced or intertwined. Of course you would find the literal definition....the interlacing of threads and yarns.....but I of course like to go further down the page to find the figurative meaning......that's the way I work....no apologizing, just plain fact.

I believe that God meant for us to dig deep and find meaning in life.....every aspect of life. Who knows....maybe I have too much time on my hands, or maybe it's my lifes work. I remember thinking as a child that in my adult years,  I would be surrounded by books, words, colors, and patterns. But would also be dealing with the mind in some way........so I suppose thats what I'm doing in a sense. It's just not your typical everyday job with a desk and name on the door.....which I love. Who wants to be normal and everyday?

So we see that I don't have a problem with expressing myself through words, and of course you become what you read, so where does color and pattern come into play? Well...I do paint and draw, design cards, color in my Mandala book, which has beautiful drawings that you fill in with color, that allows you to slow down and meditate while you're discovering how all the colors interact and come together to make a beautiful picture. It's really amazing how it works, and I highly recommend for anyone who would love to learn how to be still and quiet, play with color and patterns, and just do something different and fun for a change. It also helps you get in touch with the child within you, for we all colored as a child, and this allows you to tap into that, which is very healthy for all of us. There are several books to choose from, and the best markers are Tombow markers, which you can find at Michaels or Dick Blick art supplies online. You can try other markers...but these you will absolutely love. So thats my plug for the day.

Now....stay with me on this. Along with the weaving color, patterns, drawing, etc, comes the most amazing part of the weave of life theory. It opens the door to a life of visualization. OK...so let's go to Webster again. I love this. Visualization....to form a mental picture. Now believe it or not...you would be surprised at how many people have never done this, nor do they understand how easy it is, nor how beneficial it can be to their everyday life. So if you've stuck with me this far, then you can maybe create a picture in your mind of how all of this comes together and forms an intricate weave of life. I know....it takes me a while. But this was a process for me, and will be for you as well....so it's well worth the time and effort to learn how to do.

In short.....in order to go deeper, or find more meaning and understanding of life, it helps to have a way in which to do that, so that you don't walk around just wondering what the heck is going on with your life.....but the meaning behind it. Is that important for us to know........well it's not so much about knowing....because none of us have a crystal  ball.......though it wakes us up to the process.....being in the process of life and soaking up every moment that we can while we're here.

When you have too much, or you feel too much is going on in your life, that goes beyond the bizzare or any understanding at all, I believe God gave us ways in which to cope, and this weave of life is my way of coping in the midst of things in my life that just cannot be understood any other way. We are all in search of happiness, joy, meaning, understanding, and contenment in life, but  looking in the wrong place and have no clue how easy it is to find. Am I saying all you have to do is buy a coloring book? No....but it could spark something most definitely, which in turn could bring understanding about another area of your life.

So......the weave of life and visualizing the weave of life. What does that mean?  Well..oddly enough, I'm not going to finish explaining what that means. I'm going to allow for some space here for you to ponder. Think about the terms I've used here, and see what comes up for you. You either want to find deeper meaning, or you don't. It's your choice. But you won't be sorry if you at least dip your toe in the water.

And Yet Another Day

As you can see, it's been a while since I've blogged. Life simply sent me a curve ball that required me to step away from my normal routine, think about my life, change and rearrange........ just like deciding that your life might be a bit more interesting and fun if you moved the living room furniture around. I know, maybe a silly analogy, but that's what I do. I use things, people, and situations to help express my thoughts and feelings. Makes them more real, and for the reader, it hopefully creates a palette where colors sort of come together to make a picture. I love that.

I think sometimes it is so very difficult to express to someone how you are really feeling about your life. What works, what doesn't, what hurts, what is overwhelmingly sad or happy, etc.....with knowing one thing.....you want to be known. You wake up, look around, take a deep breath, maybe smell the coffee brewing that you set up the night before, feel a nice cool breeze brush against your skin from an opened window, or notice your dog or cat stretching at your feet, where they'd been curled up all night......and then realize it's yet another day, and what will it bring. You hope that it will be filled with good things, happy moments, some good news, something that will make you feel at ease and at peace......but then you realize that you may have to endure something that is very painful and overwhelmingly sad as well.

The good things are easy to take in.....they offer freedom and an openness to fully experience life with peace and no fear. But the not so good things make us want to withdraw, pull the covers over our head and hope the alarm doesn't go off for another ten years. We rub our heads, curls our toes, and pray that somehow the strength and courage will be available to us before we ease out of bed......maybe realizing that we are not alone. There are in fact millions of people who are experiencing the same feelings, and actually experiencing things that we cannot even imagine having to go through......and then of course we remember they are in fact people who are close to our hearts.

Yes....a doze of reality as well as a different perspective in knowing that whatever it is we are going through....bad or good....that ours thoughts and feelings about life, ourselves, those around us, are felt, and felt deeply, and should be shared with someone. How else can we be known for who we are, and how we are experiencing our lives, or if we have something to offer someone else, unless we verbalize our thoughts. I want to be known, as well as fully know those around me and how they are really feeling at any given moment, especially if it's something painful and they simply need a witness to their pain. And as well......a moment of joy, that is simply magical and overwhelming......that could possibly bring a smile or joy to someone elses life for just a moment.......how could I or why would I not want to share that?

So.....see if you can open yourself up today and share something that is deeply felt, and you may be surprised to see that even if this is yet another day.....it is your day and worth sharing.